Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have judged this mum giving her kids their breakfast in the CAR!!???

158 replies

Purplehonesty · 13/05/2013 21:19

One child had a bowl of cereal, spoon and all and the other was eating toast.
I thought really, how disorganised do you have to be not to give your children breakfast before they leave the house...

Fast forward three years and I practically serve up three course meals in the car as we are always in a rush, whilst they watch a DVD on the DVD player I was never ever going to have in my car....

What things did you get all judgemental about before you had kids and realised that you do whatever you can just to get through the day?!

OP posts:
HalfBakedAlaska · 14/05/2013 09:31

Totall agree, sashh. Our son had to have a lumbar puncture when he was a day

HalfBakedAlaska · 14/05/2013 09:34

Duh - iPhone fail. Sorry! Should read:

Our son had to have a lumbar puncture when he was a day old. The nurse in SCBU asked if she could use a dummy to soothe him while they were doing the procedure (we were advised to not be in the room). No way were we going to say no. He still gets a lot of comfort from his dummy.

angelos02 · 14/05/2013 09:45

YANBU. When I was a kid our family all sat around the dining table for breakfast. Every day. Fucking breakfast clubs. WTF is wrong with this country.

StanleyLambchop · 14/05/2013 09:51

I used to be really sniffy about why my pregnant colleague was late to work every morning, because it was only a bit of morning sickness wasn't it?

Well fate has certainly paid me back for that as I had two completely vomit filled pregnancies, morning noon & night for about 8 1/2 months! I try not to judge anything at all now (although I really don't like seeing anyone smoking around babies)

HeffalumpTheFlump · 14/05/2013 10:37

I'm pregnant with dc1tobe and like one of the previous posters most of these things have passed me by. The only thing I can remember being really judgy about was a lady and her ds in a supermarket. She stepped backwards and didn't see her ds was behind her, falling straight on her bum taking him down with her. Instead of laughing it off she stood up, yanked her ds to his feet and shouted in his face. She then dragged him out of the supermarket quite forcefully, hissing at him about how much trouble he was in. I know im not yet a parent but I hope I'm never like that.

loofet · 14/05/2013 10:39

I always have and still do judge parents who smoke, swear or get drunk in front of their kids. That will never change. I also get judgey of 'happy meal kids' and kids in pushchairs where they're so big for it their feet are dragging on the floor.

Thankfully I never was judgemental towards kids having tantrums or babies screaming because when it happens it's awful enough without having a million glaring looks and tuts/sighs.

loofet · 14/05/2013 10:40

Oh yeah and I'm judgey of parents who hit their kids too.

Original poster
Purplehonesty · 14/05/2013 10:40

Ah that reminds me. Before I had kids I was a manager with about 12 staff. I couldn't understand why they needed so much time off for sick kids, I used to think they were making it up. Surely kids can't get ill that often. Ask your husband to look after them I'd say.

Now I am a mum I realise just how often they are poorly (ds was very sickly as a baby) and that they really don't want their dads. (And I realise what a total arse I was being!!)

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 14/05/2013 10:43

sashh the first person to give my son a dummy was a SCBU nurse. She said 'Do you mind? It's comforting him and helping him associate his full tummy with sucking and swallowing (he was fed through a tube).'

My reply was 'Oh fuck no. Give him two!' Grin I may not have actually said fuck. But I may have.

gail734 · 14/05/2013 11:22

I've never been judgey about dummies. What's wrong with a dummy? MN helps me to discover new ways in which I'm being judged! I ostentatiously walk around Asda with a pair of socks in my hand so that the poor little match girl in the buggy (DD10 mo) doesn't make people cry. Smoking pregnant makes me shudder - I only gave up because I was pregnant. I used to say "My child won't know what a chocolate button IS!" (hollow laugh).

Original poster
Purplehonesty · 14/05/2013 11:34

Heffa that's horrible. I hate seeing people screaming abuse at their kids for no reason. I'm always the one lone voice going, hey stop that! (Then running away before I get lamped)

OP posts:
southbank · 14/05/2013 12:03

can't beleive how many people judge dummies!
Another one here whose son was given a dummy in scbu,
as I was in mat ward with his twin sister and very ill anything that gave him comfort I fully supported as he was alone for long periods of time.
He gave his dummy up at 3.5yrs,sorry but judge away!it was his comfort,it soothed him,got him to sleep,calmed him down,and was his safety net ifswim,and I wasn't about to take that away from him before he was ready.
However when he was ready he happily handed it over,no harm done whatsoever.
I'm the kind of parent who will judge the person judging anothers child or parenting and say something,for example I was on a train last week with a crying baby in my carriage,a young couple were tutting away saying can't they shut it up,I told them 'no she can't just shut it up,it's a baby,remember this when you have your own kids'!

