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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pretty terrified that being a child abuser

335 replies

FocaultOff · 14/05/2013 13:08

has actually caused some people to rise to positions of power only because Parliament's power has been corrupted absolutely:

spotlightonabuse.wordpress.com/2013/05/11/the-dirt-book-how-the-sexual-abuse-of-children-is-used-for-political-gain/

Following the developments of Savile, I continue to be shocked, saddened and horirified on a daily basis - I just cannot get over the depths of this and how far up and nationally this goes. WTF is going on? It took Portugal 7 years to sort out the Casa Pia orphanages abuse network with their very own Savile TV type figure involved. I cannot give a shiny shit about EU referendums and Nigel Horsey Mirage while we now know all this....2015 election has no other issues surely? So long as any party is protecting alleged child abusers within their ranks and preventing due process of criminal justice system being applied to them for a court to find innocent or guilty, as with all other subjects of the law, none shall be above it, then they cannot have be entrusted with power.... how do we know child abusers aren't influencing sentencing guidelines for child sex abuse offences for example? spotlightonabuse.wordpress.com/2013/05/13/the-sentencing-council-and-other-legal-panels-took-advice-from-convicted-paedophiles-about-sentencing-for-paedophile-offences/

Am I being crazy to think people would be shouting from rooftops about this if they knew, or does everyone already know and just accept this is the way it is? Not paedo hating public hysteria....I'm a pacificst and I want to see democracy fixed so more like a very severe public Paxmanesque probing on National TV for some of those in charge of the various child abuse inquiries that have thus far been unable to provide proper resolution over the question of abusers in power and children in care being trafficked round the country to be sexually exploited? Why is at the very least this not happening?

OP posts:
FreudiansSlipper · 14/05/2013 18:31

balling but if a man or women were to feel sexually attracted to children is it not better than can actually get some help rather than just quietly hate themselves, this can lead to self destructive behaviour and that could lead to not caring for others too and in turn harming others

no one wants to hear that someone they love is attracted to children it would be devastating but if someone is reaching out for help that is what they need not to be told they are evil when they have done nothing wrong

ballinacup · 14/05/2013 18:33

But Freudian, what would you do if your actual DH expressed a desire to have sex with your actual children. How understanding would you be?

Not a theoretical DH or theoretical children. Your own. What then?

Original poster
FocaultOff · 14/05/2013 18:33

RunRabbit - no you are right - it is different when child abuse becomes the currency of politics to such a degree though. That's what I've been naive about. That blackmail is the currency of politics is basic Yes Minister BBC 101. That sexually abusing children is so regularly the subject of the blackmail as to be something Edwina Currie can laugh about in her bigoraphy when writing about Peter Morrison MP and his liking for young boys (presumably she reported at the time? She says she did what she was able on twitter) is pretty fucking chilling to me. He was supposed to be running Thatcher's election campaign.

OP posts:
rosepettel · 14/05/2013 18:35

children are not sexual so its not sexual perfrance of course

FreudiansSlipper · 14/05/2013 18:38

I am not saying I would stay in that relationship I do not think I could but I would try and support them getting help

there are men and women who are sexually attracted to children and do noting but hate themselves, there are others who act on it and hate themselves (rightly so for causing so much pain) the there are those that do not care and abuse children it is not always about sexual attraction to children but power it is complex and we as a society need to understand it better to deal with this terribe problem

Original poster
FocaultOff · 14/05/2013 18:39

OK imagine the logic of this: You're in court prosecuting a man for having over a million images of child abuse on his home PC, around 10,000 of them are level 4 - 5 in severity (rape beastiality torture involving children - we are seeing more and more and more of this level) - and in mitigation his defence lawyer argues that AS A PERCENTAGE 10,000 images represents less than (shit my maths is bad and my memory of maths is worse help) 1% so the fact that he ONLY has that many violent child abuse images actually goes in his favour. You point this out to be told it is not considering the evidence IN CONTEXT deep booming patronising voice optional

OP posts:
TheseFoolishThings · 14/05/2013 19:07

Fakebook squeaky piglet and maybe one or two others need applauding. The child sex apologists are so out of order. Any paedophile reading this will be rubbing their hands in glee. THIS is the message they'd love to get 'out there'. It's up to ordinary right-thinking people to make sure it doesn't. And if that means chemical castration or shipping the fuckers off to an island somewhere - so be it.

RunRabbit · 14/05/2013 19:14

Don't think anyone has defended the sexual abuse of children on this thread Hmm

pumpkinsweetie · 14/05/2013 19:19

Totally agree these, how can anyone make excuses for these vile specimens, is beyond my comprehension.

FreudiansSlipper · 14/05/2013 19:21

TheseFoolishThings

do you know anyone who is sexually attracted to children chances are you do maybe not someone close and hopefully not and you have no idea and never will as they may not actually act on it

no one on here has defended sexual abusers or claimed that abusers can not help themselves

TheseFoolishThings · 14/05/2013 19:22

Sorry pumpkin - should have acknowledged your input too. Shocked beyond belief at this thread.

SamraLee · 14/05/2013 19:29

How anyone can think that being a paedophile means that you sexually abuse children is what I can't understand. That's like saying just because she's gay it means she wants to have sex with all women. It's just stupid. The definition of paedophile means they find children sexually attractive.

