Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to be in the same room?

36 replies

picklepen · 01/06/2013 18:05

So, I'm 22wks into 1st successful pregnancy. 2d ago a work friend colleague asked me what I thought about the bump on her head (just asking for an un-official, non-medical opinion...)
Then told me she had a pain down the side of her face. And I could see (from close quarters) she had a rash under her hair.
So I said it looked like shingles. And she replied that that was what she thought it was.
Oh, I'm still fuming...

Last night she phoned me to say she'd been to her GP and that she does have shingles. And that she was very surprised when he told her that yes, you can get chickenpox from shingles, and that she should make sure both of her pregnant co-workers have had chickenpox. I would have had to have had direct contact though.
So I reminded her that I HAD. I'd looked at her head.

She didn't phone me until after my GPs had closed for the weekend, and I don't know if I've had it. I know I've had measles and mumps. Also she wasn't going to phone the other pregnant lady until after the weekend "because she didn't want to cause a panic".

DH has brought me down from the rafters, but I'm struggling to know what I say when I next see her. Despite my pleading with her on the phone to stay away from work, she told me she was going to see how she felt. I don't think she gets this at all! She wanted to stay on the phone and chat about my scan and baby names- all I wanted to do was slam the phone down!

So is it me? Am I being overly pregnant sensitive? Is it normal behaviour to subject your co-workers with infectious diseases?

OP posts:
ifitsnotanarse · 01/06/2013 18:10

YANBU. Very insensitive woman. Should she return to work on Monday, you should request that she be moved until she is non-contagious.

ifitsnotanarse · 01/06/2013 18:10

No longer contagious

ReluctantBeing · 01/06/2013 18:10

She obviously doesn't realise the dangers.

wonderingsoul · 01/06/2013 18:12

i think you need to calm down a little biut, ynbu though but stressing wont help you at all.

i would say the chance of you catching it are slim, but a trip to the gp will put your mind at rest, i may be wrong but isnit it the first trimester that its really dangourouse? but ethier way, gp monday will be helpfull.

secondaly monday morning you need to phone your office and talk to your boss, explain what shes said to you, is there a way you can work in a different part? or they dont allow her in.

crumblepie · 01/06/2013 18:14

she should not of gone to work thinking it might be shingles , especially knowing there are pregnant women there , she should not return until its safe to do so , selfish woman .

Parker231 · 01/06/2013 18:15

I've had shingles - very painful - my doctors advised that I didn't need to stay off work. To catch it you need to have already had chicken pox and be in skin to skin contact with the infected area. I was told I was ok to continue going to physio appts at the local hospital. I've no idea who I caught it from.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 01/06/2013 18:17

I thought shingles wasn't contagious?

CloudsAndTrees · 01/06/2013 18:24

She didn't know it was an infectious disease until after she'd asked you to have a look, so I wouldn't be angry with her about that. It sounds like she just doesn't know that it can be a problem for pregnant women, which is fair enough as its not her that pregnant.

If you don't know if you've had CP you can ask for a blood test to check your immunity.

I would stay home from work on Monday and go to your doctors instead.

alto1 · 01/06/2013 18:25

Misunderstanding upthread.

You can catch chicken pox from someone with shingles. More likely if you've touched the area

You cannot 'catch' shingles. People who've had chicken pox in past can get it if the virus (which can lie dormant in nerve roots) becomes active.

She shouldn't have been at work if she thought she had shingles and she certainly shouldn't have been near anyone who might be pregnant.

She should stay off untill all the blisters have dried and scabbed over (sorry) regardless of how she feels.

Original poster
picklepen · 01/06/2013 18:26

Need to come clean- I've already NHS direct-ed, (and scared myself silly); and then called Out of hours service. I'm to contact my antenatal clinic on mon to test my antibody levels.

Parker- the GP and NHS direct say you can catch chickenpox from someone with shingles, don't need to have had it. All you need for 'significant contact' is 15min in the same room. I was working with her all morning and then touched her head.
I know it's a horrible condition. I'm trying to feel sorry for her...

OP posts:
scaevola · 01/06/2013 18:29

Are you sure about the significant contact bit?

The usual advice is that you actually need to touch a shingles rash to be at risk. It's not droplet-airbourne like chicken pox.

