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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if I imagined two pregnancies and giving birth to two dc?

40 replies

SgtTJCalhoun · 22/05/2013 15:24

Dd is stunningly beautiful (she is, she really is) she gets it from her aunt (SIL)
Ds has a very dry sense of humour, he gets that from MIL.
Dd loves to read, she gets that from her other aunt (SIL)
Ds loves to travel, does research for our hols etc, he gets that from FIL.
Both are VERY bright, they get that from their Dad.
Ds is made about cars, he gets that from his great grandad, GGDIL.
Dd is very creative, she gets that from MIL.
Ds has got huge, beautiful blue eyes, gets that from MIL too.

Of only I had had some worthwhile attributes to pass on to my children........Sad

OP posts:
HumphreyCobbler · 22/05/2013 15:28

They may well be bright because of you. They may well be creative because of you. You may well have an excellent sense of humour that you have given to your kids.

I know what you mean about looks, my kids don't look like me either.

WorraLiberty · 22/05/2013 15:32

So they get nothing from themselves?

My ex MIL used to sit there constantly listing what my kids did/liked/said etc...and attributing it all to every single member of the family.

I'm surprised she didn't include the bloody dog Grin

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/05/2013 15:35

My DF, who is lovely but tactless, told the assembled company that he hoped DD (then a few weeks old) took after DSIL who ran for her country and is lovely and fantastic and blah blah blah (she is but still). Since I had just spent two weeks in hospital producing, then worrying about DD I told him, in no uncertain terms, that I sort of hoped she took after his daughter.

DaveDeeDozyBeakyMickAndTitch · 22/05/2013 15:41

My mum always used to say I got my dark hair from my father. My STEP-father. Seriously.

LifeSavedbyLego · 22/05/2013 15:41

MIL and FIL wondered loud and long about ds1 colouring, where could this very fair child with slightly red hair have come from. Mention second cousin Eric, Great aunt Ethel as possibilities etc. Got out the families trees discussed with GMIL again at length. Went on for sodding ages.

I found this very amusing as the were talking to me, whilst looking at me at the time. Yup you guessed it.

now ds1 is slightly older they are less keen to claim him as their own Sad. As he can be hard work on occasion.

Ds2 is apparently his father again. though on is one they may have a point

Original poster
SgtTJCalhoun · 22/05/2013 15:43

That what I mean! Some of these traits I have but credit is always taken by the Inlaws!

I remember ex H saying to his Mum "doesn't DS look like Sgt Mum?"

Her reply "well no, I am sorry but I just can't see it" . Grin

OP posts:
elvisola · 22/05/2013 15:50

Oh yes. DD2 who is an absolute clone of me, down to the mole on the hand apparently is the spitting image of DH when he was a child. When challenged, by various people who point out the ridiculous similarity, her response is that " oh well you and DH look ever so similar yourselves"!!!

He is a 6ft dark haired bodybuilder type, I am blonde, slight and 5 ft nothing. I'm not sure which of us should be more offended.

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/05/2013 15:53

It is odd when random strangers stop us in the street and tell me I have a Mini Me but DMIL (who is sadly gone now) and my DF both absolutely couldn't see it.

OneoftheseBoxes · 22/05/2013 15:54

I know what you mean - I feel like my dd is 'claimed' too much by family. I try to view it that its because they love her so much (although it still really winds me up, she's mine and dh's damn it...)

KellyElly · 22/05/2013 16:01

My ex is like this - DD gets her height from him (he is 5'10 lol) even though all the men in my family are above 6 foot and the women above 5'7 (apart from me), her creativity from him etc etc. He's happy to pass on the bad traits - when she is stubborn and moody that's me (if you knew his personality that would make you laugh!!).

DaisyBD · 22/05/2013 16:02

My ex's wife, who I am on good terms with, wondered out loud one day (to me) about whether their son, my son's half brother, got his teeth from me. From me Confused

UniqueAndAmazing · 22/05/2013 16:05

i'm guilty of this too.
i think it's because people try to see what the resemblance is from further back iyswim.

dd has my mum's mouth and my dh's mum's nose.
mainly because his nose doesn't loo like his mum's (it's a very masculine version) and i look like my dad more than my mum, so it must be hers and not mine.

obviously, DD's genius comes from me, and so does her strangeness Grin

UniqueAndAmazing · 22/05/2013 16:06

ah, teeth - yy, DD seems to be getting my teeth.

okay, i'm claiming t he whole of her for myself.
Grin

thecatcamebacktheverynextday · 22/05/2013 16:14

It could be worse - my inlaws not only 'claim' parts of DD come from various members of their family, when it comes to photos at their family events, I'm not even allowed in photos. They wait until I go to the loo or something Sad.

