to continue to abuse my neighbour's dog?

[iProcrastinate]

Sorry for the dramatic title, but that is what I am being accused of doing!

The sun has finally come out here, so I've let DD (4) play out in the garden, in her sandpit, tent and with a bucket of water etc. She isn't a loud, screamy child but does chat away to herself constantly.

My neighbours have a dog, not sure what breed, it's quite small in stature but has a massive head and broad shoulders. I've already had problems as this dog barks its bollocks off everytime we walk past the house (hard to avoid as we are at the end of a cul de sac) and the neighbour doesn't like us doing this as it upsets his dog.

DD was happily playing in the garden, I was in the kitchen with the patio open (she wasn't being noisy, I could hardly hear her through the open doors) and I hear neighbour shouting "Excuse me! Excuse me!" over the fence (7ft fence so we can't see into each others gardens etc)

I answer to him and he asks if I can keep DD inside the house as his dog doesn't like DD playing outside, I can hear dog panting and making sort of growly snarly noises behind the fence. I'd heard it barking earlier but it barks most of the time in my experience so I didn't think anything of it! I asked if he could keep his dog inside if it was so upset by a child playing quietly. He said it would be against his dogs rights to be kept in when it's warm he leaves his back doors open and dog likes to come in and out as it pleases.

I said DD is just playing quietly in our own garden, he said it didn't matter, his dog knew she was there and didn't like it. He was being quite arsey short with me so I just said back that its not our problem if his dog didn't like children, and we are allowed to use our garden (heaven knows we pay enough rent to use it!)

He snaps back "I'll report you to the RSPCA! You are causing unnecessary distress to my dog! You are abusing an animal" - I hear him storm back into the house, the he shouts back "Just you hope he doesn't work out how to get through the fence!"

If DD was being noisy, I'd ask her to be quiet and see his point, or if she was playing right next to the fence, but she's not, she's at the other end of the garden and I can hardly hear her 8 feet away. I've continued to let her play out but am sitting in the garden with her now, and can hear the dog pacing on the other side of the fence, breathing noisily.

I'm not a dog person and I don't know much about them - AIBU?

[cantreachmytoes]

Thanks for this! YDNBU!
If you didn't have to live next to him this would be funny. As I don't have to live next to him, I'm having a right old giggle.

Seriously though, the dog does sound a bit dangerous, probably from being unacclimatised to living in the real world. Someone mentioned a dog warden. I don't know what that is, exactly, but it does sound like an idea to do something to make sure the dog DOES stay on his side of the fence.

[Halfling]

You should warn your neighbour that if he ever says things like "Just you hope he doesn't work out how to get through the fence!", you will involve the police. He sounds like a right loon.

Please ensure that the fence is secure and can nit be breached by the dog.

[D0oinMeCleanin]

A lot of dogs guard their perimeters, it has bot all to do with socialisation. It's instinct.

It can be trained for.

My wee barker is a lot better now. He likes to lay in the sun when it's nice out and used to crack up when he heard the kids playing in the alley, no-one here has a garden but a few of the neighbours sometimes put paddling pools and trampolines in the alley, which drove my dog potty. That was my issue, not the neighbours.

He's a lot better now and can mainly lay quietly when they're out there playing, he knows that laying quietly when there are kids "threatening" his turf = the chance of chicken, barking = being brought back into the house and having the door closed on him. He only barks now when he hears them playing with balls and that's more of "oooh, let me play, please" bark than a "fuck off away from my house" bark.

[iProcrastinate]

Thanks everyone - I've checked over the fence and it seems pretty secure (the bottom bits are concrete and the top is solid panels, I had to replace one on the other side of the garden after a storm and I can vouch for the fact that they weigh an absolute tonne).

DD wants to come in now anyway as hayfever is getting the best of us both lol, but I'll let her play out in the summer without stressing about his precious pooch needing counselling lol

[Nanny0gg]

This guy sounds like a fucking nut job and his dog sounds potentially harmful. I would be calling the local dog control officer and asking them to pay me a visit. Most of them are really nice people who will assess the situation for you without causing any hassle with next door. Remember to tell them about him not liking you to walk past his house as well. Don't let him intimidate you back into the house or 'shusshing'DD (not that you sound like you would mind you!).

