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AIBU?

to feel hurt by my so-called friend?

78 replies

FictionPulp · 18/05/2013 22:09

Organised a night out with my friend weeks ago, and reminded her about it a couple of days ago and she said she'd completely forget and that she didn't have much money this month due to her owing money out and having a few birthday.

Was disappointed but tried not to dwell on it and she suggested lunch on Sunday (tomorrow) instead. Text her today and said are we definitely going out tomorrow? 3 hours ago and still haven't heard back.

Go on Facebook and see that her friend has tagged her as out drinking. So she did go out tonight. I really could actually cry - if I'm not being unreasonable then I definitely am being pathetic

OP posts:

Report

FictionPulp · 18/05/2013 23:17

Well after a photo being uploaded by their mutual friend, I very much get the impression that I got dropped because she got a better offer.

Time to log out of FB I think.

OP posts:

FictionPulp · 18/05/2013 23:18

Thanks Mac sorry this happened to you too, it really is a shit feeling.

OP posts:

RiotsNotDiets · 18/05/2013 23:21

I agree with defineme go and TALK TO HER instead of speculating and leaving PA messages on her FB. There might be an innocent explanation, or she might be a dick, either way at least you'll know for sure.

candyandyoga · 18/05/2013 23:22

You should've honest. Send her a text and tell her how offended you are by her actions. Tell her!

MacAndCheese · 18/05/2013 23:23

Thanks fiction it's strange finding someone else who's had the same thing happen - wonders of the Internet!

I don't know, I'm a big believer of the cliché that is karma. I'm aware that it's sad, you don't need to tell me

Dorange · 18/05/2013 23:23

I agree with manticlimatic
say no to lunch as you have no money
go out to lunch with another friend
make sure you tag yourself having lunch and a good time with the other friend...and explain the whole situation to the other friend so she won't feel used if she finds out the whole thing

MacAndCheese · 18/05/2013 23:24

And you will feel better for knowing what actually happened.

flanbase · 18/05/2013 23:27

yanbu - It depends how good a friend she is to you. If she's a close friend the I'd say talk to her on this.

Dorange · 18/05/2013 23:28

is her friends settings private? I would love to snoop a bit...

Booyhoo · 18/05/2013 23:32

CocacolaMum · 18/05/2013 23:44

don't bother playing her game - shes a prick and doesn't deserve your friendship de-friend in fb and rl

Snazzywaitingforsummer · 18/05/2013 23:54

I would reply with 'I'm not up for lunch tomorrow now I'm afraid. We'll have to rearrange'. And I would then leave it completely alone and not suggest going out to her again. If she comes to you and asks, you can see how you feel. I wouldn't get into a row about it but I would not put myself out anymore for someone who had ditched me for a better offer. Actions speak as loud as words and she will get the message. She knows from her reply that you know and is trying to a) play down the night out and b) belatedly compensate by agreeing to lunch.

Loulybelle · 19/05/2013 00:03

I'd be honest, if one of my friends did that to me, i'd have no qualms in telling her what for.

parachutesarefab · 19/05/2013 00:46

Not unreasonable, and not pathetic.

I think it was a dignified comment on fb - let her know you'd seen, but with a comment no-one else would take any notice of. (You could easily, and understandably, have written something that came across as needy, pathetic, or bitchy.)

(She could have genuinely forgotten until you reminded her, realised she'd double booked, and - rather than being honest - gave you a false excuse and rearranged. She shouldn't have done, but you may be the easier-to-rearrange friend, rather than the worse-offer friend.)

I'd text her "I don't like being dumped for a better offer, and being lied to. Don't really feel like lunch today." Her move.

BigBlockSingsong · 19/05/2013 09:17

I have been here OP, I think everyone has 'that friend' , I think telling her how you feel is a good idea.

BestParentEver · 19/05/2013 09:20

Talk to her about it at first are you sure the photo was of Saturday night even?

MusicalEndorphins · 19/05/2013 09:31

Her friend may be treating her?

AaDB · 19/05/2013 09:33

I'd text what para said. You need to be direct.

Go out with other friends today or have them over.

greenformica · 19/05/2013 12:13

Arrange to go out with other friends. Text and cancel lunch with her, give no reasons.

livinginwonderland · 19/05/2013 14:21

I'm afraid I would be childish and go out with other people and tag them. She needs a taste of her own medicine. Include photos of you and said friends looking happy!

PavlovtheCat · 19/05/2013 16:01

Did you go for lunch in the end fiction? Did you have any kind of convo about how insensitive and rude she was? Did you tell her to go and do one as a friend? hope you are ok today.

ReluctantlyBeingYoniMassaged · 19/05/2013 16:09

Ooh I want to know what happened. It sounds like the 'friend' knows she is in the wrong.

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BriansBrain · 19/05/2013 16:19

Did you go for lunch in the end?

CrapBag · 19/05/2013 16:25

YANBU OP, what a shitty thing to do. I would have had to put "I thought you didn't have any money to go out tonight?"

I deleted shitty FB because of this crap.

I had made arrangements with my DBro before to go out for a meal with me, DH, him and his DF and then see a film after. The week before she put on FB about how the film was brilliant. I put "I thought we were seeing that when we go out next week?" she just deleted the comment. The meal never happened either. Dbro texted just before to say his DF wasn't feeling well and couldn't go out. Luckily my suspicions of her were correct, she ran the show and DBro couldn't do anything without her say so and he got rid before they got married thankfully, then admitted what many of us suspected, he couldn't fart without her wanting to know about it.

I also tried 'I'll play you at your own game thing' with a friend of mine who was always shit about replying to texts and has got progressively worse because she is oh so busy all the time. I stopped replying straight away like I always do. She noticed and commented and I said I am not being to available all the time and replying instantly, she knows it drives me mad that she doesn't reply and I was hoping it buck her up a bit. It hasn't made any difference. She is still shit at it. When I do reply on the rare occasion she bothers to text, she still doesn't reply back to me half the time. I do think "why bother" tbh.

Hope you didn't bother to go out with her today OP.

valiumredhead · 19/05/2013 17:56

Something similar upset me too and I ended up deleting my FB account and am much happier for it. I wouldn't have known had it not been for FB and I would have been none the wiser.

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