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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect the ground to swallow me up at a time like this

62 replies

iccarus · 01/06/2013 00:00

Lovely sunny day today wasn't it? Maybe good to go the park you think? I thought so anyway, trundled along with ds1 (2.8) and ds2 (4months) we had been there 20 mins when ds1 had a paddy over playing bat n ball. I settled down to feed ds2 who had also started screaming, we were already getting some looks at this point. Ds1 then ran off while i was busy feeding i shouted for him to come bk, cue more looks. He does start to run bk but a few yards away he stops, pulls down pants and trousers and announces he is having a wee. then he squats down and shouts i need a poo too mummy. I scream noooo ds1, hastily put baby down on the rug and leg it towards him boob out. By the time i get to him he is halfway through. Ds2 is busy screaming after being unceremoniously dumped in the middle of dinner. For some reason i have no wipes in the change bag except for one, half dry already mucky from wiping his chocolate face earlier. I do my best to clean him up, put the now filthy wipe in a pocket of my bag [grim] and make the sharpest exit possible, leaving the offending poo behind with two nearby families staring in disgust and horror. Why did ground not open up and swallow me???? Anyone else any horror stories to tell, this one will stick with me for a while

OP posts:

GobTheGoblin · 01/06/2013 09:22

You left the poo there! That is disgusting.

YABU

DumSpiroSpero · 01/06/2013 09:32

Is it wrong that I am slightly looking forward to this kind of thing happening to my friend who is expecting her first in September?

I am thrilled for her as it's taken a while, but she is a little clueless smug.

WandaTheWalrus · 01/06/2013 09:36

I would have tried to borrow a nappy bg or something to pick up the poo, that's grim.

SmellsLikeWeenSpirits · 01/06/2013 09:38

I'm not one to kick someone when she is down but seriously, I would NEVER EVER contemplate leaving the poo there. That's truly unreasonable. I would've used ds's pants or anything really to pick it up and bin it.

HollyBerryBush · 01/06/2013 09:48

Can you imagine if you let your dog shit in public and you walked away?

TBH OP, leaving a steaming turd there is gross.

tass1960 · 01/06/2013 10:04

When my now 21 year old was small (maybe 3) we were on holiday in Cornwall and at a beach in Hale - he was on his dad's shoulders and suddenly announced he had a sore tummy - he shat all down his dad's shoulders and back ...

JumpingJackSprat · 01/06/2013 10:05

Wtf was she meant to do with it?!? What would you holier than thou types have done with it? Im dying to hear... would you have scooped it into your handbag with your bare hands? Doubt it.

Original poster

iccarus · 01/06/2013 10:05

I know i know, it was bad. I couldn't get my head round what to do with it at the time, think it was ds2 screaming for boob that was messing with my brain. I couldn't see any bins. Ds1s pants would have been best option smellslikeweenspirit, don't know why i didn't think of that.

OP posts:

thompson369 · 01/06/2013 10:11

I took DD swimming a while back, I think she was perhaps about 2. She decided to poo I'm the shower but did it just as I was washing my hair so didn't see it until too late. I was horrified and panicked, so was basically trying to squish it through the metal grill into the waste water tray, was stuck between my toes, just utterly utterly gross!

Fairydogmother · 01/06/2013 10:15

I think panic can account for a lot of odd decisions!

I'm expecting my first DS in November so I have all this to look forward to! And I thought my dogs could embarrass me...

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 01/06/2013 10:24

iccarus you've just answered your own question - re why you didn't think of it.Sceaming baby, completely unexpected and mortifying situation, panic, get the hell out of there. I wouldn't have thought to use pants. Maybe not ideal, but completely understandable I would have thought.

Made me smile, anyway.

yaimee · 01/06/2013 10:36

Completely agree with jesus
I would have been the same, flustered and panicking! Common sense goes out of the window!
Shit happens :)

Idocrazythings · 01/06/2013 10:39

FGS leave poor OP alone. What a horrible situation she was in. We can't all be perfect all the time. I think the two staring families should be the ones ashamed of themselves-why couldn't they have offered to help her instead of giving her the cats bum face.

ScarletLady02 · 01/06/2013 10:46

I agree with Idocrazythings...if it was me seeing that, I would definitely have tried to help.

