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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH if he leaves me I will screw him for everything he's got.....

112 replies

AmadeusRocks · 24/05/2013 19:54

My bastard DH has this evening made a joke saying "if I left you for my secretary you'd be financially screwed", I am 36 weeks pregnant and already worrying about money Hmm and hormonal. I quipped back "well if you leave me I will take you for everything you've got" and he was horrified!

I've kicked him out for the night to stew at his mothers. Seriously, what sort of arsehole makes that comment to a pregnant woman, especially when I've just passed up promotion opportunity which would DOUBLE my salary to bear his children!

So WIBU to react like that?

OP posts:
WilsonFrickett · 24/05/2013 22:18

Are you both 12? It's not really usual to keep discussing what would happen in the event of a split - unless you're planning to split. (In which case, why did you pass up a promotion?) As for kicking him out... I take it the house is in your name?

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 24/05/2013 22:27

If you've been married for 10 years or so, it doesn't matter who's name the house is in, in the event of a divorce. Everything is put into the pot and divided equally. If you have to provide a home for your DC, you will generally get a bit more than half.

My ex and I used to joke about who would have to keep the rather annoying cat, but we never talked seriously about splitting. My career 'sacrifice' (our joint decision, of course Hmm ) wasn't compensated for at all.

I hope it's just a hormone filled spat, but I think you have to think very seriously about any underlying tensions.

HappyMummyOfOne · 24/05/2013 22:30

You both sound childish. You are "bearing his child" for him, err no you are having a baby together.

If you have given up your job and promotion just because you will have a child then you need to live with the consequences. Relying on another adult totally is a recipe for disaster should things go wrong. He would only be liable for child support in line with CSA rates and you would be left out to dry with no job.

SavoyCabbage · 24/05/2013 22:39

Why did he go so far as to name a specific person that he would leave you for? Why not just say "if we split up you would be screwed".

I think a lot of women would be up the creek if their husbands left them during this stage of their lives. I would have been.

scottishmummy · 24/05/2013 22:54

stop being so passive.no one bears a man children
parenthood,it's not a giving things up competition.only decline what you willing to
don't hope/expect giving stuff up makes you better mum.it doesn't

Original poster
AmadeusRocks · 24/05/2013 22:58

I think my waters have just broken Shock

OP posts:
RhondaJean · 24/05/2013 22:59

Oh Christ on a bike.

scottishmummy · 24/05/2013 23:00

in that case you have more to be doing than updating mn

Original poster
AmadeusRocks · 24/05/2013 23:00

I went for a wee and without being too graphic, some clear water and a load of gunk just sort of exploded all over the toilet.....been having what I thought were bad braxton hicks for the last two days, mw agreed they probably were

OP posts:
Loulybelle · 24/05/2013 23:01

Oh fuck, i guess DH is needed badly.

rabbitlady · 24/05/2013 23:01

don't tell him any such thing. he's a prat and you might need to get rid one day, so keep your mouth shut for now and gather all your evidence (of his assets and earnings). do it while he's out at his mother's. keep quiet and update from time to time. put emergency money in a bank account he knows nothing of, little and often. copy your favourite photos and store them and your documentary evidence with family, not friends.

he made a daft remark but now he knows you take such things seriously; he might not ever do it again. but just in case, be ready. then if it comes to it, you will be much more confident about saying 'see you then. bye.'

Original poster
AmadeusRocks · 24/05/2013 23:01

I think I have gone into panic mode, I don't feel ready for this Sad

OP posts:
Loulybelle · 24/05/2013 23:01

That sounds like broken waters alright.

scottishmummy · 24/05/2013 23:03

word of advice,conserve your mental/physical energies no more mn
prioritise
and mn isn't priority at moment

marriedinwhiteagain · 24/05/2013 23:03

Then you had better phone him and ime you don't "think" your waters have broken - they go with a woosh and leave half a bucket of puddle.

scottishmummy · 24/05/2013 23:05

don't expect to hear from you again given circumstances
contact your dh

RhondaJean · 24/05/2013 23:05

They can trickle though, depending on where the baby is sat.

Better get a hold of him op, you can update us when it's all over.

Good luck!

lovesherdogstoomuch · 24/05/2013 23:06

sorry but that's a horrible thing to say to your heavily pregnant wife. WTF? seriously. that's horrible. i would question him closely. why would he say that?

QuintessentialOldDear · 24/05/2013 23:07

Time to call your husband and call a truce. Good luck. Come back to update, ok?

CremeEggThief · 24/05/2013 23:10

Wow! What a twist in the thread!

WorraLiberty · 24/05/2013 23:13

I'm quite baffled actually having read the OP's other thread about money.

They both seem very financially secure.

KirjavaTheCat · 24/05/2013 23:14

Wow!

marriedinwhiteagain · 24/05/2013 23:14

Give us an update in the morning. Good luck; where's your mum?

RhondaJean · 24/05/2013 23:15

What other thread worra?

BabylonReturns · 24/05/2013 23:17

Live birth thread??