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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

'I don't want to share air space with this individual' Bus buggy issue

64 replies

Hummuschocolate · 19/05/2013 13:56

If on the off chance the woman who said this on a North London bus during a luggage vs buggy barney is reading this, is there anything we as the other passengers could have done to support you. I've been thinking about it since it happened (this morning) and I'm not sure if we really did 'community' well. I think you were in the right but you did seem to be holding your own so was it ok for us to sit back and cringe. Hope you are okay now, you did sound a bit shaken.

OP posts:

gordyslovesheep · 19/05/2013 14:38

haha this is the thread version of those 'oh something awful happened' ...'what hun???' ...'can't say' facebook statuses isn't it

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 19/05/2013 14:39

Why is everyone getting so irate? Do you really give that much of a shit?

BonaDrag · 19/05/2013 14:39

Yawn.

I saw a fight in Poundland once.

But I'm not going to tell you anything more.

Original poster

Hummuschocolate · 19/05/2013 14:41

Okay, but I suspect there may be mental health issues involved so I'm going to try and be sensitive to this and hopefully any discussion that follows will be too.

When I boarded the bus there was not many people on it but there was lots of boxes, bags, something that looked like a big heater, a toilet seat and other bits and pieces in the wheelchair/buggy area. There was a man talking loudly and seemingly a bit irrationally but not aggressively to the driver. He was also occasionally singing and had a box of old toys and I think blankets that he seemed to be rearranging. The wheelchair buggy area was full of this stuff.

After a while the man went and stood in the wheelchair/buggy area with all the stuff and started rearranging it, it was obvious that it belonged to him. He was singing quietly at this point.

Then a woman gets on with a buggy. She sighs when she sees the stuff in the wheelchair/buggy area and sounds a bit exasperated as she asks the driver to move it. See this is where it gets a bit confusing. I think the man agreed to move it but was a bit shouty and maybe sighed a bit, she then got a bit shouty and something about it being legal for her to have the space. She told the man to stop shouting and said she didn't want to talk to him. She asked the driver to stop the bus as it wasn't safe for her to have the buggy there (she was still by the driver). At some point the driver told her she could go into the buggy area (I think luggage man had started moving his stuff) but she complained that his stuff was still there (it was, there was loads of it).

This all happened very quickly, there was a bit more shouting, she made the air space comment and they both got of the bus. Luggage man said that buggy lady had mental health issues. It took him a while to get all his stuff off and he apologised to the rest of his but tried to get us to agree with him that she was a 'miserable woman'. I gave a big sigh and we all carried on as if nothing had happened.

I passed the opposite direction about and hour and a half later and luggage man was sitting not far from where he got off outside ladbrokes on an old chair, no sign of his luggage. He saluted me, its never dull in North London eh

OP posts:

DomesticCEO · 19/05/2013 14:44

Buggy woman had no legal right to the space!

Original poster

Hummuschocolate · 19/05/2013 14:45

no neither of them had a legal right to it

OP posts:

crashdoll · 19/05/2013 14:47

Well, that's 40 seconds of my life I'm never getting back.....

belfastbigmillie · 19/05/2013 14:47

So basically a loud bossy woman bullied a man with a mental health issue on a bus and you all sat back and thought she was right?

williaminajetfighter · 19/05/2013 14:48

Thread goes downhill from here as we argue about man with toilet seat and MHIs being more deserving than baby mama or viceversa.

The one constant is that the British love to be silent in any public transport conflict I've seen. 'Look away, look down, hum to self...'

Original poster

Hummuschocolate · 19/05/2013 14:48

Sorry you didn't enjoy it Crashdoll, I think my favourite part is when luggage man salutes me, he genuinely did.

OP posts:

TheFallenMadonna · 19/05/2013 14:49

I think you perhaps had to be there...

Original poster

Hummuschocolate · 19/05/2013 14:52

The weird thing was his earlier behaviour, the singing, which buggy lady didn't see made me think that he had MHIs but the during the conflict he was much more coherent and rational, he shouted but then so did she. If I'd just observed the conflict I wouldn't have suspected him to have MHIs anymore than I would have thought she would.

She didn't bully him, she barely spoke to him about from when they were shouting at each other. She didn't force him off the bus, he left after her. The driver even asked him if he still wanted to get off.

OP posts:

VivaLeBeaver · 19/05/2013 14:57

I love London, especially the public transport.

People say Londoners are unfriendly and I so disagree. I don't go there often but last week a random lady came up to me in Primark and quizzed me for a good ten minutes on all the control pants. I don't work there btw, though obviously look like someone who would know the ins and outs of control pants.

Then on the tube I was sat next to a tiger and opposite a dinosaur but I mistook the dinosaur for a turtle which upset him and the tiger then ambushed me at the top of the escalators. It's all entertaining down there.

FreyaSnow · 19/05/2013 14:58

I think it is best that the whole discussion was left to the driver and two passengers involved. The only useful thing any of the other passengers could have done would have been to either help move the stuff or fold the buggy.

Original poster

Hummuschocolate · 19/05/2013 14:59

I saw a smurf on the bus a couple of weeks ago, just casually got on and got off a few stops later

OP posts:

Original poster

Hummuschocolate · 19/05/2013 15:00

I think you're probably right Freya. I considered that perhaps we should have tried to help move the stuff but I think she'd already decided to get off. I don't think the driver knew quite what to do but I don't think he was in a tricky situation.

OP posts:

VivaLeBeaver · 19/05/2013 15:03

Hummus, you're the second person this week who's said about seeing a smurf on a bus! Wonder if its the same one?

WestieMamma · 19/05/2013 15:11

YABU

I agree with belfastbigmillie. From what you've said sounds like she was bullying someone with MHI. As you say, she may not have known this, but you and the other passengers did.

Original poster

Hummuschocolate · 19/05/2013 15:12

North London again Viva, school run time or slightly earlier

OP posts:

Original poster

Hummuschocolate · 19/05/2013 15:13

The thing is I don't think she bullied him, he held his own and they both ended up getting of the bus.

OP posts:

Thymeout · 19/05/2013 15:29

I saw two tigers on the tube on Thurs. Full face paint and everything. Nobody took any notice in case they were collecting for something.

Lonecatwithkitten · 19/05/2013 16:30

Could she not have folded the buggy and sat with DC on lap as she would have had to have done if there had been another buggy or wheelchair,
But really six of one and half a dozen of another.

MatureUniStudent · 19/05/2013 18:48

My dd and I were filmed for Quatar tv on the underground :)

Floggingmolly · 19/05/2013 19:00

You want to know how you could have "supported" this woman?
Find something else to occupy your mind, fgs.

Solari · 19/05/2013 19:01

I can't see how anyone could assume he had MHI from the small amount of details in the post. Granted, some behaviour like singing to himself etc. might come across a bit socially/culturally odd, but I definitely can't see it being enough to conclude mental health issues.

Not sure how it would/should change the reaction of passengers anyway, as by the OPs observation, he held his own just fine.

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