To think Primary schools should ask less of parents?

[wonderstuff]

Supporting education is vital, reading, supporting maths, spelling homework in general I'm cool with.

But today I got an email that requests next Thursday I dress dd in a green top and brown trousers so she looks like a tree, all the children are having a tree themed muffty day. They are having an Eco day, guest speakers all fantastic stuff, it's a great school, but short notice, very specific requests like this are frustrating dd doesn't have a green top, I am fortunate in having the means to go get her one, but it seems a real imposition.

AIBU to be annoyed by this?

[Summerblaze]

TBH my dc's school is ok and dress up days do tend to be broad so everyone should have something in their cupboards and the nativity is done with generic clothing with things they make (headbands with stars etc) on them.

However, my friend has her dc at another school and they are always told that they need dayglo tops for this or peach coloured leggings for that etc etc, usually at short notice. Friend works full time, is a single mum and doesn't do brilliantly financially as her ex dh is a tosser and dodges the CSA. She also needed sports clothes for some 'special day' and ended up buying her DD a pair of jogging pants and a hoody. DN is a very girly girl and is a quick grower so it will be quite unlikely that she will wear it again. DS also needed to wear pink for 'Breast Cancer Day" so she had to buy some pink socks that he binned when he got home.

Its ridiculous. I'm sure there are more inventive ways to learn than making parents spend a load of money and time creating outfits.

[FossilMum]

YANBDU. Why oh why oh why can't they make their costumes, if they really do need costumes, AT SCHOOL as an educational craft activity, using some paper, paint and imagination, instead of expecting parents to fork out time and money on unwanted clothes? Argh.

[TattyDevine]

Boffin that sucks! hey at least you look minted that's something

[TattyDevine]

I'm on our PTA (feck knows how that happened) and I always try and speak up against too much dressing up bollix...trouble is its a really sure thing fundraiser, because they all want to do it (peer/pack mentality) and parents feel guilty if they boycott because their kids want to.

We give loads of notice though. And we don't do it that often, though our comic relief (which obv is for charity) dress up day was only a week or so from our Easter bunny dress up day, which didn't go down well, but only one was to raise funds for the school, but the non PTA parents don't necessarily consider that.

[Mumsyblouse]

tatty so why not encourage mufti days then for fundraising? everyone has non school uniform clothes, not everyone has brown trousers and a green top for two children (for those with three or more in the same school, it's just ridiculous). Our school is actually quite nice about this, lots of any spotted clothes or 'fun socks' and spares for those that don't have them.

[meddie]

What mumsyblouse said

[Babyroobs]

Boffin - I'm shocked at that, did they think the parents wouldn't discuss it amongst themselves? There is a family at my son's school just got the child's yr 6 residential paid for by the school. then the mum tells me they are going on a family holiday to Florida in August ( Dineyworld the lot) ! I accept perhaps family could be helping them but even so .

[Mumsyblouse]

you may already of course!

[cakebar]

Off the point and I know it still takes time but I got a green jumper in Sainsbury's for £1.50 a couple of weeks ago, they are selling off some of the 'last year' uniform I think. Yes, my son needed a tree outfit too.

[ilovexmastime]

I tend to let the kids (aged 6 and 8) sort themselves out on non-uniform/wear something x colour/etc days. I have never bought anything special. The last wear something pink day they had, DS1 went in wearing a pink tank top of mine that he'd found in a box at the bottom of my wardrobe!

It might sound a bit mean, but no-one at our primary school takes these things too seriously, and there's always a good few that come in in uniform anyway because their parents have forgotten/can't be arsed.

[BastardDog]

I hated primary school dress up days with a passion. As well as make a volcano for homework type tasks. Bring in cakes for the fayre etc etc. I do not have a creative bone in my body. I hate crafty stuff, making stuff and when they're at primary school it's the mums that do it, not the kids. No learning for the kids in that. All my kids learnt was that mum would regularly flip her lid all the way home from school at the latest request.