EasilyBored · 14/05/2013 12:14

I judge dummies when the child is running around, talking with it in their mouth. Not fussed otherwise. I tried to get DS to have on when he was little, but no joy.

I was a bit judgy about food - but I have a toddler who eats like a sparrow and I will pretty much let him eat anything now. And if I'm eating something, I feel like I can't really say know, so he shares all my cake/biscuits/crisps if he catches me eating them. I also used to be judgy about people who's children were having tantrums out in public, but now I'm just like 'phew, it's not me carrying my toddler out of a shop under my arm while he screams today!', and try and offer sympathetic looks.

I am still very judgy about children playing games that aren't age appropriate (I'm looking at you family member who lets their three year old plat CoD, unsupervised). But I'm actually jealous of people who can get their toddler to sit and watch a half hour programme. DS just kind of glances at In The Night Garden/Peppa Pig etc in a kind of disinterested way and goes back to rampaging round the house. Half an hour of down time in front of the TV would be useful!

I hate it when people swear and scream at their children, or drag them around by the arm. I nearly confronted someone the other week who literally dragged their child (about 4 or 5) across a car park by his arm, with his toes dragging on the floor. Poor boy was really upset, and I know it would have been dangerous to let him run off, but it looked so painful. I didn't confront him though as I had wriggling, whining, flailing DS in my arms and I figured it would look a bit hypocritical for me to say anything when I was essentially restraining my child and the only difference being that he's still small enough to be picked up.

OrmirianResurgam · 14/05/2013 12:20

Most things. I had A Plan before my children were born.

LaQueen · 14/05/2013 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 14/05/2013 12:23

EVERYTHING.

Snotty noses, screaming, feeding them junk food, extended bf-ing, co-sleeping, plastic tat, goo-goo baby talk, children butting in when adults are talking, dummies, sticking them in front of TV, many other things I do not wish to remember now.

DS has never had a dummy, purely because he refused. We spent the first three months forcing them on him in an effort to shut him up, so I think he's probably a bit phobic now.

LaQueen · 14/05/2013 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LemonsLimes · 14/05/2013 12:39

Oh yes i don't like it when people pick their toddler up by one wrist.

DollyClothespeg · 14/05/2013 12:41

A bowl of cereal in the car?! That'd be a tad messy. Confused
Fling the brakes on too quickly and they'd have a lap full of milk....

sherbetpips · 14/05/2013 12:46

The snot thing astounded me, especially when they were teething there were permanent candles of snot. I haven't changed my mind on the kids running round restaurants though - hate that still. Our local just banned kids after 7.30. So instead of having the balls to tell the parents of the tearaways to keep them at the table and risk losing there custom they instead ban a whole set of other customers. Joy.
I love listening to the idealistic new mums with there breastfeeding, wrap carrrying, baby led weaning, blah, blah, blah. I barely managed to get up every day for the first six months!

BlueberryHill · 14/05/2013 12:51

I used to judge when parents hid vegetables in food, made faces out of pizzas to get children to eat. Mine would eat vegetables because I told them to do so and would only eat what we ate.

Oh the bliss of ignorance, fast forward a few years and I'm blending pasta sauces to get more vegetables in them.

I was judgey on loud parenting of a child on a train once, however, I think I still would be a bit judgey still on this. Sorry. However, really sympathetic on public tantrums or meltdowns.

Always have been judgey on swearing, smoking, unsafe driving near children / with them in the car.

Nicknamefail · 14/05/2013 12:54

I used to think people were being precious when they timed arrival/departure astounds naps etc. fast forward to me becoming the mother of a baaaaad napper and I feel guilty for those thoughts.

Nicknamefail · 14/05/2013 12:54

Around naps.

MidniteScribbler · 14/05/2013 13:02

I used to hate the snot thing. Wipe their nose for goodness sake! Then DS started nursery and spent six months with a runny nose. Where the hell does it all come from???

I've never been a dummy fan for older children and hadn't even intended on letting DS have a dummy. A few sleepless nights and I begged him to take one. He decided that karma was more fun and completely refused any attempts at taking one.

I was only going to (reluctantly) breast feed for six months. I thought I was being a good mother to give him that long. It was fourteen months before I could convince him to give that up.

I'm still judgmental about kids running around in restaurants. That has never changed. And I still think letting kids have those little trolleys at the hardware shop is pure insanity.

Ahhhh it was so nice when I used to be a perfect parent before DS was born.

Fancydrawers · 14/05/2013 13:03

I judge mothers who smoke while pregnant/when their child is in the pram. Disgusting. Nothing's that urgent, surely.