Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


"I don't think I want children of my own - I'll adopt". AIBU to think that Leona Lewis should engage brain before opening mouth?

73 replies

SybilRamkin · 18/05/2013 11:09

Article in The Times this morning. Surely if you adopt children then they are 'children of your own' regardless of whether they're home-grown or not?!

Sometimes I despair.

OP posts:

AmberLeaf · 18/05/2013 11:10

I would assume she means she doesn't want to give birth so would rather adopt.

What is wrong with that?

Of course if you adopt children they are 'yours' I don't think that she meant they wouldn't be, I think she meant what I assumed.


CaptainSweatPants · 18/05/2013 11:12

Think you're being pedantic


TheChaoGoesMu · 18/05/2013 11:13

Well, they wouldn't be her children until she was lucky enough to get to adopt. It doesn't sound that bad to me. Undoubtedly she would look at adopted children as her own if and when it happens.


OTTMummA · 18/05/2013 11:13

YABU Biscuit


Alisvolatpropiis · 18/05/2013 11:15

A wee bit pedantic there Op. it's likely that it isn't even exactly what she said, that often happens in printed articles.

Also isn't MrsDV her aunt? She has adopted children,I'm fairly sure Leona doesn't see those children as being anything other than her cousins and aunts children.


LadyBeagleEyes · 18/05/2013 11:15

This makes you despair Hmm?
I agree, the very epitome of pedantry.


LesserEvil · 18/05/2013 11:15

YABU, I get what she means, 'not biologically mine'.

Sorry she upset you.


wankerchief · 18/05/2013 11:15

You are splitting hairs. Its clear what she means


Movingtimes · 18/05/2013 11:16

I despair right along with you, OP. As an adoptee myself, I might be accused of being oversensitive on this one, but no, I don't think I am. Statements like that make me feel like a neglected puppy at Battersea Dogs Home, waiting for a kind new owner to come and pick me out. She clearly has no idea whatsoever of the whole separate set of issues that come with choosing to adopt, nor, do some other posters on this thread. Equating adoption with a simple and convenient way to avoid childbirth is so trite and ignorant it makes me want to puke actually.
So YANBU at all.


LucieLucie · 18/05/2013 11:17

Surely she meant that she doesn't feel the need to have children from her own biology/DNA so will therefor adopt a child who is already out there. Nothing wrong with that.


Kewcumber · 18/05/2013 11:18

Well kinda - as an adoptive parent this kind of language is mildly irritating but I don't get too worked up about it - actually "natural" bothers me more as it implies I am "unnatural". People don't always use the kind of language I would prefer but if they're not being offensive and they are well -intentioned then I tend to let it go.

It bothers me more if people say they are going to adopt because its easier.

I happen to know that LL has adoption in her fairly close family so I think she probably knows better than the average celeb what it involves!

I would also not be convinced that those were her exact words... I have seen adoptive parents describing in the press how they "rescued" their child which surprised me as I knew them. They were furious as they hadn't said any such thing, and in fact neither had the reporter who interviewed them - the editor changed the headline to make it more dramatic.


CloudsAndTrees · 18/05/2013 11:18



Lilka · 18/05/2013 11:19

Annoys me a bit as an adoptive mother - most adoptive parents hear the 'own' children thing a lot and it gets worse every time. "You adopted?! Didn't you want children of your own?" pisses me off frankly. I've got children of my own, end of. And yes, I correct them every time.

Other oft-said gems I haven't had personally include, "You'll get pregnant now and have your own child"


QOD · 18/05/2013 11:19

I get irritated by all the assumptions that its so easy to adopt, ah don't have a surrogate baby, don't have ivf "just" adopt

Yeh right


CremeEggThief · 18/05/2013 11:20



AmberLeaf · 18/05/2013 11:21


I kept my answer simple to address the very simplistic OP.

You have no idea what my personal knowledge of the vast number of issues surrounding adoption [from all angles] so do wind it in.


Buzzardbird · 18/05/2013 11:21

She just used the wrong words, I think we all know what she meant for gawds sake. Hmm


TheSecondComing · 18/05/2013 11:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SybilRamkin · 18/05/2013 11:22

I'm the first to admit I'm a pedant of the first order, but am also perhaps a bit oversensitive about adoption issues.

I stand corrected, IABU!

OP posts:

wetspringday · 18/05/2013 11:23

yes, "just" is often placed before "adopt" as if it is a casual sort of thing.

"If we can't have our own children, we'll just adopt."

"I don't understand why you're having IVF. Why not just adopt?"

"I'd just adopt, as so many children needing loving homes are out there."

adoption isn't for me, and I have given it a lot of thought, but if you say that, people think you are heartless and lack compassion because, after all, if they couldn't have their own children, they'd "just" adopt.

That said I don't think LL spoke out of turn in this instance.


AmberLeaf · 18/05/2013 11:24

No she isnt TSC.

She is being told 'YABU' because she is being pedantic over a short statement in a news article that prob has very little bearing on her actual thoughts.


Lilka · 18/05/2013 11:25

Mind you I don't have a problem with what Leona said, because her intention was fine and not offensive, it's just the word 'own' brings 'wary bells' ringing in my head, because i associate it with offensive phrases!


TheSecondComing · 18/05/2013 11:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Movingtimes · 18/05/2013 11:27

Amberleaf, as the only person on this thread so far who actually knows what it feels like to be adopted I think I am entitled to my opinion.
Sorry if you are offended that I referred to your perspective on the matter as 'ignorant' rather than 'simple'. From where I'm standing it certainly looks more like the former but I'm willing to accept your contention that you are concealing a vastly informed opinion underneath the simplicity of your answer.


CommanderShepard · 18/05/2013 11:29

It may not be that she used those actual words anyway. Overenthusiastic editing abounds!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?