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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if I imagined two pregnancies and giving birth to two dc?

40 replies

SgtTJCalhoun · 22/05/2013 15:24

Dd is stunningly beautiful (she is, she really is) she gets it from her aunt (SIL)
Ds has a very dry sense of humour, he gets that from MIL.
Dd loves to read, she gets that from her other aunt (SIL)
Ds loves to travel, does research for our hols etc, he gets that from FIL.
Both are VERY bright, they get that from their Dad.
Ds is made about cars, he gets that from his great grandad, GGDIL.
Dd is very creative, she gets that from MIL.
Ds has got huge, beautiful blue eyes, gets that from MIL too.

Of only I had had some worthwhile attributes to pass on to my children........

OP posts:

motherinferior · 22/05/2013 17:11

DP's mum used to attribute every single bloody aspect of her PFGB's appearance to her or, at a pinch, to her husband's family. This was the baby that everyone, everyone said looked exactly like me.

Original poster

SgtTJCalhoun · 22/05/2013 17:14

sorry Freddie but that really made me laugh. It's terrible isn't it? I can't imagine ever being like that. Hope not anyway .

OP posts:

Tailtwister · 22/05/2013 17:16

It's weird when people do that isn't it! I don't know how on earth children 'get' things from anyone. They are their own person, have their own attributes and likes/dislikes. As for looks...I don't see either of us in our boys.

Oldraver · 22/05/2013 17:20

My MIL used to go on and on about how DS looks so like his Dad, how he has amazing eyes like his Dad etc etc all his good attributes from his Dad but he's got your nose. Used to drive me barmy, he didnt get his blue eyes or blonde hair form me, oh no

Then I had DS2 who has a different father, though you wouldn't know it all to look at him, same blue eyes, blonde hair etc. Maybe just maybe its because I was blonde haired blue eyed as a child

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 22/05/2013 17:39

MIL made me laugh the other day, she was saying about the grandkids having family traits, got to my niece and said "Luckily you got your brains from your mum!" - MIL was referring to her DIL being brighter than her own son - she tells it like it is .
I have had all the "oh they look like Daddy" etc.
But then my Grandad can attribute all characteristics to my side of the family too. I think my Grandad must have better eyesight lol.

glam71 · 22/05/2013 18:18

o yes dd is tall like her daddy according to mil. He's 5ft 10 and she is the 2nd shortest in her year. mil conveniently forgets that both her uncle and grandad on my side were well over 6ft.

LisaMed · 22/05/2013 18:50

I was actually standing next to my MIL a fortnight after pfb was born and she told someone that it was a good job my pfb looked like his father.

She then went scarlet when she saw the shock on the poor woman's face!

OverAndAbove · 22/05/2013 19:13

Ah, d'you know, I don't really mind this kind of conversation (and I speak as a small blonde who married into a pack of tall dark people).

If it's the PILs, it's them assimilating my child into their family history, and finding her place. I think that kind of thing is important to the older generation. They want to know that the genes are being continued, and that they have that strong link to their antecedents.

If it's my side, I just think of it as an opportunity to learn more about Great Aunty Betty who drove an ambulance in the war, or Grandma Sal who ran off with an Irish man and was never seen again but clearly handed on that feisty side of her temperament.

I actually like it. I like it better than when people say she looks so like me because she has vaguely similar colouring, whereas in fact she looks nothing like me and I think there may have been a slip-up at the hospital!

Ilovemyrabbits · 22/05/2013 19:19

My dd gets everything from DH's side, according to MIL. I guess she just focusses on the bits she likes about DD and then attributes it to her son her daughter and, of course, herself. I do believe, however, that now DD is 12 and sullen and slightly snarky, she'll be taking after me any time now :)

IneedAyoniNickname · 22/05/2013 19:22

LifeSavedbyLego

MIL and FIL wondered loud and long about ds1 colouring, where could this very fair child with slightly red hair have come from. Mention second cousin Eric, Great aunt Ethel as possibilities etc. Got out the families trees discussed with GMIL again at length. Went on for sodding ages.

I found this very amusing as the were talking to me, whilst looking at me at the time. Yup you guessed it.

Sounds just like my exs family. When pale skinned, blonde haired ds1 was born they discussed for ages where he got his colouring from. Umm, his pale skinned, blonde haired Mum maybe? ExMil actually accused me of having an affair as 'there's no one in our family with that colouring'

Then when ds2 was born, we had the whole thing over again (without the accusation of infidelity) because he has completely different colouring to his brother. The basics of genetics have passed them by I fear! And interestingly, both of my ex sils went on to have very pale skinned, blonde haired sons!

openerofjars · 22/05/2013 19:33

SMiL once claimed that the DC's blonde hair came from her.

They are not related by blood and she isn't a natural blonde.

She also on a seperate occasion said they wouldn't be musical if they took after her.

It's the Lambrusco medication talking.

LifeSavedbyLego · 22/05/2013 19:59

Ineedayoni. At least they didn't accuse me of have an affair, so can be thankful for small mercies, which is a relief because ds1 and 2 look very very different.

Ds1 now has proper red hair (apparently when my father had hair it was red, who knew?) is broad shouldered and stocky like me and very fair skin. Ds2 is very tall very slim like dh with tanned skin and wavy brown hair.

DewDr0p · 22/05/2013 20:10

Oh yes my MIL is like this too.

Ds1 was apparently cloned from dh with no involvement of my genes at all. His previously curly hair was inherited from dh (who has straight hair) and has no connection to my pre-raphaelite curls, oh no. The fact that he is the spitting image of my mum is beside the point

Ds2 is the spitting image of his cousin. even though they don't really look very alike at all

She lays no claim whatsoever to ds3, to my bemusement. Does he look like your people? she enquired. Not sure whether to be relieved/bemused or upset on ds3's behalf?

CatsRule · 22/05/2013 20:11

Every little thing my ds does my mil says it's all from dh. He looks like dh (which actually he does), acts like dh, makes faces like dh, drools only like dh did blah blah...aparently I've had nothing to do with my ds and certainly nothing to do with my family

Flibbertyjibbet · 22/05/2013 20:34

Ds1 is a mini me of dp. Looks just like bils ds1. Pils always on about how ds1 is just like his daddy and how th two cousins are so alike and just like dp and bil when they were little.

Ours and bils ds2s are both the image of their mothers - me and sil. Pils never ever mention this. It's almost as if those two children have a genetic history that doesn't count.

Both times I gave birth mil and fil cane to the hosp, took pics of each other sitting on my bed, cuddling the baby. None of me. Then rushed off to get the pics developed at the 1 hour place (back in the day!) so they could show off the pics of them and their grandson without any pics of me to spoil their brag fest.

When ds1 was born he didn't have a newborn prune face. I shall never forget how mil picked him up and actually expressed shock at how beautiful he was. And I sat there thinking 'and what did you expect, out of MY fanjo????'

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