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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not be entirely sure what my sister wants me to say or do?

58 replies

CrapBag · 25/05/2013 14:46

Nothing major, trivial stuff really but its bugging me and I am wondering if I should be saying or doing something more.

My sister had my kids (5 and 2) for the first time recently. They enjoyed it and so did she. However when they were there I got a text to say that they had their tea, liked it and were ready for bed and one of them had moved her dogs collar and she couldn't find it. Confused I just replied that I was glad they were ok (the 2 year old was a bit upset when I left her as she isn't used to staying away from me). My sister can get in slightly funny moods sometimes and I had a feeling that she was pissed off that the collar had been moved, but god knows what I was suppose to do about it.

She said to pick them up any time the next day when I asked what time she wanted me to get them. Then in the morning I got a text saying "pick them up between 2-3. Giving them dinner and taking them out now" No, "can you come between 2-3" or anything. We could have been out somewhere although we weren't. We went up there at the time she said. I asked if they had been ok as that is what I thought the slightly off messages were about and she said they were fine. I knew she was going out that evening so I asked her if she was going out earlier than planned (hence the "pick them up x") and she said she wasn't, so I just left it at that. Then she made a point of telling me that DS (the 5 year old) had got nail varnish on her bedding. I called him in and told him off, that he wasn't to do that, old enough to know better, apologise to aunt, that sort of thing. DSis then said it was ok, she had already told him off.

A week later I got a text out of the blue asking if I knew how to remove nail varnish off from bedding. I have a feeling this is her way of telling me its still there and she can't get it off. I said I didn't know, try vanish and if not look up on the net as there was bound to be something on there. Then I felt obliged to help so I looked it up and there was something but too long for me to explain so I told her where to find it as it would be easier for her to read herself. She said vanish hadn't worked, no mention of finding out info for herself so I told her exactly what I had found. Got a text back saying "not happy, it was really expensive" then "I'll try it but doubt it will work"

I asked her when we picked the kids up about having them and she said she enjoyed it and would do it anytime, the kids liked staying there so I am sure this isn't her way of saying she doesn't want them again. She is NOT backward in coming forward so she would have said if she didn't want to have them again.

Is she expecting more from me or am I reading too much into it?

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 25/05/2013 16:21

Washable Fibers

Follow these steps to remove nail polish stains from washable fibers like Acrylic Fabric, Burlap Cotton, Linen, Modacrylic, Nylon, Olefin, Polyester, Rope or Spandex.
?Scrape the excess.
?Test acetone on an inconspicuous place.
?If fiber color doesn't change, flush acetone through the stain to an absorbent pad.
?When no more stain is being removed, change pads and flush well with dry-cleaning solvent.
?Allow to dry thoroughly.

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 25/05/2013 16:31

You were still there when your DS went upstairs 'for quite sometime' on his own, you are going to raise this with your sister...but as the parent, you were still the supervisi g adult, you should have checked up on him then, and set the boundaries at that point.

NotSoNervous · 25/05/2013 16:57

She wants you to pay for them. If you could afford to it might be a nice gesture but you can't and as you said they were in her care and she should have been watching them. If she didn't want them in her bedroom she should have told them.

IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat · 25/05/2013 17:51

You could give a couple of cleaning companies a call and see if they could get it out. My local Johnsons has got out so many different stains for me that I couldn't shift myself. Once they cleaned a posh dress 5 times as they were determined to get it perfect and only charged me for the one cleaning.

Hopefully it would be around the £30 mark and you could offer half the cost.

PaperSeagull · 25/05/2013 18:27

Offer to have the item professionally cleaned or replace it. IMO, it is your responsiblity since your child damaged the item. If you can't afford it right away, offer to pay in installments as someone above suggested.

RawShark · 25/05/2013 19:44

Firstly I don't think it is your responsibility unless he did it on purpose. My DS won't know not to play with nail varnish because I don't wear it.

If it was my sister she would want me to offer to pay to show willing and then not let me. But would have made her point from her point of view Hmm

BabetteAteOatmeal · 25/05/2013 20:02

Personally I would never expect reimbursement from my sister or any friend if their children damaged anything when I was looking after them especially if it was an accident. I think your sister is being a bit unreasonable to be so precious about her bedding. However if you want to offer to try to clean the duvet cover, there is a Stain Devil by Dr Beckmann which has dealt with everything my DCs have done so far.

TheCrackFox · 25/05/2013 20:03

The dry cleaners might have some sort of magic potion. Worth a shot?

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