Secondary school is much better. My only gripe there is cooking lessons. I end up buying a tenners worth of ingredients cos dd needs a teaspoon of vanilla extract, 2 spoons of castor sugar and 4 raisins. Bloody ridiculous

[Summerblaze]

Tatty I am also on the PTA and you are right, non-uniform day is a surefire way of raising funds. But we have found that if we don't have a theme but just a dress in what you want day, parents are more willing to shell out the £. If not, they come in the themed clothing but don't want to pay as they have already paid for the clothing.

[Quangle]

On International Day DD had to go in dressed as a representation of the country she got allocated - and bring some regional food. We got Burkina Faso . Her bf got Guam

[Mumsyblouse]

On International Day DD had to go in dressed as a representation of the country she got allocated - and bring some regional food. We got Burkina Faso confused. Her bf got Guam

Very funny. However, attempt at food kind of ok, but dressing up in a parody of other people's national costumes/traditional clothes, not ok by me anyway. Perhaps I'm a bit pofaced about it all?

[Quangle]

I wouldn't at all have had a problem with my six year old wearing a flamenco dress to represent Spain or the equivalent for lots of other countries. I think that's absolutely fine. The really tricky one would have been the UK - what do you wear to represent the UK?

[McNewPants2013]

In reception DS was bringing letter home about teacher training with 1 week notice, I went in and said parents need more notice especially for working parent. At the same time I also pointed out that a weeks notice for themed days in unacceptable.

We now get at least a month notice

[NoisesOff]

How can the school call it an 'eco' day and then request you to go out and buy new stuff just for the occasion which will probably end up in landfill?

[iloveweetos]

i agree a week is brilliant! we had 2 days notice to dress DD in 70s outfit lol
i didnt bother!

[Lonecatwithkitten]

I have raised this with DD's school as I work full time with nights and weekends and I am a single parent and ExH is useless he barely manages to feed DD when she is there. I spent three years raising it and running around like a blue arsed fly. Then I got stroppy and if I had less than two weeks notice I just very politely wrote back and pointed out that as I worked full time was on call Tuesday and Wednesday and from 8am Friday to 5pm Tuesday when exactly did they expect me to buy X and that no DD would not be bringing X.
Half a term of total non-compliance and now such requests come with 1 months notice and usually are listed in the calender issue at the beginning of term. In fact for their overnight field trip they gave us 4 months noticed of what was needed.
I am afraid the only way forward is to dig your heels .

[MadeOfStarDust]

B...Dog - cooking is easier if your dd has friends in the same class- mine has 2 (luckily) - if they need a tablespoon of yoghurt, some raisins and a bottle of vanilla extract - each of them brings one thing and they share....

Our primary used to ask for all sorts of dress up - we were told by friends with older kids before we started to make sure we had...... a long Tshirt and leggings in brown/beige, something spotty, something stripey, something red or pink and a white sheet - covered all bases. Charity shops have served us well - and have had all the items back to resell......

[iloveweetos]

and omg boffin!!! thats ridiculous!

[buildingmycorestrength]

I also utterly utterly loathe the dress up as a character for charity days. The charity gets £1 or whatever per child in the pot, while Tesco and Asda make a mint on costumes because parents DO NOT HAVE TIME or inclination to trek round assorted charity shops sorting it out.

My son also hates dressing up so won't engage in choosing a costume, but feels left out and confused when he sees his friends dressed up.

NO.

POINT.

[Chocovore]

Can you borrow something from friends? That's what we normally do. Or do you or partner have something green/brown even turned inside out? I never buy anything, I don't think anyone every takes it very seriously.

[buildingmycorestrength]

But isn't the problem that all the people who still have children the right size are also doing the dress up day? It is for me.

[CloudsAndTrees]

Most dress up things are annoying, especially when the children gain very little from it.

It's fine for plays and I had no problem when my children had to be dressed as evacuees for a thing they were doing, but crap like dressing like a tree is just pointless. And it's not as if they are even going to end up looking like sodding trees anyway!