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AIBU?

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Original poster

...to give DD the 'Master' bedroom?

78 replies

LtEveDallas · 31/05/2013 08:06

Been house hunting for a while and last weekend have found two possibilities that tick most of our boxes. One we could pretty much move in tomorrow, one would need quite a bit of fiddling with.

In both cases DH and I have said we would give DD the 'Master' bedroom with en-suite. The first house has 3 very good sized doubles and the master is pretty huge, the second has smaller doubles, one of which we would extend into the garage to make a better sized room for us whilst DD has the (current) master.

To a man, everyone we have talked to about it has exclaimed their horror that we would give up the 'master' for DD Confused. Comments range from 'it would be too big for her' to 'why would you give up an en suite' and a couple of 'too big for her boots' 'spoiling her' and 'rod for your own back' stuff.

I don't get it. I don't like en suites, wouldn't use one and DH couldn't care either way. I think DD would get more use out of a bigger bedroom, especially as she grows up (she's 8 now).

Have I broken some unwritten rule? What's the issue I must be missing? Even family are muttering and sneering about it.

OP posts:
Fraggle3112 · 31/05/2013 09:56

When I was about 15 my mum a dad looked at a house which had a granny flat adjoined. If they had bought it I was going in the flat! It didn't have a seperate entrance or anything so it was basically like two medium bedroom and a bathroom where the garage would have been. It meant I had my own space for friends etc and I was out the way! In the end they never bought the house but I have always thought it was a brilliant idea particularly for teenagers!

Original poster
LtEveDallas · 31/05/2013 10:03

I think if you just gave her the room without comment rather than kept talking about it, you wouldn't have this problem

Was this comment meant to sound as snippy as it does?

We are talking to friends and family who are interested in us buying our forever/first home. People who are always asking how the house-hunting is going. We show them the houses we are interested in and talk about how we will reconfigure etc. Surprised this is an issue TBH.

OP posts:
fedupwithdeployment · 31/05/2013 10:11

Slightly different, but we are talking about getting our loft converted - will be a big room with small ensuite...this isn't for me and DH - we love our room and the main bathroom is really our ensuite, so don't want to move up. This will be mainly a playroom for the boys (6 and 8), and an occasional spare room for guests (sofa bed). it is a bit decadent, but I want them to keep their toys upstairs (they are quite good at this) and have somewhere they can leave train sets / scaletrix set up...and the fact that they will be at the other end of the house, is a good thing!

BoundandRebound · 31/05/2013 10:24

I must be old I find it odd

Fairylea · 31/05/2013 10:26

Our dd has the largest bedroom :)

She has far more stuff than we ever need in ours!

GoblinGranny · 31/05/2013 10:32

Old-fashioned maybe Bound? Smile

Original poster
LtEveDallas · 31/05/2013 10:48

Fedup, that's part of the appeal TBH. We'd been looking for a home that has a room we could turn into a playroom, but if we buy the first place not only do we get rid of that idea, there is scope to turn the currently unused and unboarded second dormer space into a play room/teen hang out.

Bound, the whole process is making me older by the second!

OP posts:
VenusUprising · 31/05/2013 10:51

We did this. Dd is happy in a massive room, whilst I prefer a smaller, cave like room with no bathroom.

TapselteerieO · 31/05/2013 11:03

Dh and I have the smallest bedroom, it is tiny, in our house dc have the larger and nicer bedrooms, our eldest has the biggest room.

We only sleep in our bedroom, our dc play in their rooms, use them for toys and have friends in their bedrooms for sleepovers and visits. It makes sense that they have the bigger rooms.

neunundneunzigluftballons · 31/05/2013 11:51

Our 2 daughters share the master bedroom. It made sense when they were sharing to give them a decent sized room. The loo is handy when their friends are around too.

thebody · 31/05/2013 11:54

Seems perfectly sensible to me. What odd and nosy judgemental friends you have.

Tell them to mind their beaks.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 31/05/2013 11:55

I LOVE my ensuite. I didn't think I'd care, but it's actually fantastic. I will never live without one again.

So I'd take the master so I could have the ensuite and extend into the garage for your daughter. She'll no doubt want to redecorate anyway.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 31/05/2013 11:55

I think it is entirely up to you, and if you are happy with it, then to hell with what anyone else thinks.

I personally wouldn't do this - because I like having an en suite bathroom, and I am a selfish mare.