Poor you OP, at least you've given us all a giggle though

glenthebattleostrich · 01/06/2013 10:59

DD got toilet training really quickly, literally 3 accidents in 2 weeks. Feeling very smug and like mummy of the year we went for a day out with friends at a local zoo which has a soft play area too. Took DD to the toilet where she did a little wee and then let her loose on the soft play. She yelled from the top of a slide that she needed poo now mummy so I told her to come down and I'd take her to the toilet. She poo'd as she came down - a huge steaming brown streak from the top to the bottom with a little pile of shit at the bottom too. I honestly didn't know my little 2 year old could produce so much. Cleaned that up and left very quickly.

Unfortunately this introduced DD to the wonders of a 'wild poo' and she refused to go on the toilet for several weeks after that - they had to be outdoors. Got very good at getting her to poo in a nappy sack!

ScarletLady02 · 01/06/2013 11:02

Oh glen.....I'd have been mortified!

dayshiftdoris · 01/06/2013 11:19

My son, on a Saturday in a packed shopping centre grabbed the lead on a Guide Dog shaped donation collection thing and shouted 'Look Mum I'm blind'

Mortified I gently told him that what he was saying was offensive (he was 6/7 at the time!) but said, as he wasn't getting it 'What if a blind person saw you doing that?'

I ended up giggling, son thought I was laughing at him and promptly had a very loud meltdown... Talk about draw attention to yourself

Oh and he touched cloth half way a slide and ran off clutching and saying 'Mummm' in a very strangled voice.

(He does having ASD so some of the events are a bit considering his age - just makes life so exciting... Never know what he'll do next!)

SplashOfMilk · 01/06/2013 11:38

Another embarrassing tale here. When DD was 9 months old we were on holiday in Lisbon. One day we went for a meal at an amazing Brazilian restaurant on the other side of the river. Now DD wasn't a big eater, it was boiling and so she'd bfed for much of the day. Perhaps a little too much...she projectile vomited all over the floor beside me. Luckily we were outside and it wasn't too busy so not totally mortified. Until some opportunistic local moggies came along and ate the big pile of sick all up. We brazened it out and ignored them while finishing our delicious meal (DD was fine by this point)...

HandMini · 01/06/2013 11:49

Although I think the OP did the wrong thing in leaving the poo, esp at a child's okay ground, I can imagine myself doing the same thing in a moment of fluster. I have two DDs (both currently under 2) and have had some pretty moments in public involving nappy changes, naked boobs in people's faces, screaming DDs. I'm glad I've read this because I have no doubt this will happen to me in the next few months as we embark on potty training, and I will think to use DDs pants to pick up the offending log!

HollyBerryBush · 01/06/2013 11:52

What would you holier than thou types have done with it?

Gazed across at another family - the ones looking at me in horror - and explained my predicament and asked if they had spare tissues/nappy sack and picked the steaming shit up - not left it where other families are out, for their children to roll in. Or is only dog shit offensive?

HandMini · 01/06/2013 11:54

I would have got a wipe / piece of newspaper off someone else, and at the very least flicked it into the hedge / out if the way. Ideally would have got a nappy bag / large piece of newspaper and taken it home.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 01/06/2013 12:05

Oh OP, DS1 did something very similar to me a few years back. Gorgeous day, went to the park, lovely, HUGE park, no public toilets (what happened to these?) and he decided he needed a wee. I was feeding DS2 so I said go behind a tree. So he did, whipped his shorts down, squatted and started having a poo. It was all over him and his shorts. Best part was he pulled his shorts and pants back up before I could get to him, so then it was all up his back and his t-shirt too!

I honestly don't recall whether I cleaned up (I think I did - I would have had LOTS of wipes with me) but distinctly remember going to Boots and buying new t-shirt and shorts (thank God they had a sale on!). And the play area was packed, so we had a huge audience.

Happy days!

suckmabigtoe · 01/06/2013 12:12

apparently OP there is this new 'dare' trend emerging where people get filmed taking a poo somewhere in public but they have to not get caught out- maybe your ds was carrying out a dare?

you have my utmost sympathy- i probably would have frozen in complete shock and embrassment and denied all knowledge of the child

CharlieBlanche · 01/06/2013 12:14

OP buy a Potette. Best things ever.

I didn't leave the house without mine for years. Fits under buggy or in baby bag fine.

I bet you'll never leave the house without a well stocked bag again ever

CharlieBlanche · 01/06/2013 12:17

There is something about vast quantities of inappropriately produced poo that just freezes the brain.

Someone should do research...

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