^^ This.

I think I'd be a little concerned about this neighbour. Ring the council and make sure you're always in earshot when your DD is in the garden.

[Blatherskite]

I'd be ringing the dog control officer too. That man has a very skewed idea of where in the pecking order his dog sits and I would be very worried about it's socialisation and him making threats like that against a little girl!

[cozietoesie]

I'm nearly speechless on this one.

Have you talked informally to your landlord in case he's made trouble for previous tenants?

As well as that, I'd be having a quiet word with your local dog warden and community police officer. That 'Just you hope he doesn't work out how to get through the fence!' sounded awfully like a threat to me and you don't want to have to find out - even though you'd be entirely in the right.

Has he caused any other sorts of trouble since you've been there?

[OrangeFootedScrubfowl]

What a nut your neighbour is!

[Saski]

I'd be concerned & treading carefully. The dog has issues and I'd report this, that's also a pretty aggressive stance to take with a neighbor. Your landlord (do you have a common landlord?) might appreciate your substantiating the fact that he actually has a dog if this is a breach of his tenancy agreement.

[wonderingsoul]

you where alot more reframed then me.

i would have laughed instantly, then retorted that my child has human rights not to be stuck indoors allday and is actually allowed in her own back garden.

that you would be reporting the treat that the dog would attack if he got into the garden. becasue basically that is what he is saying.

[lljkk]

Neighbour is loon, I look forward to regular updates from OP.

[Sparklingbrook]

I wonder if loon neighbour does any other bonkers stuff we could laugh at?

[TooTabooToBoo]

I would call 101 and get advice as to me that is a threat and he is clearly bonkers. Police can advise you and there will be a record of this OBE instance should his threats continue.

[TooTabooToBoo]

One instance .

stupid effing phone!

[Sparklingbrook]

I did think about that Too, thought people may think it was an over reaction but it might be a good idea, should anything escalate.

[Booyhoo]

i'm having a 4 year old's birthday party at my house tomorrow. i can move it to your garden if you like?

[TooTabooToBoo]

It would be an over reaction if he wasn't clearly on another planet. I would worry that he'd try and prove a point. Likely he won't, but worth getting advice just incase.

[cozietoesie]

I'm not sure it would be an over-reaction, Sparkling. The thing is that it sounds (forgive me if I've overlooked) as if the OP hasn't lived there that long and she may well have no idea what this man has been up to as well and in the past. That was why I suggested a quiet word with (the landlord and) the CPO.

I did wonder if he was maybe half cut, it being Sunday morning after a possible night before, but even if so it sounds as if it's a regular occurrence. I'd get the incident on the record one way or another.

[TooTabooToBoo]

Yy to cozie. He may have form for anti-social behaviour so reporting may nip it in the bud.

[Sparklingbrook]

Is there a Mrs Bonkers iP?

[Roary1]

I know a lot about this subject as I re-home and rehabilitate damaged animals (who normally come from GENUINELY abusive homes) and are left with behavioural issues. The dangerous dogs act states an animal does not have to bite a child to be put down, scaring a child by barking or snarling can also lead to a dog being destroyed. I would tell him to go to the RSPCA as you will be viewed as a reasonable mum protecting your child and his dog will be viewed as contravening the DDA. It is very unlikely the dog will be destroyed but the police/RSPCA will give him a bollocking and tell him if it continues his dog will be put down. As a dog owner I find it disgusting someone can behave this way it gives many responsible dog owners a bad name.

[IneedAyoniNickname]

To could host a MN meet up in your garden OP

[Fairenuff]

Get a trampoline. Today.

Agreed

[Oldraver]

I'm not surprised by this at all as I had a nutty neighbour the same. If you went into the garden her dogs (next door but one) would go apeshit barking growling and jumping at the small wire fence, she would then hang out the window going apeshit as well. If people walked past the back of her garden down the alley the dogs went mad.

Once her dog chased my cat into our porch and I shoo-ed him away cue neighbour going apeshit again at me. The only thing that solved it was her moving

[TSSDNCOP]

Honestly? I would have laughed in his face. Nutter.

If he comes out again give him fair warning if you can keep a straight face. A third time call 101.