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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or is this woman a bit weird?

60 replies

ScarletLady02 · 31/05/2013 19:41

OK...this is probably going to sound really petty, but me and DH want to know if this woman is being odd, or if we're reading too much into it. This is quite long...I've tried to include all I can think of.

DH takes our dog for a walk over a local field every morning. As I'm sure most dog walkers know, if you go to the same place every day, you get to know the other people who do the same. He's become quite friendly with some of them, but this one woman is behaving rather strangely.

First of all, he really liked her. They got on well and had a laugh, passed small talk to kill a bit of time in the mornings. He mentioned about me and my hair adventures and she was really interested to get some tips on how to do her own (I make dread extensions etc). So I let her friend me on Facebook (stupid I know).

Anyway as time went on, he chatted to more and more people. We moved back to my home-town so DH didn't really know anyone, and we both liked the fact he now had a few people to talk to etc. However, this woman (I'll call her Gill) started to act really weird when he talked to other people, especially women. She'd storm off in a huff, or make stupid jokes saying things like "hahaaa you don't need ME any more now do you, you talk to this person and that person". She's got a long term boyfriend so he just put it down to her being a bit highly strung.

A lot of the people over the park have exchanged numbers, including DH and this woman (it happened before she started being odd). The exchanged the odd friend type text (he always shows me them), usually nothing more than a "You going to the park today? Maybe see you there" type stuff. But recently she's been texting him a lot. She even texted him while we were on holiday recently, and she knew we were away. Some of the texts are a bit odd..."Are you OK?" just out of nowhere for no reason. Not blatantly odd...but just not in context and for no reason. She often seems really put out if she doesn't get his attention, or if he talks to other people. She's say things like "ooh you and X are getting along really well...I think she fancies you!" "Are you sure nothing's happened between you and X" etc Just quite inappropriate really

The weirdest thing though, is the hair...this is where it may sound petty. She wanted to make and install some dreads, so she asked me a load of advice, I was happy to oblige. She gave it a go and put dreads in. Seemed very interested in what DH though, but we just put it down to him having experience and knowing what mine were like...but now she's moving to the realms of really copying me. Then She commented on my shaved bits (HEAD bits...minds out of the gutter ladies). She then shaved the side of her head, just like mine...then she bleached it and cut if short...just like mine...then she started talking about dying it blue...just like mine.

It's just getting weird now. DH has changed the time he's been going to the park to avoid her, and has been ignoring her texts. It's all gone quiet for a while, but is it just us, or is she being weird? Even all his other "dog-walker" friends have been ribbing him a bit and calling her his "stalker"

I worry I'm reading too much into it...sorry that sounds really silly written down. I trust DH implicitly...I just wanted to know if anyone would be a bit weirded out.

OP posts:
ScarletLady02 · 31/05/2013 20:10

I've just uploaded the mock shaved head pic...it looks pretty extreme Grin

Thanks for all the responses...I try really hard to see the good in people mostly, so kept excusing her behaviour...but it seems she's just a bit doolally!

OP posts:
PenguinBear · 31/05/2013 20:10

She definitely sounds like she fancies him. Wonder if she'll now copy what she thinks is your new style!!

EleanorHandbasket · 31/05/2013 20:11

She's a freak.

You, on the other hand, have the hair I would have in another life.

Envy

much much envy.

ScarletLady02 · 31/05/2013 20:11

I don't know...according to her he's a bit of a douche...but obviously we only have her word for this (I have met and chatted to her, I think I've met all the dog-walking crew).

OP posts:
SisterMatic · 31/05/2013 20:14

No advice but your hair sounds brilliant. I want to shave part of mine but I am too scared not stalking you honest

Elquota · 31/05/2013 20:19

Wear a blue and pink wig. She dyes her hair blue and pink. You take the wig off Grin

WafflyVersatile · 31/05/2013 20:20

Have the other dog walkers noticed or said anything? Are they friends with her too?

You might want to remove her from your facebook friends too. that's still feeding her obsession.

Give her a chance to shave her hair all off first, of course!

