To think that this is totally out of order?

[Smitten1981]

Yesterday I was out all day with friends and recieved a text from my 30-year-old sister asking if she could borrow our vacuum. She's never bought one herself and thinks it's ok to help herself to our one whenever she wants it, which she does at least once a month.

I didn't respond to the message as I'm a bit fed up of her borrowing things constantly and then when I want a favour she flat out says 'no'. Also I wasn't at home.

Anyway, I didn't think anymore about it until I got this text from her this morning:
"Thanks for getting back to me about your hoover. Much appreciated. Very helpful. I had to borrow one from someone else in the end. Really nice when your sister ignores your texts."

I sent one back saying that I was busy yesterday and I'm not sure why she thought it was appropriate to send me a nasty text message when she managed to find another vacuum anyway.

I've had a whole day of texts saying how selfish I am and I'm unsisterly and condescending. I am SO angry. The stress brought on a nosebleed this afternoon as I'm 5 months pregnant. I could really do without it.

Just to get some clarity here, am I the one that's been out of order?

I'm not really sure how best to handle the situation other than ignoring her, which is what i'm trying to do.

MrsOakenshield I don't class myself as a walkover at all, but it's easier to just let her borrow things. If I say no she'll go to my mum and then she will get involved and tell me how I've always been nasty to my sister, blah blah. In my opinion it's not worth the fuss, also I don't appreciate being treated like I'm 12 and won't lend her my Barbie.

I know how ridiculous that sounds! But look at the hassle I got today because she didn't get what she wanted.

Exactly. You've enabled her for far too long. Her attitude may well get worse before it gets better, but you have to protect your new family now.

but that is being a walkover - you do what she wants because she throws a tantrum and runs to your mum when she doesn't get you to do what she wants - so you do it to avoid that. And if she's 30 she's been doing this for what - 28 years? Since she could first throw her toys out of the pram and get her own way?

I'm not excusing your sister for one minute, but she behaves like this to you because your mum encourages it and you let her. Don't do it! Before you know it you'll have an ankle-biter doing it (with the good excuse of being, y'know, a toddler) - your own children beahving like this is enough for anyone, surely!

(sorry if that sounds mean, it's not meant to!)

No, I know what you mean. I'll probably get a phonecall from my mum later and I'll have to stand my ground on it as this really does need to stop before I actually do have a real life tantrum throwing toddler to deal with as well as my sister.

If you make a stand now, then you're saving yourself years of hassle. Imagine she could still be doing this when she's 80!

absolutely! Still, it's all good practice . . .

Text her a link to an affordable Hoover.

YANBU at all and if this was my dsis I'd have kicked her in to touch well before now.

Why doesn't she have her own Hoover, and if she only borrows yours once a month, what does she do for the other 29/30 days of the month please god she hoovers more than once a month???

As for your parents, yes you do need to stand your ground with them and totally call them on it if they support your sister in this. How old is she? Completely ridiculous behaviour from her IMHO!!

God knows what she does with the floor, she must just sweep it or something the rest of the time. It's a wooden one. Although I lived in a flat with a wood flood and still gave that a blast at least once a week. But the again I had my own vacuum

All I will say is tesco value Hoover / Christmas present.She can't deny she needs one .lol

One of the best hoovers I bought was a £30 tescos one.
Yanbu

YANBU. And if she runs to your mum again and your mum comes to you, tell her to mind her own fucking business.

yy to getting her a cheapo hoover for her next birthday.

She sounds a nightmare.

She is being immature and a bit silly about the whole thing, don't worry about it

Oh, and if your mum gets involved the line about being 12 and Barbies is a good one!

Was just about to post that you should buy her a hoover for her birthday / Christmas, or suggest to your mum she gets her one.
Argos have a bagged one at £20, or bagless at £25. Birthday gift sorted.

YANBU. She is been childish.

Jeebus - your sister is a cow!

I know what its like - little sisters are a pain even when they are over 30.
:)

She should just f*cking well buy her own hoover!

Surely She must Hoover more than once a month? I Hoover round downstairs and mop at least once a day - once a month is disgusting.

If someone asked to borrow my hoover I would think it was bit odd

Corr have you're read the op! Op you are not being u your sister is something else. If tat were a friend she would be dumped straight away

If she continues this behaviour have as little as possible to do with her, you and your parents have enabled this childish behaviour for too lonf