I read a story once about a dad and his son. Dad goes to GP and say I need help I think my son is a paedophile and I want to get him help. GP does nothing. Dad goes again and say I'm worried he will hurt a child I saw on his computer he's looking at images of child sexual abuse, please do something, they put his son on the list to see someone, but really, do nothing. Dad finds out his son captures a girl, but the girl beats him off and gets away, thankfully nothing happened to the girl, she was obviously really shook up though.

Where is in the world is this the right thing to happen? Where you can't turn to anyone for help?

pumpkinsweetie · 14/05/2013 19:34

They don't need help, they need to be locked up for life as it's been proven nothing stops their desires for long. And no it wouldn't stop them completely but castration & medication & going behing bars atleast will stop the majority of them looking and harming young kids.

Oh and no i don't know one, and if i did i wouldn't want to be anywhere near one of them, infact i would disown and make people aware of any such person if i ever came across one, regardless of relation

RunRabbit · 14/05/2013 19:39

Yes pumpkin because that's realistically going to happen.

pumpkinsweetie · 14/05/2013 19:44

It's not, but it should happen. Hopefully one day we will have a government that cares more for protecting children.

FreudiansSlipper · 14/05/2013 19:50

Pumpkin the fact is no one knows how many people are paedophiles but many are not acting on it and very very few admit to it

we will all know someone that is and have no idea and they may actually hate how they feel and never do anything to harm a child and sadly some of us will know people who do abuse and again we shall never know

how can we punish people for what they feel and not act on those feelings and not want to as it disgusts them so much

ICBINEG · 14/05/2013 20:03

ballina If my DH told me he wanted to fuck children then I would be gutted and despairing.

But I would rather he told me about it than actually did it. By a LONG WAY.

And I would rather live in a society that respected his bravery in owning his abnormality and getting help with it than one that condemned him as evil simply for having the desires he was born with.

What is chilling about that exactly?

ICBINEG · 14/05/2013 20:13

God it is SOO easy to take everyone that is different and put them in a box marked evil. How lovely your lives must be that you truly believe the world works like that.

Putting people in a box marked evil was exactly what has been done to any number of segments of society that are actually simply different.

In the case of paedophilia we CANNOT allow those who are different to follow their desires because it would harm children.

That is the only difference between their difference from the norm and those who have say Gerontophilia (sexual attraction to elderly people), Menophilia (sexual attraction to menstruation) or a thousand other known deviations from the human norm of sexual attraction.

Only if they actual involve or in any other way harm children are they in any sense vile, disgusting, criminal or any of the other names being bandied about on this thread.

Hullygully · 14/05/2013 20:19

I agree that the word "evil" is unhelpful.

But just how many tortured, desperate to ask for help, child-sexual-preference-feelers are there?

And how many fucked-up souls that normalise it and act on it?

Fakebook · 14/05/2013 20:19

What is chilling about that ICBINEG, is that when someone starts talking openly about their immoral and illegal desires, be it cannibalism or paedophilia, the whole idea of it can suddenly become acceptable in society "as long as its openly discussed and the person is getting help". By giving them the platform to do this we will make our children more vulnerable to these type of individuals because the come back to every time a child is abused will be "oh, but he/she was getting help for it".

They can't be cured.

pumpkinsweetie · 14/05/2013 20:22

The apologies are rolling in-these people (if you want to call them that) cannot be helped FACT.
A paedophile is a paedophile.

ICBINEG · 14/05/2013 20:30

Gosh there are a lot of people certain that someone with paedophilia will always offend...and equally certain that there can and never will be an effective treatment.

I have heard otherwise. I have heard that not all those with paedophilia will ever offend and that many paedophiles were treated successfully with CBT combined methods but that 'the public' would prefer to stick 'em in the slammer wearing a big hat marked 'evil' than actually get them well.

A concept that I personally found impossible to believe until I saw this thread.

People on here would actually rather leave criminal paedophiles in a position to re-offend rather than treat them! All for the sake of feeling you have had your revenge.

Is it possible you could see past your collective need to dehumanise these people long enough to allow society to do better at protecting our children than we currently are?

RunRabbit · 14/05/2013 20:32

And how does vilifying them help anyone?

All it does is make them secretive and push things further underground.

How does that help the victims?

At least treating them is doing something. What other realistic options are there?

ICBINEG · 14/05/2013 20:36

hully isn't it better to unfuck someone's soul so they don't do it again then to stick them in prison then wait for them to do it all over again when they get out?

I'm not sure how relevant it is how they got to where they are....we need to do what ever works best in stopping them from hurting children.

I can't see how making the whole topic undiscussable, the addmission of suffering from paedophilia a total impossibility, and the rehabilitation of offenders a lower priority than their 'punishment' can possibly be the best way to stop children being harmed.

Hullygully · 14/05/2013 20:41

I don't know.

I don't know if someone can be "cured" any more than they can of homosexuality/shoe fetishism/bondage etc.

Could you be "cured" of your orientation?

Isn't it odd to think that adult to adult is the norm and any "deviation" can be "cured"?