The last time that happened at a party and I saw the photos a few weeks later, I declared in a loud voice that DD must have been brought to earth by a stork rather than from her mother's vagina Grin

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 22/05/2013 16:15

DD is a clever, beautiful chatterbox. This is of course inherited from her aunt, my SIL. because obviously little girls of 2/3/4/5 whatever are never usually chatty, pretty or smart Hmm

DS's cheeky grin is from his dad apparently. His filthy temper and tendency to overreact to everything is down to me, his mum again Hmm

Naturally though my own mum has the opposite opinion Grin except DD gets her brains from Nanny. modest to a fault is my mum

CoffeeChocolateWine · 22/05/2013 16:23

Ha ha, this sounds so familiar! Admittedly, DS is the spitting image of DH an oh how the ILs like to go on about it but now that he's getting a bit older (he's 4) there's a lot of personality traits and interests that I like to think might come more from my side of the family.

In particular, music. He loves music and especially the piano and even though he's only 4 I'm seeing something that could resemble a talent when he's older. I'm beyond grade 8 piano, my mother is an excellent pianist, at the height of his career my grandad (DM's dad) was one of the finest pianists in the world. My grandma was also a wonderful pianist too although the harp was her main instrument.

So do you think my ILs could give me this ONE THING - that perhaps DS may have inherited an interest in piano from my side? Nooooo, because MIL's brother learnt the piano when he was little and got to grade 3 so it could well come from their side of the family too. Grrrr...

freddiefrog · 22/05/2013 16:39

My InLaws do this too.

DD1 is very arty - gets that from their side of the family as SiL did art A level
DD1 is also quite athletic - also gets that from their side of the family as BiL used to play football
DD2 has just been in the local paper because of a show she was in - gets that from their side of the family as SiL used to get the big parts in the school plays
DD2 likes baking - takes after MiL (who in the 22 years I've known her, has never made toast, let alone a cake)
DD1 likes cooking so she takes after her grandfather (DH's stepfather) who is a chef
DD2 is learning piano - takes after SiL as she learned the recorder

Both my girls get their looks from their side of the family as well apparently - actually, DD1 is the absolute spit of me

According to them, nothing came from my side of the family - even though I used to make wedding cakes for a living - not arty or a liking of baking at all Hmm, I did ballet for years and learned the piano to quite a high grade, my Dad is a very good artist and my mum used to run for her county, none of it came from my side though Hmm

They never want to take credit for any of the naughtiness though

ballinacup · 22/05/2013 16:45

GMIL (rest her soul) spent a good thirty minutes staring at newborn DS and muttering under her breath 'He definitely looks like someone.... Aunt Wini? Uncle George? Goodness, he looks so.... familiar... I just can't place it."

He looks like ME! The person he fell out of!

MummytoMog · 22/05/2013 16:48

My apples didn't fall far from the tree, except that they're both blonde. Like creepy blonde. Like Village of the Damned blonde. Me, but blonde. And much more beautiful of course Wink

Original poster
SgtTJCalhoun · 22/05/2013 16:52

Grin I get left out of photos too.

MIL was actually unable to hide her happiness when I split with ex. I think she honestly thought that she would get my dc all to herself and be in charge without their inconvenient mother making a nuisance of herself. As it is ex is as selfish as be ever was and pretty much all contact between dc and in laws is still left to me just as it always was.

OP posts:
foslady · 22/05/2013 16:52

I used to say I wanted a DNA test done on dd to find out who the mother was...........she too got nothing from me or my side of the family........

MrsLyman · 22/05/2013 16:53

Perhaps it's some subconscious thing that ILs do to reassure themselves that the grandchildren are genetically related to them. I'm not suggesting that there is any reason that all your ILs think they might not be btw and these comments are maliciously intended, just that we all KNOW that children are related to the mother, but really we only ever have the mother's word for it that they're related to the father so there needs to be other 'evidence'.

HopALongMcLimpyLegs · 22/05/2013 16:54

Ds is the spitting image of his dad and my MIL goes on and on about her is exactly like DH was as a baby and he's so much like his grandad and great grandad and blah blah blah. You would never know hewas child at all.
Except he very clearly had the same grey Blue eyes that me, my dad and every single person on my side of the family have. I hold onto that fact. And then when he trips over his own feet and smacks his melon head on the coffee table I become even more certain that he got some stuff from me.

ginmakesitallok · 22/05/2013 16:57

My 2 DDs apparently get everything from DPs side of the family. It's like my family and I had nothing whatsoever to do with their production. DP and I are both brown haired - 2 DDs are blonde. DMIL (brown) insists they get it from their side of the family, didn't budge even when I showed her a picture of me as a child with blonde hair...

freddiefrog · 22/05/2013 17:03

I get left out of photos as well, once I even got cropped out of my own photo

We went to Disneyland Paris, and had a photo with Mickey and some bear in a sailor hat whose name escapes me. The way we were grouped meant DH and the kids were together and I was the other side of the sailor-hatted bear.

I posted the pic on Facebook and the next time we visited I noticed she'd lifted the pic of my FB page, cropped me out of it and had it framed. The only wedding pic of ours they have is one of DH, MiL and stepFiL. Strange woman