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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have judged this mum giving her kids their breakfast in the CAR!!???

158 replies

Purplehonesty · 13/05/2013 21:19

One child had a bowl of cereal, spoon and all and the other was eating toast.
I thought really, how disorganised do you have to be not to give your children breakfast before they leave the house...

Fast forward three years and I practically serve up three course meals in the car as we are always in a rush, whilst they watch a DVD on the DVD player I was never ever going to have in my car....

What things did you get all judgemental about before you had kids and realised that you do whatever you can just to get through the day?!

OP posts:
sashh · 14/05/2013 06:05

Dummies. I was never going to give my toddlers a dummy.

Slight hijack, no kids but I do have some common sense.

I was attempting to record a baby's ECG. Ideally you need to person still and relaxed, this baby was less than a week old.

You also cannot have skin/skin contact so no sitting on mum or even mum holding hand.

Baby was a bit squirmy (have yo come across one who wasn't) so I asked the nurse if they had brought a dummy from the ward.

I get a lecture on not giving dummies to babies.

With a dummy you can do an ECG in 30 seconds, without, well you have to record bits when baby is still. It can take an hour.

I never judge anyone giving their baby a dummy

AnnoyedAtWork · 14/05/2013 06:13

3yo kids in buggies
Screaming on public transport

grumpyinthemorning · 14/05/2013 06:32

Screaming kids. I'll admit I'm still not keen, but I have accepted that it happens. Sometimes there's nothing to do but wait for it to pass.

Other than that, I don't think I was ever judgey. Quite practical, me.

Weegiemum · 14/05/2013 06:58

I used to judge older dc in buggies.

Until dd2 was diagnosed with Perthes syndrome (a degenerative hip condition) and was put on strict non-weight-bearing instructions. First it was her own buggy then when she was 5 we got a major from physio. Cue numerous old ladies telling me she was "too big" for a buggy (as she sat in it doing her reading homework in her school uniform). Yes, cos I'm choosing this?

I also judged dummies (we had taken dd1 and ds dummies away at about 8 months) but we never got a chance with dd2 - she was sucking her thumb on a scan at 35 weeks (I had complications) and now at age 9 she's facing major orthodondistry in the next few years as she can't keep it out of her mouth!!

KatyDid02 · 14/05/2013 06:59

Those terrible parents who let their children eat their meals sitting on the sofa and not having a conversation with them.
DD (14) is opposite me right now, she's tucking into a shredded wheat and caramel soya yoghurt with banana whilst I'm on here. Oh the shame Grin

We do have a dining room table, honest.

icklemssunshine1 · 14/05/2013 07:01

Ha ha! Love this! I too was a judgey and childless. Here are the things I do that I SWORE I wouldn't:

-Giving food as a bribe. Fast forward to a meltdown in Boots where DD had one of her meltdowns. Picked up packet of (life saving Quavers) & thus got a quiet shopping trip. I did hand the empty packet to the sales assistant who didn't judge me so she too just be a mother!
-No chocolate, chips or McDonalds. Only haven't done McDonalds as we don't go there but rest is a staple diet. Surely it's better not to deprive so they won't binge later in life?!
-Plonking kids in front of TV. Thank God for Peppa Pig. It is even saved on our V+ box in our bedroom so when DD wakes up & we want a few extra minutes shut eye we bring her in & sit her in bed.

Hang my head in shame.

Sparklymommy · 14/05/2013 07:04

Glad I am not the only one with the dummy double standards! I caved after about three days with DD1 due to DH continiously putting his finger in her mouth. I figured I could at least sterilise the dummy!

RooneyMara · 14/05/2013 07:04

I used to feel upset at being run over by pushchairs in busy shops. I used to think, why can't you go shopping without them! Shock

Now I am a complete pushchair obsessive and get quite cross when I can't get through a crowd of people on legs Grin

urtwistingmymelonman · 14/05/2013 07:12

sorry but ive two kids and im still judgemental.
the snotty nose thing? gross!
children with dummies? not nice!
mums who smoke while pushing a pram or outside the school gates? yuck!(and im a smoker!)
i also cant stand it when mothers dress the kids in cheap,scruffy badly fitting clothes while wearing expensive,designer gear themselves.
amy money i have gos on my children first.
am i judgy? yes!

AaDB · 14/05/2013 07:12

I wish ds would eat breakfast in the way to school. It would save time when we have to leave before 7am. He is starving and must eat when he first wakes. He has a second 'breakfast dessert' at school. Hobbit.

DC can make a gun out of anything. We just call them blasters.

I threw his dummy and bottles away when he was one. Please don't judge or ask me to explain why. He still sucks his clothes and it drives me insane.

My new mantra is I'd rather be common than suicidal.

I don't like it when people swear at little children.

I'm getting more judgmental about smoking. I didn't used to care at all. I think it's old age creeping up on me.

cory · 14/05/2013 07:26

I was so proud of myself for not giving dd a dummy: I really felt superior to the other mums. I ended up with a child who sucked her fingers for yeeears. You can't take the finger off and send it to Santa. Bad, bad choice.

