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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this is totally out of order?

47 replies

Smitten1981 · 28/05/2013 15:30

Yesterday I was out all day with friends and recieved a text from my 30-year-old sister asking if she could borrow our vacuum. She's never bought one herself and thinks it's ok to help herself to our one whenever she wants it, which she does at least once a month.

I didn't respond to the message as I'm a bit fed up of her borrowing things constantly and then when I want a favour she flat out says 'no'. Also I wasn't at home.

Anyway, I didn't think anymore about it until I got this text from her this morning:
"Thanks for getting back to me about your hoover. Much appreciated. Very helpful. I had to borrow one from someone else in the end. Really nice when your sister ignores your texts."

I sent one back saying that I was busy yesterday and I'm not sure why she thought it was appropriate to send me a nasty text message when she managed to find another vacuum anyway.

I've had a whole day of texts saying how selfish I am and I'm unsisterly and condescending. I am SO angry. The stress brought on a nosebleed this afternoon as I'm 5 months pregnant. I could really do without it.

Just to get some clarity here, am I the one that's been out of order?

I'm not really sure how best to handle the situation other than ignoring her, which is what i'm trying to do.

OP posts:
hobnobsaremyfavourite · 28/05/2013 15:32

Is your sister 5? Tell her to grow up and sort out her own hoover .

Yearofme · 28/05/2013 15:34

YANBU

Tell her to GTFU and buy her own Hoover, then don't reply to her messages.

Coconutty · 28/05/2013 15:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tee2072 · 28/05/2013 15:35

Don't ignore her. Text her back.

"How nice that you're so rude and entitled and can't buy your own fucking hoover that you stressed out your pregnant sister so much she had a nose bleed, you fucking cow. Grow up."

Or, you know, something with less swearing but just as direct, depending on your style. People can only walk over you if you let them. Stop letting her.

HidingUnderMyDuvet · 28/05/2013 15:36

YANBU - I think your sister sounds ridiculously immature.

But...

I think you could have replied to her at the time saying you were out and so no, she could not help herself to your appliances.

LaurieFairyCake · 28/05/2013 15:37

Of course it's out of order.

Have you tried telling her to fuck off?

shoofly · 28/05/2013 15:37

Tee's answer is perfect. Definately send it!

ReluctantBeing · 28/05/2013 15:37

Tell her to buy her own.

LadyMaiBlossom · 28/05/2013 15:38

I would txt her with "buy your own hover, grow up and stop with the nasty txts its getting close to harrasment"

If she carries on txt "stop txting me its harrassment"
If she carries on "do you want me to contact the police to ask you to stop?"

Its not on that she is nasty to you just because she didnt get her own way.

LadyMaiBlossom · 28/05/2013 15:42

I agree with Tee I think you need to point out her behaviour and that its not acceptable.

WorraLiberty · 28/05/2013 15:42

She's rude and entitled

But if you had the time to read her text, surely you had the time to reply and tell her you were out?

Alisvolatpropiis · 28/05/2013 15:42

Tell her to grow up or fuck off. P.s get your own Hoover.

Original poster
Smitten1981 · 28/05/2013 15:43

Thanks guys, I can't really see how she thinks she is in the right here.

I replied with: "You're unbelievable. you never respond to my texts and berate me for doing the same. You flat out say no when I ask you for a favour then expect to borrow my stuff constantly. It's not really my problem that you don't own a hoover. You need to take a look at your irrational behaviour and grow up."

Of course that opened the floodgates but I've ignored her since, at least you all seem to think the same as me. Makes me feel slightly less bad.

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 28/05/2013 15:46

Good for you smitten. She obviously thinks the world owes her. Next tell her they found the centre of the universe it she isn't it!

Original poster
Smitten1981 · 28/05/2013 15:46

Worra I didn't reply to the original text because the fact that I was out wouldn't have been a valid excuse. Before she has gone to my parents to get my spare key and let herself in and just taken it.

OP posts:
MaybeNotThen · 28/05/2013 15:49

I know what I'd be buying her for her next birthday and Christmas present - all rolled in to one, maybe covering the next few years presents as well

SueDnym · 28/05/2013 15:50

Spend £25 at Argos and BUY her a hoover for her birthday. It'll be a shit hoover, but she'll get the hint.

CorrStagnitto · 28/05/2013 15:51

ok some siblings are a pita, but would it really have killed you to lend her the hoover?

or to have replied saying 'no, im out'

LadyMaiBlossom · 28/05/2013 15:52

Your sister lacks bountries. Good on you for txting back and telling her its not ok.

MrsOakenshield · 28/05/2013 15:52

your sister is completely out of order. BUT, from what I've read on here, adults only behave like this when other adults enable them to do so. Has she been walking all over you (and possibly your parents) for ever? If you are about to start a family of your own, now would be a good time to nip this in the bud, once and for all!

CaptainKirksNipples · 28/05/2013 15:53

How disgusting that she only borrows a Hoover once a month!!

BabsAndTheRu · 28/05/2013 15:54

Agree with all the other posters, also her house must be a bit mingin if she only hovers once a month.

SteamPink · 28/05/2013 15:55

Haha, I thought the same Captain.

SuperStrength · 28/05/2013 15:55

I don't think you were obliged to reply...that's the joy of text, you reply when you want to...
She sound slike my little sister...equally entitled...she thinks the world revolves around her....

Justfornowitwilldo · 28/05/2013 15:58

I would respond to any further texts from her with links like this

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