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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hide from MIL in my room until I get better?

62 replies

SomeoneSaveMe · 26/05/2013 23:17

My MIL is lovely. She's so kind, thinks the world of me and I love her to bits.

I became quite unwell in the last month of my pregnancy due to a pre-existing condition getting dramatically worse. I wasn't coping at all. 3 weeks ago my son arrived and I knew there was no way I could cope with a new baby and a house which had already disintegrated into chaos (my husband works away during the week).

So MIL packed her bags, got on the train and came to stay. Since she's been here she's done everything for me. The laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, shopping, endless cups of tea, baby-minding so I can sleep. Practically she is an absolute treasure and there is no way I can thank her enough or manage without her at the moment. But ...

She doesn't stop talking. Ever. Incessant wittering from the minute I open my bedroom door until I go to bed at night. She even stands outside the bathroom door so she can talk to me. Much as I love her, I may have to kill her.

I need:

MIL: Would you like a cup of tea?
Me: Yes please.
The end.

Not:
MIL: Would you like a cup of tea?
Me: Yes please.
MIL: I'll pop the kettle on then. I bought some teabags earlier as we don't want to run out. I was going to go to Tesco but my friend Maud doesn't like Tesco and would rather go to Waitrose. She used to be a air stewardess you know so she really knows her tea and she says Waitrose ones are the best. Although she admits Asda ones are cheaper. We have the Asda ones at church. They're quite nice too and Maud is right they are a bit cheaper than the Tesco ones, but the box is a bit bigger and they go further. The vicar doesn't drink tea though. Did I tell you? He likes coffee but only instant. He went to India once, it supposed to be very nice there. Maud's son went there once too. Would you like a biscuit with your tea? I bought some nice ones while I was out but I'm not sure if you'll like them. The biscuits are Waitrose are better. My friend Maud always gets hers from there ...
Me: ARRRGH!

I'm being an ungrateful cow aren't I. :(

OP posts:
RachelHRD · 26/05/2013 23:20

Lol I have MIL staying at the moment so totally get where you're coming from......although mine doesn't lift a finger is nowhere near as helpful as yours
Grit your teeth or buy some earplugs!!!!

JoyMachine · 26/05/2013 23:25

Wait until your son starts talking! Grin

"Mummy, look at my lego model, I made it just like the picture from the leaflet, except we don't have any blue bricks left, so I had to use black ones of course, and I haven't got a workman minifig, because we've just got pirates and knights Mummy, but maybe I could have some different minifigs next time it's present time, like Christmas, because Father Christmas knows I like Lego, doesn't he Mummy? Though it is a long time until Christmas, so maybe I could save up my pocket money instead? Look at the leaflet, Mummy, there's this set, and this one, and this one. We don't have any of those do we Mummy? Why don't we, Mummy? We could go to John Lewis this afternoon and get some Mummy, couldn't we?"

JellicleCat · 26/05/2013 23:27

Ny MIL is a bit like yours in the talking department. I have learnt to tune out while still smiling and nodding. It becomes easier with time.

As the baby gets older you can also send the two of the out for short walks which helps to preserve sanity.

Original poster
SomeoneSaveMe · 26/05/2013 23:30

I'm buying a gag for my son a lock for my bedroom door JoyMachine.

OP posts:
Original poster
SomeoneSaveMe · 26/05/2013 23:31

At least now I know why FIL never has his hearing aids turned on.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 26/05/2013 23:42

DD1's like this and DD2 looks to be going the same way

Grin

When it's an adult (and I saw someone yesterday who's the same) although I understand that some people feel compelled to fill in the silence with their routine thoughts, it's incredibly selfish.

Like they don't feel comfortable letting you have any thoughts of your own, let alone get a word in edgeways to voice any of them.

STFU FFS! Hmm

Tune out? Ear plugs?

Could you tell her she's talking too much?

Grin I know, that's a ridiculous suggestion, sorry.

AlfalfaMum · 26/05/2013 23:42

She's been there for weeks, do you still need her help? If yes, is there anyone that can take over? You could probably both do with a break fom eachother... The problem with in-laws is you can't really tell them when to stfu Wink my mil is lovely, but I can only abide her a few days at a time :)

seeker · 26/05/2013 23:55

It doesn't get better. My dd is 17
"Well, I went to Costa with Grace today and she said that she's not going out with Elliot any more but she's not interested in James either even though James likes her, but when we go to Sara's party on Sunday she thinks that Henry ask her out. And she says that Oliver might ask me out and I really like him and I think he might too, , but I'm not sure if he's asking me out to make Grace jealous because he likes Grace too so I asked Grace if she minded and she said she didn't but her face went all cold when she said it do you think she does mind really, mum?

