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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Because I was female???

30 replies

Summerblaze · 28/05/2013 10:36

I was queueing for a ride yesterday with my DD which had a height limit. As we were stood there a couple of children came off the ride who were as small as my DS1 who I had told couldn't come on with us. I called over to DH who sent him over.

We waited and when I paid the man saw DS1 and asked if he could measure him. As I knew, he was about 2 inches under the line. I figured the other kids had been missed by him and that was how they had got on so I said never mind to DS1 (who then was distraught as he has developmental delay so while he is 5, he didn't understand why he couldn't go on) and took him back to DH.

I went back to rejoin my DD and just before we went on, a man came on with 4 kids. Man clocked the littlest one and asked to measure him. He also was 2 inches under so guy said he couldn't go on. The man then said 'go on mate, he's been on before' so the guy said ok then. I was fuming. Was going to say something but he walked off and went on his break I assume.

Was this because I was female. Can't think of any other reason why he would let one go on and not the other.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 28/05/2013 10:39

If you had said to the man "he is ok, he has been on before", he may have let him on...

did you ask?

BridgetBidet · 28/05/2013 10:40

I think it's more likely because he was just about to go on his break/home and he didn't want to have an argument to delay him when he was due off rather than because you were female.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 28/05/2013 10:40

Two inches is a big gap to be under the height limit. Such restrictions are there for safety reasons. I wouldn't want to risk anything by persuading a ride attendant to let a too-small child on anyway.

YABU to be fuming that your child had to stick by the perfectly sensible rules.

TempusFuckit · 28/05/2013 10:40

Surely it was because the other guy asked again?

Although I guess you could argue that being female you've been socially conditioned not to challenge status quo, yada yada

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 28/05/2013 10:42

There's nothing there which indicates it was because you're female. It's simply because the guy asked and you didn't.

I wouldn't go against safety recommendations for the sake of a ride anyway.

BarredfromhavingStella · 28/05/2013 10:43

No it was because the guy pushed it which is stupid as height restrictions are in place for a very good reason.

Original poster
Summerblaze · 28/05/2013 10:44

I was not annoyed that he had not been let on. I assumed that because other small children were going on that the rules had changed. It is a very old ride that has been there since I was little (a long time).

Rules hadn't changed, he wasn't allowed on, no problem.

Could have been because he asked again but surely if it is a rule then asking again shouldn't have suddenly have made it ok.

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 28/05/2013 10:44

What are you actually fuming about? Is it that your son couldn't go on, or that someone else's did?

I don't think it has anything to do with your being female. If I'd been in your situation it wouldn't even have occurred to me.

EuroShaggleton · 28/05/2013 10:44

There is nothing that indicates this was about being female.

DiscoDonkey · 28/05/2013 10:46

I don't think it had anything to do with you being female. Other guy pushed the point and you didn't (but yes height limits are there for a reason so he shouldn't have let him on)

GoblinGranny · 28/05/2013 10:46

It really wasn't to do with your gender, can't you see that the two conversations you describe are different?
If you'd said 'go on mate, he's been on before' and had the bloke refuse you, then the second incident had happened, then your post might make sense.

Original poster
Summerblaze · 28/05/2013 10:47

About it being unfair either way. If they were both too small, neither should be allowed on, end of.

Ok, IABU that it was nothing to do with me being female.

AIBU to think that man was not being fair.

OP posts:
GoblinGranny · 28/05/2013 10:50

So complain to the owners of the park, they are facing a possible lawsuit if a child is harmed.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 28/05/2013 10:51

I'd not risk my DCs going on something clearly signed with a height restriction if they were too short for it but fwiw yes, I do think it was because the guy selling rides thought he'd get more aggro from the man with the children if he denied them the ride than he'd get from Summerblaze.

GoblinGranny · 28/05/2013 10:53

But she didn't say anything to him, she said 'never mind' to her son and took him back to her husband before rejoining the queue without a murmur.

WorraLiberty · 28/05/2013 11:06

No idea where you got the female thing from.

I'd say it had more to do with the fact you didn't bother speaking up there and then.

Also, why would any parent be happy to ignore safety restrictions on a ride?

Original poster
Summerblaze · 28/05/2013 11:06

DS1 was certainly asking though. Man said you aren't big enough, DS1 said yes I am look and stood on his tiptoes. Granted this was cheating but he was certainly challenged by DS1. Of course I said never mind. If he wasn't big enough I didn't want him on either. I thought the rules had changed as there were others coming off who were small. The height chart looked about 50 years old.

OP posts:
GoblinGranny · 28/05/2013 11:29

Ds was asking? DS is 5 Confused

YoniBottsBumgina · 28/05/2013 11:34

But the ride hasn't changed, why would the height limit change? Just because the height chart looks 50 years old, do you think the ride is magically now safe for smaller children because it is old? Confused

MissStrawberry · 28/05/2013 11:42

I think you are seeing a discrimination issue that isn't there.

The only thing you should be concerned with is a children's ride operator that allows children on who aren't safely tall enough. Not a place I would want to use.

Original poster
Summerblaze · 28/05/2013 11:47

Don't know why a 5 year old asking needs a confused face.

DS1 has learning difficulties and is down to see the autism panel pretty soon. One of the things they have picked up on is his lack of social skills. He is the opposite of unsociable and will talk to anyone and doesn't care who they are.

I have accepted the IABU re the gender issue. And I wasn't saying I was upset that DS didn't get on. I totally get that and don't want him on if there is a safety issue. The guy was wrong to let the other kids on, challenged or not though, yes?????

OP posts:
GoblinGranny · 28/05/2013 11:54

I wasn't confused about the child asking at all, it seems a perfectly normal thing for him to do. I was confused that you appeared to think that an infant protesting would be taken as seriously as an adult man trying it on.
We pointed out that you'd said nothing, unlike the bloke.
You replied with the fact that your 5 year old had.

QuintessentialOldDear · 28/05/2013 12:00

The guard was faced with what appeared to be a safety conscious woman and a bloke who did not care. If a parent actively push for safety guidelines not to be followed for his own child, who is the guard to argue?
If you had also kicked up a fuss and made it clear you did not care about safety precautions, then the guard might have let your ds on.

Original poster
Summerblaze · 28/05/2013 12:14

Ok. I will accept that IABU and that it is just a case of bloke not being bothered about bending the rules if someone moans about it.

FWIW, I wouldn't moan next time either as I didn't want to bend the safety guidelines.

OP posts:
UserError · 28/05/2013 12:18

I used to work as a ride operator at a theme park and height restrictions were the bane of my life, because of stupid parents who couldn't get it into their heads that the restrictions were there for their child's safety. The amount of abuse I got was unbelievable and I was accused of all kinds - racism, sexism, you name it.

Really, OP? Really? You're pissed off because your child didn't get on the ride and others did, even though you KNEW he was too short for it?

Before anyone says it, yes, the other children who were too short were ok. That doesn't matter. I've had to let children on rides against my better judgement when they were just above the line, but looked unable to handle the ride (overruled by managers who didn't have a clue, so I made them operate the ride so I wouldn't be liable). Guess what, I was right - watching a small child hang on for dear life, looking like any second they could slip underneath or through the safety restraint, well, I don't wish that on anyone.

Rant over.

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