I let DD (9) and friend go to the shop alone

[Mrschocolate]

DD (9 tomorrow) has a friend round for a sleepover who is 10 in September.
They wanted to go to the shop to get sweets before BGT and I said yes gave them money and let them go.
The shop is about 3 minutes away if that and there is one road to cross however there are traffic lights right outside the shop. Her friend had a mobile which has our home number on it.
Also I can see the route to the shop from my bedroom window DD knows this so she wouldn't be tempted to mess around though I don't think she would anyway because her and her friend are both very sensible.
They went and came back within 10 minutes and they were quite happy.

SIL called as they came through the door and I told her where they had been and she went mad saying that they could of died and I was irresponsible. So AIBU? Does anyone have DCs of a similar age and would they let them go to the shop etc

YANBU

I have a DS of similar age and would happily let him do the same.

Oh yes and DDs friend goes to the shop alone a lot and they live further away from it than us so I assumed it would be okay for her to go.

Nope, your SIL is being overprotective. You assessed the situation, you know your DD and her friend and you made a judgement. We risk raising a generation of children who can't handle independence if we don't start letting them spread their wings a bit at a time as they get older.

I guess it depends where you live. We are very rural so yes I would let the dc walk to the Neighbours or play out in the fields/stream but if I lived in a busy city I wouldn't be keen. You just don't know who is about and the news proves this point.
Having said that I dont know what age I would let them. I was probably 11 or 12 before I was allowed to walk to school alone or go into town.
So secondary school age I think is when i would let mine if we lived in town.

Yanbu. Ds did similar at this age. He is very sensible and has helped with his confidence.

YaNbU. Mine are 15 and 18 now but were able to go to the sweet shop alone from about 8 with one quietish road to cross. But then mine were happy to stay home alone for 10-20 mins while I picked up the other or popped to the shop. I'm pretty sure that by the time dd was 8 she was happy to be left while I did the full supermarket shope or met a friend for lunch locally. DS went from London to the Isle of Wight at 13!

my twins are 8. They have been going to the shop together and alone for over a year. Sometimes I leave them home alone together while I nip to the shop. They are very sensible and happy with the arrangement. Exp (who is a massive dick) was unhappy. He decided to refer me to social services. They had an obligation to investigate, and were told by me that yes, I do this, and will continue to thank you very much. They agreed it was perfectly acceptable as part of healthy development of my childrens independance

independence

When DD2 hit 9 it became her job to go and get the paper on a Saturday morning. YANBU

YANBU.

I would let dd (8) walk to school alone as we live a stones throw away but she's not ready yet so I haven't pushed it. It's highly likely DS (6) will be going to the shop alone before she does!

Ignore her totally-some people lose the ability to risk assess.
I hate to think how these overprotected DCs are going to cope once they break free.

Yanbu. Your sil is.

Definitely NBU! I used to go to school on the tube (7 stops) with a friend from age 8, no parental supervision.

YANBU. What the hell does it have to do with your SIL. These are your parenting decisions and it all sounds very well thought out to me. Bet your DD loved it. I have done same for similar age kids.

fine for your dd. Not fine to allow her friend without permission from her parents. That is a parent's decision, not random mum of a mate's decision. I would have been pretty pissed off if someone had done this with my ds. He is dyspraxic and and left and right had little meaning for him then. He's fine now, but you cannot judge what is appropriate for another child in your care on issues like these.

NatashaBee DDs friend already goes to the shop by herself, her mother has told me about this a few times. They live further away from the shop than us.

We live in a smallish village so the roads are pretty quite.

Does your SIL still think of your DD as a 5yo or something? At age 9 they should definitely be doing low risk independent activities if they feel ready for it. How are they to grow up if we keep them wrapped in cotton wool?

I know what you mean Madame. Our Dd started doing the odd little walk on her own at 9 but I probably wouldn't have sent her with another child whose parents I hadn't asked. As you have discovered people's ideas of what is appropriate can be really surprising!

One of my friends allows her Dd to go to the shop about a 5 min walk from her house along a busy road (well, narrow pavement, huge amount of traffic on the road) but when her Dd came over to play recently and I asked her mum she would be ok with me leaving Dd and her friend (very sensible girls now aged 10 and 11) for 15 mins in our house while I walked the dog round the block she said "absolutely not"! I told her I would be very close, would have my phone that the girls would know my number etc etc but she still said no way! I was really surprised but glad I had asked!

Sorry OP x post. Then yanbu at all obviousy!

Your right I probably should of asked the other mum first. I just thought because her DD goes by herself a lot anyway it would be okay.

YANBU.
We live in a strange world where children may be looking at online pornography (obviously furtively) but not allowed out of the house alone.

I wouldn't have thought anything of this, honestly. Some people are unbelievably neurotic. I don't get it--unless you live somewhere really dangerous.

You think 9 year olds are looking at porn as a matter of course? I do so hope you are wrong.