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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to continue to abuse my neighbour's dog?

104 replies

iProcrastinate · 26/05/2013 11:21

Sorry for the dramatic title, but that is what I am being accused of doing!

The sun has finally come out here, so I've let DD (4) play out in the garden, in her sandpit, tent and with a bucket of water etc. She isn't a loud, screamy child but does chat away to herself constantly.

My neighbours have a dog, not sure what breed, it's quite small in stature but has a massive head and broad shoulders. I've already had problems as this dog barks its bollocks off everytime we walk past the house (hard to avoid as we are at the end of a cul de sac) and the neighbour doesn't like us doing this as it upsets his dog.

DD was happily playing in the garden, I was in the kitchen with the patio open (she wasn't being noisy, I could hardly hear her through the open doors) and I hear neighbour shouting "Excuse me! Excuse me!" over the fence (7ft fence so we can't see into each others gardens etc)

I answer to him and he asks if I can keep DD inside the house as his dog doesn't like DD playing outside, I can hear dog panting and making sort of growly snarly noises behind the fence. I'd heard it barking earlier but it barks most of the time in my experience so I didn't think anything of it! I asked if he could keep his dog inside if it was so upset by a child playing quietly. He said it would be against his dogs rights to be kept in when it's warm he leaves his back doors open and dog likes to come in and out as it pleases.

I said DD is just playing quietly in our own garden, he said it didn't matter, his dog knew she was there and didn't like it. He was being quite arsey short with me so I just said back that its not our problem if his dog didn't like children, and we are allowed to use our garden (heaven knows we pay enough rent to use it!)

He snaps back "I'll report you to the RSPCA! You are causing unnecessary distress to my dog! You are abusing an animal" - I hear him storm back into the house, the he shouts back "Just you hope he doesn't work out how to get through the fence!"

If DD was being noisy, I'd ask her to be quiet and see his point, or if she was playing right next to the fence, but she's not, she's at the other end of the garden and I can hardly hear her 8 feet away. I've continued to let her play out but am sitting in the garden with her now, and can hear the dog pacing on the other side of the fence, breathing noisily.

I'm not a dog person and I don't know much about them - AIBU?

OP posts:
Wishiwasanheiress · 26/05/2013 14:54

All of the above comments are brilliant. Another one supporting u op. how's it been since?

whosiwhatsit · 26/05/2013 14:57

This tragedy happened just yesterday evening. The victim was in his garden. www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/may/26/liverpool-pensioner-dies-dog-attack. Not to scare you, OP, just to make sure you take this seriously.

SlimePrincess · 26/05/2013 15:06

I heard about that Sad

flanbase · 26/05/2013 15:12

agree with Galaxydefender - call the local police and explain that he said he hopes the dog doesn't get through the fence. Your garden is your property and your child can be in the garden normally. His dog sounds like it needs training to be able to able to follow the commands of it's owner to leave your child peacefully. He can't talk to you like this by shouting for you over then fence.

Sparklyboots · 26/05/2013 15:12

I am a dog person. Your neighbour isn't; he's a twat who CBA to control his dog and would rather make it your problem. We had loud, barky, scary looking dogs and if they did that to a neighbour they would either be coerced into calmness or removed from the situation. YANBU and the neighbour has made an actual threat against your daughter - I'd definitely being referring this to the landlord and the police.

flanbase · 26/05/2013 15:16

yes - he needs to be able to call his dog to heel and sit quietly and stay. Dogs that can't do this and are disturbed by normal noise are a danger.

Fairenuff · 26/05/2013 16:04

He is saying that if the dog gets out of the garden, it will pose a risk.

That should be reported because if that is genuinely the owner's opinion, the dog should not be left in the garden unless it is contained in a run, or tied securely.

Presumably, if the dog gets loose, it is a risk to all members of the public, not just you and your daughter?

VivaLeBeaver · 26/05/2013 16:10

As a dog person I'd say your neighbour is a twat.

I have a new dog who is territorial aggressive, which it sounds like his dog is. I've had my dog 3 weeks and when I first got him he'd go nuts if next door's dogs were out.

I've sorted it within 3 weeks and my dog is now nice and quiet in the garden rather than snarling and barking through the hedge. I had to go out with my dog everytime he went outside for two weeks and kindly teach him he wasn't to do it.

Your neighbour needs to sort his dog out and get a big reality check.

MagzFarqharson · 26/05/2013 16:17

This is a joke, right? If not I have a gun you can borrow.

TooTabooToBoo · 26/05/2013 17:10

Concrete - my dog goes batshit crazy at next door's washing Blush Their dog is a royal pain in the arse though (whereas mine is just anti washingHmm ) so I'm not top fussed! Confused

Misspixietrix · 26/05/2013 17:44

YDNBU OP! Like others have said let him call the RSPCA. I feel your pain, one of our NDNs has 2 dogs that bark their bollocks off if I so much as open the back door.
Unlike your Neighbour, they have never asked me to keep my kids indoors Hmm and they bring them in when they get too noisy so i've never felt the need to ask them likewise as they're actively trying to control it. I just can't get over him asking you not to use YOUR Garden Confused ~

Khaleese · 26/05/2013 18:03

Just poison his dog.

