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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with dh at the pub???

34 replies

MarilynMoanroe · 31/05/2013 21:07

Dh not been in touch this eve, which he usually texts me with what train he is on.

Finally I got a text to say he has worked late and now having a beer with the "big boss".

So that's Friday night written off. I was looking forward to spending time with him.

Aibu?

OP posts:
mynewpassion · 31/05/2013 21:11

Tbh, on the face of it, yabu

Salmotrutta · 31/05/2013 21:12

Does he do this regularly?

If not, then what's the problem?

Do you both have tomorrow off?

If you do then what's the problem?

Can't you do something tomorrow instead?

Salmotrutta · 31/05/2013 21:13

Oh, and you have three threads to check.

Just sayin'...

suckmabigtoe · 31/05/2013 21:14

what is it that you think is the problem?

LaGuardia · 31/05/2013 21:15

You could spend the time alone getting over yourself.

Shakey1500 · 31/05/2013 21:15

Oh. I thought I'd posted on this Confused

Original poster
MarilynMoanroe · 31/05/2013 21:17

Stupid phone! Can I merge them?

I'm new to mn. And yes he does this a lot, so I'll have to run him to the station in the morning to collect his car.

OP posts:
bedmonster · 31/05/2013 21:17

Erm, yabu to not give us any more details. Do you have kids to deal with? Are you seeing him over the weekend? Does he do this a lot? Do you take turn in dealing with the DC in the mornings (if you have them and if you are not working)? etc etc.
In the meantime, pour yourself a glass of something nice, put on your favourite music and take a chill pill woman.

IsThatTrue · 31/05/2013 21:19

YABU in most industries I know if the big boss invites you fit a drink you say yes.

Jeez DH had to do this a few years ago with bil. Turned up to meet bil who was unexpectedly accompanied by big boss man. Big boss man bought DH a drink, bil had a look on his face of 'you will drink it and like it', DH is t-total but did what was needed.

Your DH prob isn't even enjoying his drink.

suckmabigtoe · 31/05/2013 21:21

what do you mean by 'alot'? every week? once a month?

Original poster
MarilynMoanroe · 31/05/2013 21:25

It depends who he goes drinking with. But he has many nights out with work and with friends and doesn't always come home.

We didn't have any plans made, but I guess I'm just being sulky as I was hoping he'd be home on time for once.

OP posts:
Original poster
MarilynMoanroe · 31/05/2013 21:27

He was out last weekend, he is out next Thursday and staying in london. He does this at least twice a month with work.

OP posts:
LittleMissLucy · 31/05/2013 21:28

Are you worried he is seeing someone else?

suckmabigtoe · 31/05/2013 21:29

dont you ever go out OP?

are there dcs to care for in the morning?

LEMisdisappointed · 31/05/2013 21:33

People think YABU because your DH just decides not to come home from work then condescends to leave a text - fuck that!

Original poster
MarilynMoanroe · 31/05/2013 21:33

No, I'm not worried he is seeing someone else.

Thanks for the replies. I guess I'll have to just face up to the fact that I'm unreasonable and I need to get a grip.

OP posts:
LittleMissLucy · 31/05/2013 21:34

I don't think you're totally unreasonable tbh. Its Friday night and a lot of posters are fired up on something (booze?) and more likely to jump all over you.

emsyj · 31/05/2013 21:34

I would be very cross if DH went out drinking and didn't come home, if he hadn't planned in advance not to come home (obviously it's different if it's arranged beforehand). I imagine he would be the same with me.

Salmotrutta · 31/05/2013 21:36

Does he come home rolling drunk or is it just a pint or two?

So, it works out at about once a fortnight, yes?

If he gets rat-arsed then YANBu but if its just a pint or two then YABU.

Viviennemary · 31/05/2013 21:45

If it's just now and again and you didn't have anything planned I'd think it was fine. But if it's a regular thing and staying out all night I might get suspicious.

Original poster
MarilynMoanroe · 31/05/2013 21:45

We have 3 dc, and I think I've found half term week rather draining. I have some health issues and think I'm anaemic, as I've been really tired and feeling run down.

I don't go out as much as he does, as I don't have many friends.

We've had problems in the past due to him drinking too much on occasions. I get a little apprehensive as I'm never sure whether its going to be another one of those nights when he either doesn't come home or ends up throwing up when he does roll in.

OP posts:
KittensoftPuppydog · 31/05/2013 21:46

It's just polite to let people know in advance, so that they can arrange to do something else.

LEMisdisappointed · 31/05/2013 21:48

YAsoNBU I cannot believe the posters here - what is she supposed to do, sit at home like the little woman and be grateful when he condescends to come home pissed up after his night with the "big boss"

suckmabigtoe · 31/05/2013 21:51

dripfeed!

MissStrawberry · 31/05/2013 21:52

You don't have to run him to the station to get his car. He can take the bus or get a taxi.

As you are new I will try and give you a heads up. You will get a better response if you post all relevant info in the OP.