Oh, and ds, 12 We've got a. Tournament next week, and I've got to decid whether John or Ben should go in goal, because Callum can't play. john's better at being a goalie, but he doesn't like it, so if I put him in goal he'll be stroppy so won't play as well in midfield when he comes out of goal. Ben likes being in goal but he gets distracted really easily so when we're playing easier tams he gets bored because eye doesn't have enough to do so then h let's goals in, but when we're playing harder teams he's really good because he's got a lot to do so who should I pick do you think?

JoyMachine · 26/05/2013 23:57

We call it verbal diarrhoea btw!

Sunnywithshowers · 26/05/2013 23:59

YANBU at all.

My DM is like this - I wonder if her internal monologue is set to 'broadcast'.

My sympathies :)

EMUZ · 27/05/2013 00:03

My mum made my dad get hearing aids. Apparently he's hard of hearing
Hears me perfectly GrinWink
Funny how he forgets to wear them...

iamadoozermum · 27/05/2013 00:20

This so could be my mum! I love her dearly but boy can she talk and talk and talk ... She cannot abide any kind of silence at all and talks all through TV programmes, films, in the car etc, etc. I have tried telling her to stop the constant wittering but then I get the hurt, "how could you say that to me"/"I don't understand why you don't want to know the full medical history of someone you don't know and are never likely to meet" look. I found it the worst just after I had my kids, I didn't have the patience to put up with it and I did feel really bad because she was really helpful but oh, I'd have killed to have some peace and quiet Grin

Gingefringe · 27/05/2013 00:44

Seeker - your DD sounds like Vicky Pollard!

My MIL is a non stop talker as well and has a really loud voice that drones on and on and on and on. I'm very tempted to plug in my iPod when she's about but that would seem rude!

MissBetseyTrotwood · 27/05/2013 00:49

I am the talker. Blush

DH has taught me to look for signs of boredom in my victims. Eg. glassy eyes, walking away from me etc etc.

Congratulations on your new arrival! (And I'll leave it there)!

squoosh · 27/05/2013 00:51

Maud sounds like a very wise woman. You should be grateful that you are getting to hear her proclomations on teabags, Asda, Waitrose and biscuits. Who knows what Maud nuggets will be dispensed tomorrow.

Have some gratitude! Wink

Theyoniwayisnorthwards · 27/05/2013 01:15

I'm a talker, I am fine being told to shut it if it's done in a humorous/affectionate way. DP just kind of grins at me and says "do you breathe through gills I can't see?"

So long as you don't make her feel like she's upset or annoyed you, you could try making your request for quiet by teasing her in a nice way..

ihavenonameonhere · 27/05/2013 01:33

Ha I am the talker and was as a kid as well, my parents used to tell me they wanted to get me a zip like Zippy from Rainbow because I just never stopped talking

violetshoes · 27/05/2013 01:45

You have my sympathy.

My lovely MIL monologues non-stop. Her mouth seems to be directly wired to her eyes without involving her brain. eg 'I'll just get these cups out of the cupboard, here's a blue one and a green one and I'll turn the pantry light off, the kettles boiled and I'll pour the water in now etc etc etc..............'

Luckily she doesn't expect any response so I have followed DH's lead in nodding and smiling while tuning her out. otherwise I'd have killed her by now

violetshoes · 27/05/2013 01:50

come back apostrophe. kettle's. there we go

piratecat · 27/05/2013 02:07

violetshoes that has really made me laugh. her mouth wired to her eyes!!Grin

recall · 27/05/2013 02:11

Missbetsytrowood I too am the talker, I just can't stop, we ought to get together?..would be fun Grin I walk down peoples paths still talking as they shut the door, and I stand outside loos talking??I actually get a dry mouth sometimes cos I talk so much, people often yawn at me Blush

SquinkiesRule · 27/05/2013 03:38

That is going to be me when I'm a MIL Grin Dd has started this too and I remember being asked to stop talking as child and how easily my feelings were hurt. I really try to just switch off like I did with the boys, but she asks questions and expects answers. Sad I asked her to play the quiet game driving home (30 min drive) then felt guilty.
Can you just stick your iPod on and tune her out. She sounds like a treasure.

LittleMissLucy · 27/05/2013 04:08

She might be worried about you and how quiet you are and therefore compensating.

mathanxiety · 27/05/2013 04:21

DS regales me with rundowns of 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelhpia', 'Lord of the Rings' all the Batman series, and just recently on a three hour car journey, 'The X Files' and 'Game of fecking Thrones'. We stopped at a filling station and I considered hitching a lift from a hairy trucker just to get away from it. He's not normally a 'talker', but once he gets going on certain topics he.just.won't.shut.up.

Gooeyhead · 27/05/2013 04:39

Yep I'm the talker. My DH is dreading the day our DD can string a sentence together at 11 months she doesn't stop gabbling!!! He's convinced between the two of us he won't get a word in at our house until 2030 at least!!! Grin

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