Not really :-) he's an idiot, i once had someone ask me to restrain my dog ( in our garden) as his horse had an issue with it. ( she may have barked)

My response was " err, no, she's in the garden"

Sallyingforth · 26/05/2013 18:40

Just tell him to fuck off.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 26/05/2013 18:55
Shock

What an utter loon.

Lure the little rat through the fence, shave it bald and then send it back.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/05/2013 19:01

One of my dogs gets overexcited and barks quite a lot, but that is our issue and no-one else's. she will bark if the neighbours' kids play out on the cul de sac outside our house, and that is still my problem, not the neighbours'. I wouldn't dream of asking them to change their behaviour so as not to upset the dog. They come onto the drive or the front lawn to get their balls, and that is fine with us, even when it does make her bark.

We are working with her to try to stop her barking her stupid fool head off, and things are getting better, though we are nowhere near conquering the issue, but it is, and will remain our issue, not the neighbours' or their kids' issue.

Incidentally - does anyone have any advice on teaching her not to bark when excited?

Guide26 · 26/05/2013 19:04

I have a very yappy dog, if given the chance she would be outside terrorising the neighbours as much as she can, we have of course said sorry to them and they often say they don't mind but still, shes my dog, shes causing a disturbance so shes my problem, I wouldn't dream of telling someone to go inside because of her, We have tried over and over to try and curb her barking but it doesnt work so she is kept inside a lot unless one of us is in the garden with her. You are not being unreasonable, tell him next time you'll report his dog for agressive barking towards your daughter if he wants to go down that route, they'll take your report a lot more serious than his!

digerd · 26/05/2013 19:05

Agree he is bonkers. It is his responsibility to make sure that his dog is not an annoyance or danger to other people. Your DC is doing nothing that can be called cruelty to animals.

digerd · 26/05/2013 19:05

ps
And neither are you.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 26/05/2013 19:19

Yanbu. I have two dogs, and there is no way I'd let them frighten anyone else in their own garden, let alone ask them to stay indoors. Bloke's living in fantasy land.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 26/05/2013 19:22

Yanbu. The man is being a cock!

persimmon · 26/05/2013 19:27

I'd be bloody livid if anyone made a tacit threat about their dog causing my family harm. A young girl was mauled to death not a month ago ffs. I'd actually call the police and report the incident so it gets logged.

Oh and YADNBU - he's a twat.

helenthemadex · 26/05/2013 19:31

what an utter cock, report him!

Betrayedbutsurvived · 26/05/2013 19:31

This guy is a complete cock, the RSPCA will laugh their bollox
off if he rings them and I'd seriously think about calling the police over his thinly veiled threats to set his dog on your DD if I were you.

siiiiiiiiigh · 26/05/2013 19:55

roary1 can I ask you for some clarification?

(self obsessed thread hijack follows)

our neighbours across the road have an alsation (huge, daft, nervous, friendly, about 7yrs) and a Rhodesian ridgeback (huge, daft, nervous, growly, snappy, 1 year)

They let their dogs wander in the street, they DO now have a fence, but leave the gates open when they move the Porsche/range rover/mini cooper combo around.

They don't exercise the dogs enough, I have literally seen them being taken out for walks a handful of times. The ridgeback is snappy at ny kids - hasn't actually gone for them, but, I am wary of it.

I don't mind dogs - but, I REALLY don't like the ridgeback. They say "oh she's soft as a soft thing, really, she wouldn't go for them" whilst I think - your dog is growling at my 5 year old and I want you to discipline/train your dog, please. And, by the way, it's really unpleasant for you to let them out to shit in the street, even if it is accidental, and your stupid alasation just shat in my garden.

I like my neighbours. Apart from their cavalier dog ownership and Butterflies-esque posh car manoevering, they are very nice people.

But, I WOULD like to impress upon them that their ridgeback puppy needs a bit of training. In a helpful if your dog doesn't stop growling at my kid I'll kick to hurt it kind of way.

Any ideas?

(thread hijack over)

OP - your neighbour's a worry. I'd phone the RSPCA and put spikes along my fence. AND, I'd strike him off my Christmas card list and start having fragrant BBQs in the garden, even if it were raining.

SoleSource · 26/05/2013 20:20

I hope i don't get flamed but

A) inform police
B) keep a diary ~ times, dates everything.
C) check fences each day incase he tampers with it...
D( do not retaliate yourself
E) do you know anybody to anonymously beat the crap out of him for threatening your child?
F) is he my ex neighbour reincarnated, who dropped dead

Thank fuck

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