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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be scared? Wwyd?

71 replies

ihateveggies · 27/05/2013 10:55

Hi,

My first post in AIBU and I need urgent advice.

Our garden backs onto a social club. We have complained about noise both to them and to the council many times.

Yesterday my husband went in and really got angry about the noise.

Today I found a dead pigeon just outside my front garden. It looks like it has a blow to the head.

I know it might be a coincidence but I am scared that it was the people from the social club killing the pigeon and putting it there.

Would it be crazy to call the police? I am scared I have young children and I need to protect them.

Please help!

OP posts:
DoJo · 27/05/2013 11:15

I have to say, this is one of my pet peeves - someone buys a house near to a social amenity and then complains that there is noise from it and demands that their needs are placed above those of the people who frequent the place. I appreciate that you may not have known that the social club catered for younger people as well as the older crowd, but that really doesn't make much difference as older people can and do make noise as well. If they are breaching their license conditions then report them to the issuing council, don't go over there and shout as that is counter productive and will make them feel as though you are trying to stop their fun. The licensing breach and the noise are two separate things - you can't demand that there is no noise during the hours that they are legally allowed to operate, but if they are staying open later than allowed then that is a problem which should be addressed. I wonder if the two have become confused when you have been in touch with the council as they should be acting on the breach.

ihateveggies · 27/05/2013 11:15

And I didn't want to call mi5, simply the neighbourhood police so I am aware that it is not a matter of life or death.

OP posts:
cory · 27/05/2013 11:16

They would have to be incredibly optimistic clubbers to think that a dead pigeon left on the pavement would be taken as a personal sign by the people who lived in the house backing off that pavement.

Surely at least, if they wanted it to be a sign to you it would be left on your property? (note, as houseowners you do not own that pavement).

Do you usually suffer from paranoia?

WorraLiberty · 27/05/2013 11:16

Why are you scared though?

Just how angry did your DH get?

ihateveggies · 27/05/2013 11:18

Hi worra. He went in and said that what they were doing (music outside) is not allowed and that if they didn't stop he would call the police.

So he didn't do anything illegal (we never do) just raised his voice.

Clearly I am paranoid to link the two events.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 27/05/2013 11:19

But why would you want to waste your Neighbourhood Police's time?

Surely they have something better to do than investigate a dead pigeon that wasn't even on your property?

Surely if someone was going to go to the trouble of scaring you, they'd actually fling it on to your garden?

cory · 27/05/2013 11:19

Likely explanations would seem to be:

bird has been hit by a car and shot off some distance

bird has been killed by bird of prey

bird has been killed by local dog or cat (yes, cats can take down pigeon)

bird has been killed by fox

bird suffering from disease which impeded its navigation skills has flown into house/lamp post/other hard object

WorraLiberty · 27/05/2013 11:20

Ahh cross posted

Really in that case I do think you're being totally paranoid.

HeySoulSister · 27/05/2013 11:20

If it's British legion club then they cater for families too

cory · 27/05/2013 11:22

"Clearly I am paranoid to link the two events."

I think we are all agreed on this.

Dead birds are a normal and natural occurrence. It seems unthinkable to anybody else on this thread that somebody would try to make a threat by killing a bird and then not only failing to leave it on your property but also failing to leave it in a manner that did not make it clear that this was a deliberate act.

Callofthefishwife · 27/05/2013 11:22

I think you need to chill out and are being OTT about this. Unless you have gone over to the club personally and caused a scene then I dont think you have anything to be afraid of.

Birds get hit and fly into things. They also get attacked by cats,foxes and other wild animals.

It was more likely to have been dumped on your doorstep by a cat or similar.

If you have issues about the social club then you should report them to your local council who along with the police decide on licensing - if they are found to be in breech of their licence then next time its up for renewal they may impose restrictions or not reissue at all.

Calm down - you sound rather paranoid. The dead bird is one thing and the social club another.

squeakytoy · 27/05/2013 11:22

I would suggest you move, rather than behaving like a pair of killjoys who are scared by a dead pigeon.

squeakytoy · 27/05/2013 11:23

It wasnt on the doorstep, it wasnt even in their bloody garden!

CelticPixie · 27/05/2013 11:23

Was the social club there before you bought the house? I'm assuming it was so surely you must have expect some degree of noise when you moved in? Whinging about something that was there before you arrived and provides a lot of enjoyment to other people is not likely to make you very popular.

If it bothers you so much, move.

LadyBeagleEyes · 27/05/2013 11:25

I keep finding dead animals and birds on my living room floor when I get up in the morning.
Yesterday it was a baby rabbit.
I'm being stalked aren't I?
I used to think it was the cats but this thread has made me think...

