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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to accept petrol money

34 replies

workhell · 13/05/2013 19:14

DH is driving us and a friend about 250 miles to a party on Saturday afternoon (returning Sunday). Friend has offered to give us petrol money. Do we accept? I would insist he took some money if he was driving. Petrol is so expensive! And if he insists, what do we say if he asks how much we want?!

But we'd be driving anyway. We also have more money than friend but a lot more expenses.

WIBU? WWYD?

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 14/05/2013 09:23

Not if I was going anyway.

MrsMelons · 14/05/2013 11:55

I think you should accept it, good friends would want to share the petrol costs IMO unless for instance he wasn't originally going as couldn't afford to get there or something, in which case it would be nice to offer for him to come along.

A third of the petrol or whatever would be fine. You can work the petrol cost out on route planner.

The trouble is - sometimes people take the piss, I have a friend who always makes up some excuse about not driving even when it would make more sense to so I always do. She always manages to forget to give me petrol money/parking or hasn't got any cash left.

Drives me insane as its always an even she wants to go to then will make some excuse just before about why I have to drive. I even ended up doing this with a 6 week old baby for a 500 mile round trip (in one day) I was exhausted as the baby woke up 10 minutes after I arrived home at 2am!

HerrenaHarridan · 14/05/2013 12:32

Your quandry is the reason why I never offer petrol money or ask for an amount, I take it out of pocket put in in vehicle ashtray or similar and say this is for petrol.

I do this as standard if we are going any kind of distance or the journey is made specially for me.

If they try and refuse I just say, Look I used to run a van and I know it's really expensive, even more so now.

As a non driver (at the moment, sitting test next wed!) I can't return the favour. If I could it would sometimes be different.

MidniteScribbler · 14/05/2013 12:42

This is how it would go between my friends and I (irregardless of who owned the car):

A: Here have some petrol money.
B: No, it's all good.
A: No, really, take it.
B: No, stop being silly.
A: I insist.
B: No, I don't want it.
A: Take it.
B: Bugger off!
A: Are you sure.
B: Positive. It's fine.

Some time later arriving at the bar/restaurant/whereever....

A: I'm buying.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 14/05/2013 12:52

If it was me, I would turn the offer of money down and tell them to buy me a bottle of wine, some drinks at the party, or something. However, if it was the other way around, I would probably force you to take the money by having the cash on me and basically handing it to you. Just offering verbally is a bit awkward to be honest and a little bit unfair on you.

WMittens · 14/05/2013 12:56

250 miles is about £35 for a reasonably economic diesel car (is that the round trip BTW, or each way?) - £10-£15 wouldn't be unreasonable to either party, IMO. Obviously you're adding wear and tear and depreciation to your car, but no one (with any common sense) would calculate it to that extent.

And to those saying: "not if I was travelling anyway": I've tried that on buses, it held about as much water as a net. Driving is tiring, and 250 miles is likely to be about 4 hours depending on roads. You can arrive at a party in a refreshed mood as a passenger, or wanting a kip as a driver.

alienbanana · 14/05/2013 12:57

Definitely accept. If you dont then they might be offended.

I've been in the same situation - driving to the other end of the country with friends for a wedding. I expected petrol money from them (didn't have to ask, they offered, as any polite person would do)

It us going to cost £70-80 for the trip.. if you don't want to go halves you could always suggest they pay to top up the tank before the drive home and just put £25 in or something.

cheeseandchive · 14/05/2013 14:04

Don't not accept it because you think it might look mean. Accept it if it'd help you out, or don't if you want to do him a favour, but don't let appearences have anything to do with it.

FWIW, I never used to accept petrol money until I started being the main driver for our group of friends. Now, if someone offers, it can be really helpful and I will often accept it in light of the fact that it's alot cheaper for someone to give me petrol money than it is for them to take the train. Even if it's a nominal amount (£5, £10, whatever) it does help with the little things. That said, I usually judge it on how regularly I give them a lift, how far it is, whether it's a joint trip or I would be going anyway etc.

ComposHat · 14/05/2013 15:08

if I were going to a party anyway I wouldn't accept money as it isn't costing me anymore. if the friend offered id say 'dont be daft, buy us a drink at the party. '

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