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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that giving a 6yo a playtime detention is not on?

95 replies

BrokenBananaTantrum · 19/05/2013 18:39

DD who is in Year 2 and is 6yo got 7 out of 11 in her spelling test on Friday. She has been told that she will lose all her playtime on Monday to write out the spellings again. She was in tears when she got home and told us.

AIBU to think this is not on at all. They brought the rule in a couple of weeks ago that if they don't 8 or more out of 11 they lose their playtime. Parents have not been informed of this officially.

DH is taking her to school in the morning and is going to challenge this with her teacher. Would love advice on the best approach.

Thanks

OP posts:

nextphase · 19/05/2013 21:20

Yep, you can be a good reader, and appalling at spelling. Apparently I read tho looking at the shape, and that doesn't always help with the spelling (ee/ea/ae all the same shape)
I'd have been that child staying in after every spelling test ;(

Mumsyblouse · 19/05/2013 21:28

It is perfectly possible to be dyslexic and learn to read quite well, but spell really badly. What on earth are the bad spellers going to do, the ones who take all week to get 2/10 right? And why do they all do 11- half the children won't get all 11 right, and I bet there will be a lot of tears over this, 6 years olds still get quite upset if they are punished unfairly.

I wonder if this is SAT motivated- if she's in Y2? Ours have just had an extra push on spellings.

Just let the teacher know that you don't consider this motivating.

ljny · 19/05/2013 21:35

Is it possible she could learn to read really well but still be dyslexic?

It's possible - my DC1 was, and did. As a result, she didn't read until age 8/9. With extra support at various points, she did quite well at school and uni.

DC3 had some similar, but milder, traits early on. We did not push for testing and she, too, did well at school and uni.

Children progress differently. Your family is obviously sensitive to learning difficulties. Please don't let this teacher's out-dated punishment exacerbate your understandable concerns.

Sounds like your daughter was doing extremely well until this. I obviously don't know if she's dyslexic, but for heaven's sake, she's 6. She's allowed to fail a few spelling tests or have some off days!

For now, she mostly needs you to stick to your guns about this ridiculous detention, and not let it derail her confidence. As quoteunquote so rightly said. Good luck to your DH on Monday!

fluffypillow · 19/05/2013 21:35

YANBU. Children shouldn't be punished for getting spellings wrong.

I hope you make your feelings clear to the Teacher, as you are completely in the right.

Cherriesarelovely · 19/05/2013 21:42

Same as everyone else! What a horrible, demotivating, negative approach to learning. I just read this quote in one of the Sunday Papers "you call it a mistake I call it learning". I liked that.

Boomba · 19/05/2013 21:42

My dd is dyslexic and reads well, now, at age 8. But she wasn't reading at all until last year. She had considerable help and worked very hard

I think it would be very unlikely that she is dyslexic if she can just spontaneously read well,at her age

Sommink · 19/05/2013 21:42

I was always top of the class for reading, was sent to the jnrs for books because I had read all the infant ones but could never spell, I used to rewrite sentences to make sure I didnt have to spell certain words, and still spell so badly the spell check has no idea what word I was going for!

If dd's school implemented this I would not be at all happy and would be going in to see what was happening.

ReallyTired · 19/05/2013 21:47

Keeping a six year old in at break to practice spellings or reading is unfair. It would be fairer to punish the parents who should be helping the child learn their spellings.

Original poster

BrokenBananaTantrum · 19/05/2013 21:59

Thanks again everyone. Some interesting stuff about dyslexia for me to look into. Will have a chat with the SENCO at the school I work in to see what if anything I can be doing.
I agree that she was doing well up to now. She has had 2 poor scores (6/11 and 7/11) over the year but has also had some 11 out of 11 scores too.
Will take your advice about going in gently at first and not going off on one although that is what I would like to do.
I teach in a secondary school and would never use detention or any other punishment for poor performance as I think it is very demotivating.
Hope DH can sort this tomorrow and she can stop worrying about it.
As we have not had any official notice about this I'm unsure as to whether this has been instigated by the head or DD's class teacher.

OP posts:

girliefriend · 19/05/2013 22:01

Let us know how you get on tomos, my dd is a confident reader as well but her spellings are very hit and miss so going on what you have said I wouldn't be too worried.

Remotecontrolduck · 19/05/2013 22:01

That is awful. If a child is consistently getting low scores on spelling tests, you give them support, not punish them! No wonder so many kids hate school and learning if this is how they get treated.

They're 6 ffs, 8 out of 11 doesn't leave much room for having a bad day, or just having poor/average spelling ability.

