AIBU?
"I don't think I want children of my own - I'll adopt". AIBU to think that Leona Lewis should engage brain before opening mouth?
SybilRamkin · 18/05/2013 11:09
Article in The Times this morning. Surely if you adopt children then they are 'children of your own' regardless of whether they're home-grown or not?!
Sometimes I despair.
Alisvolatpropiis · 18/05/2013 11:15
A wee bit pedantic there Op. it's likely that it isn't even exactly what she said, that often happens in printed articles.
Also isn't MrsDV her aunt? She has adopted children,I'm fairly sure Leona doesn't see those children as being anything other than her cousins and aunts children.
?Movingtimes · 18/05/2013 11:16
I despair right along with you, OP. As an adoptee myself, I might be accused of being oversensitive on this one, but no, I don't think I am. Statements like that make me feel like a neglected puppy at Battersea Dogs Home, waiting for a kind new owner to come and pick me out. She clearly has no idea whatsoever of the whole separate set of issues that come with choosing to adopt, nor, do some other posters on this thread. Equating adoption with a simple and convenient way to avoid childbirth is so trite and ignorant it makes me want to puke actually.
So YANBU at all.
Kewcumber · 18/05/2013 11:18
Well kinda - as an adoptive parent this kind of language is mildly irritating but I don't get too worked up about it - actually "natural" bothers me more as it implies I am "unnatural". People don't always use the kind of language I would prefer but if they're not being offensive and they are well -intentioned then I tend to let it go.
It bothers me more if people say they are going to adopt because its easier.
I happen to know that LL has adoption in her fairly close family so I think she probably knows better than the average celeb what it involves!
I would also not be convinced that those were her exact words... I have seen adoptive parents describing in the press how they "rescued" their child which surprised me as I knew them. They were furious as they hadn't said any such thing, and in fact neither had the reporter who interviewed them - the editor changed the headline to make it more dramatic.
Lilka · 18/05/2013 11:19
Annoys me a bit as an adoptive mother - most adoptive parents hear the 'own' children thing a lot and it gets worse every time. "You adopted?! Didn't you want children of your own?" pisses me off frankly. I've got children of my own, end of. And yes, I correct them every time.
Other oft-said gems I haven't had personally include, "You'll get pregnant now and have your own child"
TheSecondComing · 18/05/2013 11:21
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
wetspringday · 18/05/2013 11:23
yes, "just" is often placed before "adopt" as if it is a casual sort of thing.
"If we can't have our own children, we'll just adopt."
"I don't understand why you're having IVF. Why not just adopt?"
"I'd just adopt, as so many children needing loving homes are out there."
adoption isn't for me, and I have given it a lot of thought, but if you say that, people think you are heartless and lack compassion because, after all, if they couldn't have their own children, they'd "just" adopt.
That said I don't think LL spoke out of turn in this instance.
TheSecondComing · 18/05/2013 11:26
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Movingtimes · 18/05/2013 11:27
Amberleaf, as the only person on this thread so far who actually knows what it feels like to be adopted I think I am entitled to my opinion.
Sorry if you are offended that I referred to your perspective on the matter as 'ignorant' rather than 'simple'. From where I'm standing it certainly looks more like the former but I'm willing to accept your contention that you are concealing a vastly informed opinion underneath the simplicity of your answer.
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