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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you be pissed off if your friend did this?

56 replies

Sixparrotspullingupcarrots · 30/05/2013 19:11

Please be nice to me, I'm already feeling Sad

Friends A, B and I are really good friends from uni. They were bridesmaids at my wedding. I live 30mins bus ride away from A, B lives 2hrs away. So A and I meet up every 3/4 weeks and she's usually very reliable and I've never had 'beef' with her before.

A few weeks ago A said she wanted to meet up with me on a Saturday. I was busy in the day but it was something she could join in with and we thought it would be nice if we invited B along to watch eurovision with us in the evening. So we asked B but she's really busy so couldn't come. I assumed the plans still stood for A and I.

So then a few days before we were due to meet up I asked her what the details were, she couldn't come now because her new boyf was taking her out early for a day trip on the Sunday. I said they could both come and stay at mine if they wanted. They didn't want. Obviously I thought the plans were more set in stone than she did.

So eurovision comes and goes, later that week A texts and says we must meet up, she hasn't seen me in ages. I ignored the text because I was still a bit hurt but thought Iwbu so didn't want to be rude.

Today I recieved another text from her. 'Are you free tomorrow morning?'. I sensed that maybe some other plans had fallen through as she's usually more organised. I said 'I'm free between 9 and 11 but I doubt that's very useful to you' (she's not an early riser). She replied and said 'No, but we haven't spoken in ages, how about we have a phone call in that slot?'. I have a toddling baby so a long phone call at that time isn't really going to work if she actually wants a heart to heart (she hasn't got any kids so might not realise).

Having written all that down it does seem a bit trivial but I just feel that if she so desperately wants to see me she'll ring me before half term and book a date with me or get out of bed to see me. Sad

OP posts:
LittleMissLucy · 31/05/2013 00:16

Oh MidnithScribbler you sound like my over-grown teenage but actually mid-30's BIL. He was always going on about babysitters when I had a newborn. Wait til you have children.

MidniteScribbler · 31/05/2013 00:22

And you sound like some of my students that don't bother reading properly.

I do have a young child, and I still manage to make an effort for my friends at times. Yes it may mean asking relatives for a favour, paying for a babysitter, or missing out on some things, but I don't expect my childless friends to spend every saturday night in my kitchen because my baby likes to fall asleep at 7pm. People who expect the entire world to revolve around the fact that they procreated are boring and then wonder why their friends are drifting away.

LittleMissLucy · 31/05/2013 00:27

I see. Well I think it must be hard if you still want a Saturday night social life while also being a parent.

I retract my rude tone (if that's possible).

I don't have any desire to go out ever. Done it to death and ready for sleep.

MidniteScribbler · 31/05/2013 00:30

I think that getting past the wanting to go anywhere but under the doona is harder than actually getting a babysitter!

Monty27 · 31/05/2013 00:42

Hmmm, Eurovision night in or night out with others? Be kind to the childless?

MadameDefarge · 31/05/2013 00:44

Or, honour vague date with mate or have hot sex with new man?

Sorry, most of my mates would have been a bit disappointed but totally supportive of the hot sex option.

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