ScarletLady02 · 31/05/2013 20:20

Start small SisterMatic - although it does become addictive. I started with a two inch undercut and now have more shaved bit than hair! If you do it properly, you can part your hair on the other side to hide it if you want. I can't do that quite as well now as it's too short but the style I had before was totally hideable (if that's a word).

OP posts:
ScarletLady02 · 31/05/2013 20:23

Waffly - they take the piss and wind DH up about it, so yes they have noticed. They mostly think she's weird as well. It was all one big happy group of friends but her behaviour is making everyone uncomfortable.

One day apparently she asked one of the women "Have you seen insert DH's name??". She said "No not for a few days. Gill replied with "Oh well I see him all the time!" and flounced off!!!

OP posts:
runningforme · 31/05/2013 20:27

I like Tolliver's suggestion Smile

Definitely a weirdo. Avoid.

KittensoftPuppydog · 31/05/2013 20:28

I was going to say that there's nothing wrong with being weird, but she's creepy.

ChasingDogs · 31/05/2013 20:29

Ah, she sees your DH as an upgrade then I would say. Her fella might not actually be a douche. He might live in complete terror of her (I fucking would). But either way, she's decided your bloke is better

Love your hair! I've never had the patience to form dreads (or patience with hair at all) so tend to get a no.4 all over once it begins to annoy me and then pick a colour at random. Laziness personified!

You need to do a photoshop job with a no. 1 all over before deleting her from FB I reckon. And maybe a tattoo in a really painful area. I vote for the shin.

Bluebell99 · 31/05/2013 20:37

Love the hair. You're really pretty :)

chandellina · 31/05/2013 20:39

It's really freaky, she's copied something that you probably rightfully feel is a big part of your identity, not a passing fad that lots of people might give a go. That would really unnerve me. Avoidance is definitely the best first step, and the police if she keeps hassling your husband.

LittleMissLucy · 31/05/2013 20:45

The stalky dog-walky lady sounds deeply sad and troubled.
I think it sounds fairly harmless and expect she'll leave you alone if she's ignored / not seen.
But I would be cautious. I had a stalker, years ago and the advice I was given was to not make ANY contact whatsoever because when their adoration turns to hatred, that's when your'e really in trouble.
Avoid avoid avoid would be my advice.

toffeelolly · 31/05/2013 20:48

What a nutter.

RhinoSaturday · 31/05/2013 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmberSocks · 31/05/2013 21:07

How do you know all of this?is it just what dh has told you?sorry just wondering...

quesadilla · 31/05/2013 21:10

No, you're not being weird, she certainly has at least a crush on your DH and possibly is obsessional about him. And she sounds like she has no boundaries. I'd steer well, well clear and cut off any further contact.

OHforDUCKScake · 31/05/2013 21:15

Noooooo!

Scarlet, it was weird before it got to the hair bit ffs, then it all got scary!!!

What a weirdo. God, what happened to her for her to become like that? I feel sorry for her.

But I feel sorry for you and DH more.

rainbowfeet · 31/05/2013 21:23

No, I think you are right to be concerned & even alarmed!!! Shock This is not normal behavior at all. All her actions point to her being besotted with your other half & I think a total cut off from her would be the best thing to do!

chillinwithmyyonis · 31/05/2013 22:10

Wow, what a story! I love your hair BTW, amazing.

Someone on here, with knowledge of stalker situations, said if they text you - reply with a text saying 'I do not wish to engage with you any further, please do not contact me again'. Apparently, if you set this boundary then any further attempts she makes to contact your dh could be seen as harassment by the police, if you needed to go down that route.

ScarletLady02 · 01/06/2013 00:17

Ambersocks - it's what my DH has told me, backed up by the texts I've seen, photos I've seen of her hair on Facebook, and I've spoken to other "dog walkers" who have witnessed the behaviour. I have no reason to think DH is making it up if that's what you might be thinking.

OP posts:
VikkiiKawaii · 01/06/2013 09:52

Woah that's all a little bit strange :S

I would be avoiding her that's for sure!

AnneNonimous · 01/06/2013 10:00

Love your hair!! And you're gorgeous! (Not a stalker I swear)

This woman is bonkers.

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