VelvetSpoon · 27/05/2013 11:27

Most social club places get a variation in their licences for bank holidays to allow music, later opening etc - I'd want to be sure that wasn't the case before I went in there shouting the odds.

And I do think you're being over-dramatic. If this club is upsetting you so much, then move.

And pigeons have to die somewhere. I've seen quite a few on pavments/verges round here.

crazydrunkevilhamster · 27/05/2013 11:27

I used to live next door to a Scottish social club & my god they could be noisy as they didnt realise how much they could be heard in my home until we pointed it out .
I would never of accused them of murdering a pigeon to get back at me Hmm

CelticPixie · 27/05/2013 11:31

This is a bit like those people who buy a house next to a church and then complain about the bells ringing. Well then WTF did you buy a house next to a church if the sound of ringing bells bothers you?

SandStorm · 27/05/2013 11:32

Are you actually members of the club? The best way to change things is from the inside out. How is it run? Is it a business or is it a friendly society? Is it run by a committee? If it is, that's your answer. Join the club, get to know them and join the committee.

comedycentral · 27/05/2013 12:16

YANBU for feeling scared. Fear is a funny thing really. It can't be helped, I don't think you can help the way you feel. Fear is very isolating though so you need to get some perspective or it will escalate. I would put this down as a coincidence. Hope you are ok.

SarahAndFuck · 27/05/2013 12:48

OP who did you complain to within the social club? And what time was it when you complained?

If you just went in and complained at the bar staff or doorman or customers in general then nothing really would be done about it.

I think most social clubs have a committee and you could put your complaint in writing to them. Most clubs I know take these complaints seriously but usually only deal with them if they have been made in writing and can be discussed at a committee meeting (held fortnightly/monthly in my experience)

Otherwise, complain to your local council if you think the club has broken it's licensing agreement.

If the club is registered to the CIU then you could also complain to them.

That's assuming your complain is reasonable. In my experience noise outside is restricted after 9pm but when they have live music inside it can still be heard outside until about 11pm.

If you are complaining in the afternoon then they might be within their rights to play music outside.

I spent a good bit of my life growing up in flats above clubs or houses next door to them, as my parents still run one. They run the bar, but a committee is responsible for the rest of the club, including things like music licences and extensions to normal hours on special occasions etc.

They would take a complaint seriously if it was reasonable, but again, it's better to have it in writing. There's a very tall man who lives opposite the club, who very occasionally comes in and shouts very loudly for the person blocking his driveway to come out and move their car. The club take that seriously and always have words with anyone caught doing it (and it's very rare that it happens now because of that). They also have signs up asking people to be considerate of the local residents and have stopped all drinking or smoking outside the front doors from 9pm onwards.

It has to be a bit of give and take on both sides when you run a club in a residential area or buy a house next to an established social club. But if you really feel they are causing a public nuisance with noise which breaches their licence agreement or are being given extensions to normal business hours that are intruding on you late at night, speak to your local council.

Sunnywithshowers · 27/05/2013 12:59

OP I'm sure the pigeon is nothing to do with your complaint.

I used to live near a pub that regularly breached it's license conditions. My neighbours and I kept diaries of the noise and times that they closed etc. and made complaints to environmental health and the licensing authority at the council.

The pub eventually changed managers after they had applied for a variation to their license, which was opposed by me and my neighbours. I attached a copy of my noise diary to my letter, which was helpful... The new manager was lovely and I didn't have to complain again.

wigglesrock · 27/05/2013 13:00

I'm not sure why people are being arsey about the social club breaching its licensing regulations. They're some people on MN having palpitations if a child using a trampoline next door or if someone puts the radio on in their back garden. Never mind has a bloody smoke in their own garden.

Forget about the pigeon really it's absolutely nothing to do with the club.

In writing complain to the club,.but make sure they are actually doing something wrong not something that you just dislike. Take a note of the problems you have, then calmly speak to the council and police.

specialsubject · 27/05/2013 13:21

No, the pigeon is a coincidence. How the hell do you think people catch a pigeon??

it flew into a window and brained itself. They do that. This is not a scene from 'the godfather'.

the social club is a separate issue.

rabbitlady · 27/05/2013 13:36

i think ss is right. and worra as usual has been sarcastic and deeply unpleasant.

op, i lived next door to a pub for years and once complained to the police about the noise, when something very unusual and potentially trouble-causing was going on. the police officer was not very helpful, until i asked for his identity number, after which he became much more concerned.

the people who have said 'keep records' are right. including of anything odd that happens eg the dead pigeon. its almost certainly a complete coincidence - and at the worst, someone will have found it and placed it where you would see it - but if it turns out that it marks the start of a campaign, better to have it documented.