QuintessentialOldDear · 01/06/2013 18:32

I was pregnant with DS2 when dh got shingles. I had never had Chicken pox.
It is caused by the Herpes Zoster virus. It gives you Shingles if you have had chicken pox, and Chicken pox if you havent!

Ds1 used to come into our bed in the mornings for a cuddle, so he had pretty close contact with dh.

Ds1 got Chicken pox from Dhs Shingles. I had to do a blood test, and they did find antibodies in my blood. Lets hope that is the case for you too.

flanbase · 01/06/2013 18:39

either she stays at home until no longer contagious or your work pays you to stay at home as they can't ensure your working environment is ok for your pregnancy health

flanbase · 01/06/2013 18:40

get all the checks and medical follow up so you wont worry. Hope you don't get chicken pox

Purpletots · 01/06/2013 18:51

What a selfish woman!! When I was about 19 I caught chickenpox and a lady I worked with was pregnant but she hadnt ever had it. I took 2 weeks off work so I wouldn't infect her.

GailTheGoldfish · 01/06/2013 18:58

Phone your midwife and talk to her. I had a similar experience when I was about 25 weeks and the midwife told me to get my 28 week bloods taken early and add Varicella Zoster (chicken pox virus) to the form so they would test for that. The test showed I was immune so you may be too. But call your midwifery team now.

maddening · 01/06/2013 19:09

Speak to your employer - they should be able to instruct her to stay away - they have a duty of care.

2468Motorway · 01/06/2013 19:17

Have you had chicken pox? If so you are very unlikely to catch anything from her.

You can catch chicken pox from shingles but not shingles (its your own virus reactivated from when you had chicken pox).

Jayne266 · 01/06/2013 19:19

Just be very cautious I myself had shingles and was told to keep it quiet and stay away from the pregnant women. I was so shocked and upset that I had to hide what I had and not go home. (I was still classed as contagious) I went to my doctors and asked them to sign me off until I was safe to return to work. And the shock was the next day I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant!

lljkk · 01/06/2013 19:21

the lady was ignorant, I wouldn't condemn her, it's annoying for OP but the shingles-sufferer just had no idea. Shingle's not that common a condition.

I'm sure you'll be fine, OP,and the baby. But phone the MW & talk thru your worries, they probably can do something to make sure all is fine.

Benby · 01/06/2013 20:01

Hi you actually have to be in contact with the fluid of the shingles rash to contract chicken pox from it. My mam got it when my dd2 was 2 weeks old and she had been minding her at night time as I was recovering from a bad section and she was helping me out. Dd1 was only 18 months and no one else in the house caught chicken pox from it.
I think you will be fine if you got blood taken at the start of your pregnancy that will tell you if you had chicken pox or not.

Birdsgottafly · 01/06/2013 21:07

I get singles regulary, you do need to touch the shingle scabs, whilst they are still weeping and open.

If she does return to work, then she needs to keep her hands off her scabs and regulary wash them, just in case.

There are treatments that you can take in pregnancy that treats the shingle virus, if you are concerned then take Monday off and see your GP.

The work collegue doesn't have to have time off, unless she works in a "contact" environment eg health care, food preparation etc.

Lots of things can be transfered this way and tbh, you shouldn't be so "hands on" during pregnancy, if others are complaining about being ill.

Original poster
picklepen · 01/06/2013 22:01

Thanks for all the advice, and I'm calmer now...

I'm going to find out my immunity levels on Monday. I didn't actually touch any of the weepy bits.

OP posts:
Original poster
picklepen · 01/06/2013 22:03

Birdsgottafly She didn't say she was ill- just asked me to look at the bump on her head. She said she felt rotten once I'd touched it.

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 01/06/2013 22:16

OP, sorry if I'm stating the obvious, but have you been able to ask your Mum or Dad if they remember whether you have had chicken pox or not? It's good that you are getting tested on Monday, but if one of your parents remembers then that might help put your mind at rest.

Without wanting to take the thread off on a tangent, it does raise the question of whose responsibility it is to stay away from work in a situation like this. Is it the responsibility of the pregnant person to protect their pregnancy, or is it the person who has shingles that should stay away? It's even more difficult in a situation where employees aren't entitled to sick pay. I'm not sure what I think tbh.