NynaevesSister · 14/05/2013 07:36

No TV in the mornings and rationed at other times. Who would have thought two owl parents would have a lark child? Now I let him play games on my phone and/or watch TV otherwise I have no idea how I would survive the 5am starts.

FuckThisShit · 14/05/2013 07:37

I always judged dummies. There was no way that any of my children would have dummies. So the first three didn't. Number 4 does and I judge myself FFS!

DD1 is 19 and STILL sucks her fucking thumb. When she was three she broke the valuable sucking thumb and I thought 'yippee' she'll stop now. I got that wrong and she just switched.

DD2 never did, she just slept, seemingly like a cat.

DS sucked his thumb, but stopped suddenly when he was 4.

DD3 wanted to be permanently attached to one boob or other and I caved when she was six weeks and gave her a dummy. She is 4 and still has the sodding thing at night. In fact she would rather give up anything than stop with her dummy at night. TBF to her, she is realising that she's too old and won't let anyone else see it. We saw a 4/5 year old walking about with one stuck in her gob and DD3 actually did the catsbum face and judged --so did I-, so I'm hopeful that it might be the beginning if the end.

youarewinning · 14/05/2013 07:40

I swore I'd never be one of those parents who talk to their child constantly - especially going round the supermarket.

Roll on a few years and I'm having to do it to keep DS from running off, wandering towards whatever hi brain is thinking at the time, talking to everyone and anyone else who looks his way will listen.

So next time you see a woman trying to read labels on things in the supermarket -as DS has allergies- whilst talking/ questioning said DS in length about what minecraft, trains, Top Gear etc - PLEASE give me a sympathetic smile - I will NO LONGER judge. Grin

GingerPCatt · 14/05/2013 07:47

I used to totally judge my sils for giving dns unhealthy food. Now DS is not a great eater and ill pretty much let him eat anything and some days he servives on potatoes and ice cream. Hmm

SoupDragon · 14/05/2013 07:48

Mine used to have a bowl of dry cereal and a beaker of milk in the car. Much less scope for mess.

spidersandslugs · 14/05/2013 07:52

I must admit I'm no where near as judgmental as I once was.

I do however judge 'fag mums', mothers who prop a bottle up for their babies as a means to continue clothes shopping & parents who never read to their children.

monkeymamma · 14/05/2013 08:10

Permissions slips - dh's dad did a clear out recently and found several permissions slips dh had forgotten to hand over when he was at school (dh is 40 next year).
I was only judgy about food-faced grubby toddlers (back when I had a cherubic, immaculate BF baby). Post-weaning ds constantly wants snacks when out and about, and seems able to smear them over his face and clothes in seconds. He also screams like a banshee if I try to wipe his face so often choose to be judged for grubbyface rather than screaming toddler...

PurplePidjin · 14/05/2013 08:10

I'm lucky. I have mumsnet.

DP, on the other hand...

Apparently our 6mo pfb will have no games consoles until he's a teenager. Chocolate buttons will be unnecessary in potty training. Junk food will not feature on his radar (actually, we don't eat it so hopefully we can get him to school before he has McDonalds) etc.

I don't laugh inside while nodding and smiling. Oh no Hmm

CelticPromise · 14/05/2013 08:15

I used to judge older kids in buggies. Now I have just bought a carrier for pushing 4yo DS because I am sick of carting the buggy around and he won't walk any distance.

OrangeFootedScrubfowl · 14/05/2013 08:19

I used to judge mums losing their temper. Now I judge myself when I do it! Blush
I wish I could be one of those eternally serene mothers.

Littleturkish · 14/05/2013 08:32

I was going to exclusively BF and never give my baby a bottle.

Lasted two weeks.

bohoec · 14/05/2013 08:47

We're all being judged by people a few steps behind - new parents judge the parent with the screaming toddler, parents of toddlers judge the mum on the school run providing brekkie on the go, parents of school age children judge the teenagers' parents, and so it goes on. The childless ones judge us all. And I was one if them! Blush

I now know everyone just has to do what they have to do to help their little ones make their way, and keep themselves sane while doing it! As long as you're not being cruel, neglectful or damaging their health (pram fags, sweary mums etc) I will not judge.

Whatsthatnoise · 14/05/2013 08:51

I was going to do everything perfectly, I judged dummies, bottles past 12 months, babies with no hats in winter and older children in buggies.

My dd had a dummy in SCBU and gave it up just after her 4th birthday, She never had a bottle past 12months she never drank milk again, I still kind of judge the hat thing but now know its easier said than done and as for buggies my dd has SN she will prob still be using a buggy for the school run.

mistlethrush · 14/05/2013 08:54

I used to be judgy about sun tans on children - until I found that I could slap on factor 50 liberally on a regular basis and still end up with a nut brown child (except for the bits under the wetsuit that just help to show off the tan)