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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Prince Harry

230 replies

emeraldgirl1 · 10/05/2013 00:02

AIBU to find it impossible NOT to have a sneaky crush?

Like pretty much every grown woman in America, apparently...

Blush

Only a few years ago I was openly mocking a friend for her minor obsession with him.

And oh god I have just realised my mum fancies him too... Blush Blush

OP posts:
EldritchCleavage · 10/05/2013 15:44

How old was he when he did the party thing though? I don't think we should hang people out to dry for the odd teenage misjudgment, really, if that's the age he was.

Bluegrass · 10/05/2013 15:58

I could never get too worked up about the costume, comedy nazi's have been a tv staple since the war because the intention was to mock them. If Harry intended to do the same (over the top silly German accent etc) then I couldn't really give a damn, although he should've realised that it would be used against him.

Someone said above that the term "Paki" was intrinsically racist. I don't agree. It is associated with racism in the UK as it has a history of being used pejoratively. In some other countries it is seen as an acceptable abbreviation. I think the point came up a few years back when George Bush used it. Of course Harry knows the UK history of the term but still, an abbreviated version of a country's name is not intrinsically racist, it depends on context and intent.

KitchenandJumble · 10/05/2013 16:13

I don't care how young and/or drunk Harry was when he wore a Nazi costume. It was wrong. There's nothing witty or clever or epater le bourgeois about it. Anyone who thinks this is appropriate attire for a party has the sensitivity and historical awareness of a newt.

Is it the worst thing anyone has ever done? No, of course not. But seeing people defending that costume really makes my hackles rise.

As for the word "Paki" not being offensive in other places? Well, I doubt that, but it hardly matters in this case. Harry is English. He has lived his entire life in England. He knows what that word means to people in the UK.

landofsoapandglory · 10/05/2013 16:20

You do to get in as an officer, thegreylady.

LunaticFringe · 10/05/2013 16:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QueenStromba · 10/05/2013 18:17

Harry was 19 when he went to that party. I did way more stupid things than that when I was 19. He's just enjoyed being young and having the freedom that his brother couldn't have.

As for the racist words, a lot of young people rebel against PCness because we feel like it has gone too far. A few years ago I was going to meet a student I hadn't met before to help him with his project. I asked my supervisor what he looked like and was told he had frizzy hair. When I actually found him he turned out to be mixed race with an afro. If I'd been told that it would have been much easier to pick him out of the crowd. Since when is it not ok to mention someone's race when you're describing someone if it's their most identifying characteristic? (My university is probably less than 0.5% people with any African or Caribbean heritage).

It's the intention behind words that make them horrible. I grew up in Ireland and everyone used the word chinkie as a slang word for Chinese food. I had no idea it was a racist word until I used it in front of a South East Asian friend and she was offended. I also had no idea that the term Oriental was offensive - I always just used it to differentiate between people who look similar to Chinese people and people who look similar to Indian people. When I used the word chinkie I was never being racist with it.

Likewise, I've heard new words and knew they were horribly racist by the way they were said. I did a temp job once and a few of the other temps were South African. I went out for a cigarette with them one day and one of them used the word "coon". I'd never heard it before but the way she said it told me that it was a horrible word.

In my friendship group white, British born people are in the minority. I answer the phone to one of my black friends with "word up my nigger" and my old housemates and I asked him to move in with us so he could be the token black guy who would die first in the zombie apocalypse (he was all up for that but my other housemate moved back to Hong Kong and I moved in with my DP). I'm Irish so get all of the stupid/alcoholic jokes. My Chinese housemate got jokes about how he must have a small penis etc (he probably joked about it more than everyone else did).

seeker · 10/05/2013 21:11

"In my friendship group white, British born people are in the minority. I answer the phone to one of my black friends with "word up my nigger" Yeah, yeah, sure you do, and I bet he thinks it's utterly hilarious, doesn't he?

lottieandmia · 10/05/2013 21:21

QueenStromba - you sound like people in the BNP who try to justify their use of the word 'nigger'

lottieandmia · 10/05/2013 21:26

Never thought of 'chinky' as a racist word? Hmm FFS

jamdonut · 10/05/2013 21:47

(I think I'm going to get blown out of the water for this,but here goes...)

