AIBU to be scared? Wwyd?

[ihateveggies]

Hi,

My first post in AIBU and I need urgent advice.

Our garden backs onto a social club. We have complained about noise both to them and to the council many times.

Yesterday my husband went in and really got angry about the noise.

Today I found a dead pigeon just outside my front garden. It looks like it has a blow to the head.

I know it might be a coincidence but I am scared that it was the people from the social club killing the pigeon and putting it there.

Would it be crazy to call the police? I am scared I have young children and I need to protect them.

Please help!

[WorrySighWorrySigh]

Re the pigeon, my cat appeared at the window with a huge bird in his mouth. I very much doubt that he killed it, more likely one of the fatter neighbourhood cats fell on it and our cat Wombled it up. He then got bored when we wouldnt let him in with it and left it on the front door step.

Dead birds can travel an awful long way when a stupid cat gets involved. I really would not assume that it was anything to worry about.

[StrawberryMojito]

Call the licensing department of your local council to complain about the social club. They should be able to offer some advice. Ring your council switchboard and ask for licensing.

Re the pigeon. I am sure it is unconnected. If anybody wanted to send you a message then they would be more direct than leaving a pigeon on the pavement.

[flippinada]

I was just wondering in case he had behaved in an intimidating way, but from what you say that doesn't sound to be the case.

May be worth seeing your GP about getting some help with your anxiety, if you haven't already done so.

If the noise is very bad, then others have given good advice above. Good luck.

[ihateveggies]

Hi, my husband is a very nice person and he comes across as the nicest guy you have ever met, super relaxed.

He is so lovely to me and to others, everybody tells me how lucky I am to have ever met him.

So, I don't think he comes across as intimidating at all.

[flippinada]

I mean they not that.

[flippinada]

I may be way off the mark here and if so feel free to tell me I'm talking rubbish, but is your husband quite an intimidating sort of person? Just wondering as they may have some relation to you being worried about retaliation.

If he isn't and he's just snapped because of the noise then obviously that doesn't apply.

Constant noise can drive you round the twist, and if you're already feeling ill or have other thing going on which cause stress it can really get to you.

[ihateveggies]

Thank you all for your kind words and for bringing me back to earth.

Things have gone wrong in the past 18 months in my life and I try not to show it in RL.

People think I am optimistic and a sort of superwoman, but in private I am really struggling.

I have too much to lose if I go mad, so I really need to keep it together.

Thanks again, I appreciate your words and concern so very much.

[Hamwidge]

Op are you always this anxious? Maybe you should see your GP? The paranoia and anxiety could be linked to something else.

[FarBetterNow]

Veggies: Please ignore the dead pigeon and the posters who have been unhelpful and sarcastic.
Sarah has given good advice.

Do you know what hours the club has been granted for music?
Keep a diary of any breaches of the licence.
Write about the breaches to the police, council and the club manager.
Phone the police when they breach the licence.

Even though the OP has bought a house next to a social club, she is quite right to be upset if they breach their licence.

Best wishes for a quiet, peaceful evening.

[ChasingDogs]

My evil ex-neighbours once had a dead crow nailed to their front door. That's the proper way to send a message if you're aiming to mix ornithology and intimidation.

In your case OP I think you're off the hook. Just some random pigeon upping and dying in front of your house. Pigeons die all the time, almost always without the intervention of Social Clubs.

[Ullena]

Make the pigeon into a casserole and serve it to the social club members...and report them to environmental health every time they break their licencing laws!

[flippinada]

No idea where the random a) came from there!

[flippinada]

I think some people have been a bit unkind on here as a)we don't know how bad the noise is and OP sounds distressed.

Veggies WRT to the pigeon, please don't worry as there are many, many reasons why you might have a dead pigeon on your lawn and none of those are to do with someone trying to intimidate you. Most likely it will be a car accident/pigeon flying into window/locally moggy.

Secondly, are you quite an anxious person normally? Not being snarky, just wondering. I have anxiety issues myself and I know that they can make you overreact to situations that don't objectively warrant them.

[EggsMichelle]

For now think rationally op, a stunned pigeon or a cat has abandoned it's kill (mine catch pigeons). And don't go looking for evidence of harassment you will make yourself more paranoid.

[SarahAndFuck]

Worra hasn't said anything different to many other posters, why single her out? And the "as usual" comment is a bit off, no need for that, it's not even true.

[CaptainJamesTKirk]

OP. Really don't worry about the pigeon. It's likely a cat or bigger bird took it out.

Re: social club, it's too late to say you shouldn't have purchased a home near it, you've done that already. So... Keep a record of when it breaches it's licensing laws and call the non emergency police line every time they do this. However if they are functioning within the law then I'm afraid there's nothing you can do.

[Lilithmoon]

OP I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to make you cry. That sick feeling is horrible I know. Does your husband know who anxious this has made you? Can he reassure you?

[ihateveggies]

Hi lili. You made me cry. When I am really so stressed asking me if I am ok is the way to make me cry. Maybe because I feel that somebody cares.

Clearly I am paranoid, but it doesn't take out the sick feeling in my stomach.

Thank you so much for asking, really.

[Pinkflipflop]

I wouldn't be scared and I have a huge bird phobia!

Relax!

[Lilithmoon]

OP I hope you are ok. It is horrible to feel so anxious but I am sure it is a coincidence.

[LadyBeagleEyes]

Not necessary rabbitlady .
That's a personal attack on Worra, she's entitled to her opinion.

[rabbitlady]

i think ss is right. and worra as usual has been sarcastic and deeply unpleasant.

op, i lived next door to a pub for years and once complained to the police about the noise, when something very unusual and potentially trouble-causing was going on. the police officer was not very helpful, until i asked for his identity number, after which he became much more concerned.

the people who have said 'keep records' are right. including of anything odd that happens eg the dead pigeon. its almost certainly a complete coincidence - and at the worst, someone will have found it and placed it where you would see it - but if it turns out that it marks the start of a campaign, better to have it documented.

[specialsubject]

No, the pigeon is a coincidence. How the hell do you think people catch a pigeon??

it flew into a window and brained itself. They do that. This is not a scene from 'the godfather'.

the social club is a separate issue.

[wigglesrock]

I'm not sure why people are being arsey about the social club breaching its licensing regulations. They're some people on MN having palpitations if a child using a trampoline next door or if someone puts the radio on in their back garden. Never mind has a bloody smoke in their own garden.

Forget about the pigeon really it's absolutely nothing to do with the club.

In writing complain to the club,.but make sure they are actually doing something wrong not something that you just dislike. Take a note of the problems you have, then calmly speak to the council and police.

[Sunnywithshowers]

OP I'm sure the pigeon is nothing to do with your complaint.

I used to live near a pub that regularly breached it's license conditions. My neighbours and I kept diaries of the noise and times that they closed etc. and made complaints to environmental health and the licensing authority at the council.

The pub eventually changed managers after they had applied for a variation to their license, which was opposed by me and my neighbours. I attached a copy of my noise diary to my letter, which was helpful... The new manager was lovely and I didn't have to complain again.