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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dh has no clue how much things cost. Does yours?

189 replies

Idbeloveandsweetness · 29/05/2013 09:29

I went shopping to tesco last night and as usual spent around £100 for three of us to last us just over a week. Dh can't understand how I'm spending so much but he will only eat brand names products (don't get me started) and good meat and fish.

I gave him a little quiz on the current cost of items in the shops. Here are his answers:

1st class stamp: 25p (60p)
2 pints of milk: 50p (90p)
loaf of bread: 60p (1.20)
2 chicken fillets: 2.00 (5.30)
Six free range eggs: 90p (1.70)
Jar of coffee: 1.00 (2.50)
Washing tablets: 1.00 (4.00)

No wonder he thinks I'm spending a lot! He has no idea! Would your dh / dp know? I think dh may have to do the shopping next week!

OP posts:
worsestershiresauce · 30/05/2013 07:18

Mine has no clue, he thinks basic day to day food should cost pence, but is happy to spend £20 on two items at the local rip off deli. Makes me a bit cross.

seeker · 30/05/2013 07:20

SO WHY DO YOU PUT UP WITH IT???????????

Sorry for shouting, but I hate this competitive "my mans's more useless than yours" stuff.

Khaleese · 30/05/2013 07:23

You need to let him do it. My DH did the food shop when i had DC 2.
His comment "haven't we eaten really lovely food this week, i'm really good at shopping"

My response ...yes but you have spent £250. On food this week. I usually spend £80.

Shop at aldi or lidl your money gies further and switch his brands, you can put his fake cornflakes in the old branded box...see if he notices. he won't

Pollydon · 30/05/2013 07:25

My dh does the shopping now, but only for the last few years, for the 18 odd years before he was clueless with prices . Ds is off to uni this year & so we've taken him shopping with us\ dh the past few weeks to give him an idea of prices\ meal planning etc.

JollyOrangeGiant · 30/05/2013 07:30

See, I couldn't tell you how much a pint of milk costs.

I can tell you that I buy three of the big-ish bottles for £3. Don't know how many pints is in each one though. I have no need to know how much a pint costs. Or a 2 pint bottle. I just need to know how much what we buy costs.

marriedinwhiteagain · 30/05/2013 07:31

My DH doesn't have a clue except that I tell him what I've spent if he's around. He talks about food innflation whilst unpacking if he's about. But he never ever complains about what I have spentm

exoticfruits · 30/05/2013 07:36

I get shouted at on feminist threads but this sort of thread makes me think that I am making the wrong assumptions- I assume that men do supermarket shops- and if they don't they don't shop and they don't cook they eat what they are given, do without, or get their own- clearly not!
Why on earth put up with a useless man? Go away for a week and let him get on with it.

CasperGutman · 30/05/2013 07:40

I do all the shopping around here (Aldi all the way).

I don't see why some posters seem to feel they are being personally criticised if their partner is surprised at how much a shop costs though. After all, things have gone up in price dramatically in the last few years and naturally this will have escaped the attention of anyone who doesn't do the shopping regularly.

Pollydon · 30/05/2013 07:44

That's exactly why we've started ' training up' ds, I do not want to be the mother of someone's dp\dh who is as clueless as some on this thread & I refuse to send him out into the world with him thinking a woman will look after him !

seeker · 30/05/2013 07:46

"Shop at aldi or lidl your money gies further and switch his brands, you can put his fake cornflakes in the old branded box...see if he notices. he won't"

Shockat this-just Shock!

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 30/05/2013 07:49

There's a difference between "wow, hasn't food gone up a lot?" (and frankly that shouldn't have escaped to notice of anyone who's read a newspaper or even bought a sandwich for lunch in the last few years) and the implication of "although this is one of your tasks in our equal household split Hmm, I am going to assume that you are doing it badly and criticise without really knowing anything about it."

Dadthelion · 30/05/2013 07:49

I'm a single Dad, I do all the shopping and have done for about ten years.

I couldn't tell you the price of most things very accurately.

My ex didn't think I would be able to do it properly, I can and did, I can tie my own shoelaces as well.