Original poster
LtEveDallas · 31/05/2013 11:59

I would thebody, but unfortunately some are my immediate family - which is why I suppose I have asked the question. If it was just friends I'd not have cared, but when my mother and sisters all said the same thing I wondered if I was being strange Smile

OP posts:
mamachelle · 31/05/2013 11:59

we have had the smallest room in the house since the youngest now 4 needed her own room and our older girls nearly 9 and 8 have always had the largest.

Regardless of ensuites (although id personally keep it locked with my two in there as they tend to spur eachother on and create havoc) you need to do what is best for your family.

As already mentioned, adults sleep in their rooms, children have a whole world of toys/trinkets/junk and spend time in there with friends.

KurriKurri · 31/05/2013 12:00

Your house - you do whatever you like. Actually I think children need more space than adult - they keep all their 'stuff' in their rooms. If you are anything like us, we use our bedroom as a place for our bed and wardrobes, our hobby and interest stuff is in other rooms. CHuldren have to keep it all in one place.

Also it will be brilliant when she starts having loads of friends over for sleep overs, - you can shut them all in there and they won't be wandering around all night occupying your bathroom Grin

freddiefrog · 31/05/2013 12:01

My DDs have the master room, they share and as it's absolutely massive, with lots of built in storage cupboards, it makes more sense for them to have the bigger room.

It has an ensuite bathroom but it's a shower over the bath, the main bathroom has a proper stand alone shower cubicle. My girls prefer baths so the ensuite is theirs and DH and I use the proper shower in the main bathroom

We're in the 2nd room, which really isn't that much smaller than the master bedroom

We had a few comments about the kids being in the master bedroom, but it makes more sense for us, works well and everyone is happy.

GoblinGranny · 31/05/2013 12:02

It also means you get to say 'take all that into your room please' rather than having the floor covered in lego or whatnot.
Or sprawling and squabblesome teenagers.

Original poster
LtEveDallas · 31/05/2013 12:04

See I have 'issues' around having an en suite. My problem entirely, but I just couldnt use a loo that opens into my bedroom Blush so it would be wasted on me. Entirely my own weird and wonderful problem though Grin.

In the first house the family bathroom has a wonderful double power shower extra jets thing, so I'd want that all to myself!

OP posts:
BoundandRebound · 31/05/2013 12:10

I have the largest bedroom plus a bathroom and a dressing room. It's my sanctuary.

Kids have smaller bedrooms, share a bathroom and also have use of the dining room which is really where the xbox is and the piano and is a sort of games room / den. They dont use it cos they hang out in the living room taking control of my TV to watch interminable amounts of the Simpsons, Big Bang theory and dr who

My children are smaller than me and don't pay for anything so they get what they're given - but they're bloody lucky to have a room each that is big enough for all their stuff

BoundandRebound · 31/05/2013 12:11

My bathroom and dressing room is on a half landing to the bedroom so I think you'd like my set up more

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 31/05/2013 12:13

I know what you mean, LtEve. I like having the en suite because it makes life easier when I have to get up to wee in the night. But the bathroom door MUST remain shut unless someone is on their way in or out - otherwise, as far as I am concerned, the loo is actually in the bedroom, and that is gross. Dh used to use the loo without shutting the door, and thought I was being very fussy when I objected, and insisted he shut the door. And he used to leave the door open afterwards, allowing smells to come into the bedroom.

Luckily I have managed to retrain him, otherwise death or ltb would be the only options.

Have I sold you on en suites yet?? Grin

DontmindifIdo · 31/05/2013 12:14

LtEveDallas - DH is the same, he doesn't like the concept of using the loo in an en suite. Whenever we play "property porn" when trying to decide how we'd spend our money if we won the lottery, then the ideal is either no en suite or an en suite that's reached via a separate dressing room...

Only issue is, normally storage could be an issue, in a lot of houses, the master is the one bedroom that has enough fitted storage for 2 lots of adult stuff.

Wouldntyouliketoknow · 31/05/2013 12:14

Unless you have a playroom or somewhere else in the house for the kids to play/entertain friends then I think it's logical that they have a decent-sized room.

I had a bigger room than my parents as a child, but we then swapped over when I moved out to uni.

kelda · 31/05/2013 12:14

It really isn't anyone else's business but we have had unwanted comments from someone who was visiting and happened to see the bedroom arrangements.

I'm not at all bothered by dd2 having the master bedroom . Dd1's bedroom is also very big. I'm just grateful that all of my children can have their own room, and that will always be there for them, however old they are.

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