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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel hurt by my so-called friend?

78 replies

FictionPulp · 18/05/2013 22:09

Organised a night out with my friend weeks ago, and reminded her about it a couple of days ago and she said she'd completely forget and that she didn't have much money this month due to her owing money out and having a few birthday.

Was disappointed but tried not to dwell on it and she suggested lunch on Sunday (tomorrow) instead. Text her today and said are we definitely going out tomorrow? 3 hours ago and still haven't heard back.

Go on Facebook and see that her friend has tagged her as out drinking. So she did go out tonight. I really could actually cry - if I'm not being unreasonable then I definitely am being pathetic Sad

OP posts:
supersue1969 · 18/05/2013 22:11

You are not be unreasonable - I would be really upset too,

everlong · 18/05/2013 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SarahAndFuck · 18/05/2013 22:11

YANBU but perhaps someone offered to treat her and she isn't paying herself.

I'd be hurt and upset too though.

DPotter · 18/05/2013 22:12

You are neither unreasonable or pathetic ! Is it too late to text her and ask if you can join them ?

Standautocorrected · 18/05/2013 22:13

I would be feeling a little upset too tbh. I would be Unavailable for a while and see how you feel about her after a time away.
I found out a friend was lying to me through fb. I deleted fb and the rl friend. I don't miss her. I do feel cross I devoted a lot of time and effort to our friendship when it was clearly only one way.

Dorange · 18/05/2013 22:13

Leave a message underneath the photo saying how gorgeous she is looking and how much fun she is having xxx, than de-friend...on FB and RL.

Lj8893 · 18/05/2013 22:13

Oh bless you. I would be really upset too, and f*cking angry!!!!

You certainly should talk to her about it because its really not fair and a real friend wouldn't do that.

pigletmania · 18/05/2013 22:13

See how it goes for tomorrow. If she cancels than I would keep a dstance it gives out the signal that she does not value your friendship as much as others

MammaTJ · 18/05/2013 22:15

I would call her on it!! Actually put under the photo 'Thought you could not afford to come out tonight'. Make her feel the shame!!

BOF · 18/05/2013 22:16

Aw, no, YANBU.

puffinnuffin · 18/05/2013 22:16

I have had that happen to me and it is horrible and makes you feel bad. I wouldn't bother going tomorrow.

Tommy · 18/05/2013 22:18

I would be a bit hurt by this too as similar things have happened to me before. I guess you have to just suck it up and out it down to experience. I should wait until she arranges the next night out and not put yourself out.
Blimmin' FB - has a lot to answer for

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 18/05/2013 22:18

FB is the devil.

Sorry op that sucks.

TerrysNo2 · 18/05/2013 22:19

yanbu

that's just crap but before getting cross with her just ask her straight out and then decide what to do.

if she has no acceptable response then you should get rid, you deserve better

VBisme · 18/05/2013 22:19

No, that's a horrible thing for someone to do.

Booyhoo · 18/05/2013 22:21

i would cancel lunch tomorrow ( might not even bother telling her i was cancelling and just let her turn up tbh. i would be so pissed off) and defriend on fb. that is shitty behaviour.

lobsterkiller · 18/05/2013 22:21

YANBU..if that was me i would be feeling hurt. I would speak to her about it but i would also be thinking if this person was worth my time.

Booyhoo · 18/05/2013 22:24

and do not text and ask if you can join them- that would certainly be pathetic!

dont wait and see hwo tomorrow goes. why let her decide what happens? she clearly only decides what suits her so dont give her the option. if lunch tomorrow is what you wnat then do it. if not then you cancel. and you dont have to justify it. just say you dont fancy it and if she kicks off then kick off back at her.

Original poster
FictionPulp · 18/05/2013 22:27

Thanks everyone. I do see her as such a good friend and always have a really good time when I see her ..... but I guess it's obviously only I think that.

I'm really tempted to say something to her but right now I just feel too upset. But I will say something to her tomorrow. I doubt we will go out for lunch as she will probably be too hung over.

Might comment on the status and say "have a good night!" and then de-friend.

OP posts:
Original poster
FictionPulp · 18/05/2013 22:29

And friend has just commented on the status "via mobile" - so she has time to comment on FB but not to reply to my text.

OP posts:
Saddayinspring2 · 18/05/2013 22:30

What does " owing money out" mean?

lobsterkiller · 18/05/2013 22:32

Do you have anything else you can do tomorrow (ie be with people worthy of your company)?

squeakytoy · 18/05/2013 22:32

means that she owes money to people that she has borrowed usually

Lamour · 18/05/2013 22:33

I would defriend and not reply to any further texts or calls from her.

What she has done is very hurtful and disrespectful. I think some people forget that what they put on their FB wall is actually seen by everyone on FB

Original poster
FictionPulp · 18/05/2013 22:33

Sadday she is awful with money and so a lot of the time she ends up borrowing it off friends and family and then the next month she will pay them back - owes money out.

OP posts:
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