Original poster

BrokenBananaTantrum · 19/05/2013 22:02

Would also like some advice on how to help her learn them. I sit with her each night and she writes them out and they are on her whiteboard in her room all week. She says them as she writes them and any that she finds hard I use magnetic letters on a whiteboard. I will put the letters on for the word but leave some out for her to fill in.
Is there a better way?

OP posts:

Original poster

BrokenBananaTantrum · 19/05/2013 22:03

Will let you know what happens.
Thanks again everyone.

OP posts:

vintagecakeisstillnice · 19/05/2013 22:27

My junior school did this. Spelling test on a Monday morning. By 4 on a Sunday my stomach was turning, by 7 I would be hysterical. I would have spent all weekend practising.

Mum & Dad did all they could but I couldn't spell.
And it wasn't the missing of the playtime it was the 'shame' and for me as a very advanced reader it was assumed I was just not bothering to learn them.

It's wasn't till I started secondary school that I was tested for dyslexia and at 11 was found to have the reading age of a 18 year old but that my ability to spell (and tell direction) was pathetic. That was the word the tester used.

Please challenge this. I hated junior school, even now 28 years later I still feel sick when we pass the school.
If I hadn't had the support of my parents and I still remembers Mum arguing with the teacher, saying there has to be something going on here she tries and tries. And the teacher claiming that there was no way that I could have spent anytime even looking at the spelling.

I am and always have been a 'good' reader of I was bored and had nothing else I would read the encyclopaedia, means I'm good at pub quizzes. In other words yes it's possible to be s good reader and be dyslexic.

Nanny0gg · 19/05/2013 22:31

Read, Say, Cover, Write, Check.

Read the word. Say it out loud. Cover it up. Write it down. Check it.

With each one. Also, use it in context in a sentence. Don't just write it and write it.

Oh.
And the teacher was wrong.

nannyof3 · 19/05/2013 22:36

I think its terrible... Some children are that great at spelling.. Its awful!

vintagecakeisstillnice · 19/05/2013 22:36

Oh and recent research says there is a 50% chance of passing on dyslexia.

For me when I hit secondary and found a sympathetic teacher ( English teacher who saw I loved reading and how much spelling freaked me) she was the one who arranged my test.

Anyway one thing that helped was using fuzzy felt letters and feeling the shape. So as I was saying the letter and the the sound I was tracing it. Does that make sense?

WestieMamma · 19/05/2013 22:42

I would have loved this punishment as a kid. I hated playtime so I'd be spelling everything wrong on purpose.

CloudsAndTrees · 19/05/2013 22:53

That's a good point Westie.

When my ds was in Y6 he used to avoid doing maths homework so that he could stay inside at break time and do it then. He has Aspergers, and was on the G&T list for maths so was perfectly capable, he just didn't particularly like break time! It took a couple of months to work out what was going on, but eventually he admitted he had made an informed choice to do his homework at break time because he had other things he would rather be doing at home, and they didn't get to play football at morning break anyway so he may as well stay inside and do homework then!

These punishments that schools hand out need to be thought through!

BrokenBanana, good luck to your DH, let us know how he gets on.

WestieMamma · 19/05/2013 23:03

I have Aspergers too. Just goes to show how brilliant minds think alike .

sashh · 20/05/2013 07:30

Is it possible she could learn to read really well but still be dyslexic?

Yes, big time. I was in the bottom set for English until they did a reading age test with the entire year. We were 12/13, the reading age goes up to 18, I was off the scale.

I still can't spell, I use spell checks and other software.

I think it is ridiculous to treat your daughter this way. This is the way I was treated, except my English teacher had a habit of kicking you on the shins for every word got wrong. It is unfair, demoralising and counter productive.

Punishments should only be given for doing something wrong.

You are doing all you can OP, but give this a try, see what she is like without learning her spellings? I used to get the same mark no matter how much I tried, trying was a waste of time.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 20/05/2013 08:39

It's like the 1970's all over again! You can't teach through fear.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 20/05/2013 08:40

I hope you will update Banana...this isn't on at all.

nextphase · 20/05/2013 09:25

ReallyTired Please be carful saying parents aren't helping their child to spell. Yes, in some cases poor spelling test results can be down to lack of parental involvment, but if you read how the OP has tried to help her chikld, I don't think you can say that about her.

25 years on, I can still remember the battles I had with my mother learning spellings. Both of us often in tears (and I'm welling up typing this) It was horrible on both sides, and it was the dedication of my mother that got me 3/10, 4/10 each week.

TheSmallPrint · 20/05/2013 09:53

My 5yo reception child got a playtime detention last week. he thumped another child (never done it before so not a habitual trouble maker!). I thought it was perfectly reasonable and so did he funnily enough.

However, being kept in for not getting spellings right is outrageous so on that front YANBU.

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