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Nick Ross on rape - warning you may feel the need to punch a wall

484 replies

DuelingFanjo · 25/05/2013 23:09

sorry it's a daily mail link.

I am full of rage, particularly his comments on aggravated rape. Wtf. Presumably he means that there are situations in which he will not be able to stop himself from raping someone because it is aggravated. This has made me so angry. Please they'll me he no longer works for the BBC. I truly hope he loses his career over this. How the hell are we supposed to educate people who think like this?

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 26/05/2013 14:18

LRD

Was that to me?

What was my statement, and what was yours?

CrapsWithBears · 26/05/2013 14:19

Yeah limited, I don't even know how she even knew I had said yes. I have never ever gotten that drunk that I've lost memory of what happened since then and I drank a LOT after it happened too, I'm talking one of those small bottles of vodka to myself and I weighed around 6 1/2 stone at the time. So it did go through my mind that I may have been spiked, but obviously I can't prove anything.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 26/05/2013 14:20

That's awful craps. So many horrible stories on this thread. Sad

bowlers - huh? Confused You asked me a question, I don't know what you want me to clarify?

Bowlersarm · 26/05/2013 14:21

LRD it is possible I am a little confused Grin

LineRunner · 26/05/2013 14:22

Nick Ross is publicity seeking.

And wrong.

CrapsWithBears · 26/05/2013 14:23

The worst bit, is that my family member told my Mum and Dad what I'd said to her, even though it was a load of crap, I just told them I'd been assaulted by a stranger to get them off my back, my Dad just said, 'You should have told us sooner and we could have done something.' No sorry, no comfort, nothing.

The whole thing is what woke me up and made me take an interest in feminism and women's rights.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 26/05/2013 14:25

Oh, god, that's horrible craps.

Is it at all possible your dad didn't know what to say and was feeling guilty for not being there for you?

Still, obviously very much the wrong thing to say.

GettingStrong · 26/05/2013 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrapsWithBears · 26/05/2013 14:28

LRD I think he thought I was lying to be honest, but this was just after I'd downed a bottle of vodka and self-harmed, ending up in hospital. So I expected some sort of sympathy. I sorted myself out after that luckily enough, with my Mum's help.

The worst part for me is not knowing what actually happened, but at the same time I'm lucky that I don't. I don't know how women who are repeatedly raped or suffer worse attacks than me cope. I'm in awe of them.

Bumpotato · 26/05/2013 14:29

Like moxie said upthread, this article I read half and skimmed the rest open-mouthed makes me wonder what Nick himself is hiding and trying to justify.

Bowlersarm · 26/05/2013 14:30

craps so sorry :((

LRDtheFeministDragon · 26/05/2013 14:31

That's horrible, getting. Sad

That reminds me of someone I know - her husband would repetedly get in her face asking 'do you want me to hit you? Are you asking me to hit you? You're asking me to hit you'. Really scary and nasty.

I really hope that juries and the law are beginning to see through this sort of thing and find better ways to help women.

crap, I'm so sorry to read that. Good on your mum.

limitedperiodonly · 26/05/2013 14:34

It doesn't really matter whether your drink has been spiked or whether you have voluntarily or accidently drunk too much craps.

That's one of the red herrings little Nicky Ross zeroes in on. I've no proof but experience tells me that Rohypnol is far less common than alcohol.

The reality is that if you have drunk alcohol, and that could be one glass of wine over the course of a meal, which is very likely on a date or night out, the defence barrister will say your judgement is impaired and introduce the doubt that you didn't know what you were doing, so how the hell could the poor man having sex with you know?

The beauty of a jury system is that ordinary people consider the evidence yet apply their common sense and experience to the story they've heard.

And yet in rape trials jurors suspend that common sense and experience, unless of course, they've never been a woman alone with a man who's had a few drinks or have never been the man in that situation.

Articles like Nick Ross's reinforce that doubt. I am truly at a loss to understand why a seemingly intelligent man would believe that there are legions of women itching to make false claims about rape or fear they might fall victim to one of those deluded harpies.

CrapsWithBears · 26/05/2013 14:36

LRD Did you see the documentary about pedophile rings on Channel 4 the other day? They had rape victims who'd been raped by up to 100 people being interrogated for four months straight by 7 different defense lawyers, repeatedly telling them they're lying and making it up. Frances Andrade killed herself because of the same thing.

The 'system' doesn't care about rape victims. Sad

In fact it cares more about protecting people accused of rape than it does those who've been raped.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 26/05/2013 14:37

redhelenb please read the thread i commented it was not an incident i was involved in.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 26/05/2013 14:39

redhelenb please read the thread i commented it was not an incident i was involved in.

Bowlersarm · 26/05/2013 14:39

limited then 'itching to make false claims'

What's that all about?

limitedperiodonly · 26/05/2013 14:40

craps that's terrible. Unfortunately that's sometimes what people who love you say out of impotence.

I come from a family of blamers who I sometimes want to punch until my hand doesn't work any more, but I know love me really.

I hope your dad loves you too.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 26/05/2013 14:40

I didn't. But that's awful.

I don't think the system does care about rape victims. But I wish that would change and I hope it will. Slowly things do change.

Though, mind you, some of that change may be for the worse. One of the most chilling things I heard was some research that suggested young men who've mostly seen hardcore porn don't recognise the noise or facial expressions that show pain, as opposed to sexual attraction. I found that really disturbing but also scarily plausible.

edam · 26/05/2013 14:40

Nick Ross is a tosser. I met him once, when he chaired a panel at some conference. He imagines he's an expert on everything because he's a TV presenter - this panel was on health, not crime, but he was giving it the big 'I am' as if he knew everything about it. I challenged him on something he'd got wrong, but he was so arrogant he just brushed the facts off and insisted he was right.

Massive sense of entitlement, it seems, causes him to identify with rapists.

CrapsWithBears · 26/05/2013 14:41

America has a TV segment called WWYD? Where they use actors to act out situations to see how the public reacts. In one situation they did drunk women being picked up by sober men and . Most of the people who stepped in where women, some of which had been sexually assaulted, a fucking POLICE OFFICER didn't even step in.

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 26/05/2013 14:42

I saw that CrapswithBears they had 3 weeks each on the stand and they were only kids. The most hideous thing was they only got cross examined by 7 barristers. They named almost 200 rapists so if all those men had been brought to trial they could have been questioned by almost 200 barristers. It probably would have taken about 2 years. Who could bear it?

LRDtheFeministDragon · 26/05/2013 14:44

Huh. Why isn't that surprising, edam?! Very funny that you got to correct him, though.

LeStewpot · 26/05/2013 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

limitedperiodonly · 26/05/2013 15:31

bowlers surely you've noticed the 'cry rape' rhetoric. It's a Daily Mail stalwart but you don't have to read the Mail to notice it because the myth is widespread. On the rare occasions a woman is prosecuted for making a false claim it's rightly reported, but with far more alacrity than convictions for rape.

It's what makes otherwise sensible men fear that they might have consensual sex and end up in a police station. Some women fear it for their men too.

I detected it in your own post which is why I replied telling you to calm yourself. I might have got it wrong though and you might have no such fears. If that's the case, please accept my apologies.