In Afganistan they are Afhgan .

( Old fashioned - Hindustan- you get Hindu/Hindi )

Tajik in Tajikistan
Uzbek in Uzbekistan
Kyrgyz in Kyrgystan

Why not Paki in Pakistan? I know idiots here use it in a derogatory way,but is it not actually the correct term?

(I'm going to wait for people to tell me I'm horribly wrong Blush. Quite scared, actually. )

lottieandmia · 10/05/2013 21:58

No, it's not the correct term.

LessMissAbs · 10/05/2013 21:58

Hes ok, but not quite there, if you get what I mean. There are a lot of nice young posh men about, but you do get ones who are better looking than he, and perhaps a little bit cleverer and talented in the sports field.

KitchenandJumble · 10/05/2013 22:22

Oh, for crying out loud. The post above about how young people "rebel" by using racist language just makes me despair. I certainly hope it isn't representative of the youth of today.

WouldBeHarrietVane · 10/05/2013 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KitchenandJumble · 10/05/2013 22:35

Actually, "black" is perfectly fine terminology in the US.

gettingeasiernow · 10/05/2013 22:36

He's gorgy porgy at the mo, fit and lovable, but won't age well. Windsor faces grow horsier over time, the hair loss won't help. But the name calling is just what posh kids do to each other, it's not done maliciously or behind people's backs and I doubt the recipient was offended. He made mistakes when he was young, but he was the little boy following the coffin, so I let it all go.

chattychattyboomba · 10/05/2013 22:38

Back of he's mine! hope dh doesn't mind
He's gorgeous and ginger like me and also my age. Wink

DisappointedHorse · 10/05/2013 22:41

Prince Harry aside who I actually quite like, I can see the reason for chinky. Where I grew up, again, it was slang for a Chinese takeaway. It wasn't until I went to uni that I realised it was most definitely not acceptable and have not used it since. I was mortified.

There is a corner shop near my parents called The Paki Shop. Run by very tongue in cheek Indians. I have never worked out if they mean it offensively or not.

I didn't know that about black not being acceptable in the US.

AmberLeaf · 10/05/2013 22:46

a lot of young people rebel against PCness because we feel like it has gone too far

IME people that 'rebel' against 'pc' do so because they hate not being able to be openly racist.

AmberLeaf · 10/05/2013 22:47

Black is acceptable in the US

D0GWithAYoni · 10/05/2013 22:49

Not only are you bu. you are irretrievably broken. Sorry. Yuck boak etc

Mimishimi · 10/05/2013 23:09

He looks like a very ordinary young Englishman to me. I don't see Charles in him at all, he does resemble James Hewitt but I didn't know that JH inly met Diana after Harry had been born. He may have got those looks from his grandfather.

seeker · 10/05/2013 23:20

"Why not Paki in Pakistan? I know idiots here use it in a derogatory way,but is it not actually the correct term?"

The correct term is Pakistani.

ComposHat · 11/05/2013 02:51

Why not Paki in Pakistan? I know idiots here use it in a derogatory way,but is it not actually the correct term?

I am tired...very tired but here goes.

No 'Paki' is not the correct term.It is Pakistani as seeker points.

No word is intrinsically racist or offensive, it is the cultural and historical meanings that get attached to it that cause offence. The actual word itself is irrelevant, but the significance attached to it.

If the word 'stani' was used instead to taunt, marginalise and goad people from sub continental Asia, if the BNP talked about going 'Stani bashing' or daubed 'Stanis go home' or 'No stanis here' then 'Stani' rather than 'Paki' would have become a taboo word.

I can't see how you can seperate the use of the word 'Paki' from the enormous baggage it has acquired.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 11/05/2013 04:37

DNA tests may not have been around in the 80s when Harry was born, but they sure as hell are now.

There is way, way too much money to be made by the likes of the Tabloids from Harry having non-Royal parentage. Honestly, if there was anything in it, they'd have proved it by now and made a zillion £££.

The fact that absolutely nothing has come out suggests it's maybe time to lay that particular chestnut to bed.