It's not difficult, it's just getting used to it.

exoticfruits · 30/05/2013 07:58

Just get own brand foods- he isn't 2yrs old!
Tell him what to do if he doesn't like it!

outtolunchagain · 30/05/2013 08:02

My dh probably wouldn't know the answer to all those items but neither does he criticise me, I loathe supermarket shopping and can't see why anyone would do it out of choice.I do shop quite a lot in local shops ,it probably costs a bit more but I class that as my contribution to our town still having a working high street and the village having a farm shop.

I can't see why I should make my dh go shopping though, he hardly sees the children during the week ,leaves before they are up and not back until after 9pm so I would rather he played cricket with ds in the garden than go shopping when I can perfectly well do it during the week as I work part time.

Smudging · 30/05/2013 08:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Facebaffle · 30/05/2013 08:19

My dh wouldn't have a clue about any prices.

I do the shopping because I only work a few hours a week compared to Dh, who regularly does 50+ hours. I also do the shopping as I take my mum to do hers. He isn't useless.

seeker · 30/05/2013 08:20

What I want to know is why these men aren't ashamed of themselves? On what planet is it OK for an adult human being not to be able to look after themselves and their family?

wordfactory · 30/05/2013 08:25

I don't think DH would have a clue!

But then, nor do I Grin.

I think when you do a shoponline you just don't check the rpice. Or at least I don't. Would assume DH wouldn't either. We both know how much a weekly shop comes in at. We both know how much we will spend on a bottle of wine Grin.

outtolunchagain · 30/05/2013 08:28

Why should my dh be ashamed of himself because he doesn't do the weekly shop.I know he could look after us if he had to but there are only so many hours in the week and I tend to shop and cook, he does plenty of other things .

Trills · 30/05/2013 08:28

Clearly you're not being unreasonable* to think something that you have just proved by doing a quiz.

MammaTJ · 30/05/2013 08:28

My DP does the majority of the shopping in this house. I do do a weeks shop at Iceland when we are particularly skint, but he does more than me. He has much more of a clue than I do.

Trills · 30/05/2013 08:30

If you strictly divide chores into "my chores and your chores" and have done so for many years then it's understandable that you will have little idea of the cost or money or time required to carry out the other person's chores (or how to work the machinery involved) - it's something you haven't done for 5+ years.

If you always do the shopping then why would he know what two chicken breasts cost?
If he always does the hoovering then why would you know what all the attachments are for?

Trills · 30/05/2013 08:38

I asked DP, because I think this is a fun game.

1st class stamp: 60-80p (60p)
2 pints of milk: £1.30 (90p) - this is correct for the newsagents, not for the "normal shops"
loaf of bread: £1.50 (1.20) - we get expensive seedy bread
2 chicken fillets: £5.00 (5.30) - "possibly less if it's only 2" - we bought 2 packs for £7 the other day
Six free range eggs: £1.30 (1.70) - first "too low" estimate
Jar of coffee: - we don't have instant, he guessed "a lot" for the ground coffee that we get, said £2.50 then upped to £4.00, correct is between 3 and 4.
Washing tablets: 1.00 (4.00) - complained that this is meaningless depending on brand and size, guessed £5.

DontmindifIdo · 30/05/2013 08:40

Seeker - to be fair, one partner doing the food shop doesn't mean they don't have an equal relationship elsewhere - I've tended to do the food shopping since having DS because I went back to work for 3 days a week and am not expected to do any other work when home, DH works full time, is expected to work at least one day of each weekend and normally has a lot of paperwork to carry on with in the evenings. Plus we have typically had more going into the joint account than coming out of it each month so were rather cushioned from food price rises. It's only in the last few weeks when I've started mat leave for DC2 that I've had to point out how much we are spending each week on food because my money is going to stop going into the joint account, and he'll have to put more in or cut the quality of what we have. (He's gone for putting more money in)

wordfactory · 30/05/2013 08:42

To be honest, if both partners do everyhting then it all becomes highly inefficient.

Partnerships tend to work better when each party has their own responsibilities.

I fully admit that there are parts of our family lives about which I am both clueless and disinterested.