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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have taken my baby into an outpatients waiting room?

126 replies

FannysYourAunt · 09/05/2013 18:12

DH had an appointment at the ENT department of our nearest hospital, around an hour away from us.

He doesnt drive so I picked him up from work and took him to the hospital with our dd, 12 months. When we got there the waiting room was packed full so we took a seat. Dd is very ahem, vocal at the minute so was doing a LOT of loud babbling, not crying or shouting just baby chatter.

The amount of dirty looks and tuts I got were unbelieveable, I could help but wished I had stayed in the car.

Was I being unreasonable.. Is it the done thing notto take young babies to these places or was these people being grumpy?

Grateful for any replies as DH has a few of these appointments in the near future..

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 10/05/2013 16:38

Its not about being second class citizen though. NOBODY should be so loud in a clinic that they disturb others

^ this

Flosshilde · 10/05/2013 16:39

I took my premmie DS to his follow up appointment at paediatrics. He was 10 weeks old. We were waiting to be seen and he starting crying for a feed. So I breastfed him. I honestly thought I had been wiped off people's shoes, the looks I got. It remains the only place I have had any negative reaction to me bfing, and I've fed all over the place. It was utterly bizarre.

valiumredhead · 10/05/2013 16:42

Floss When I BF ds in SCBU, yes I did say SCBU, the nurse went and got a screen 'in case any of the dads were looking'

I told her I was sure they were more interested in their own babies than looking at me!

FFS!

wannabedomesticgoddess · 10/05/2013 16:56

I really find that attitude bizzare. A 1 year old baby shouldnt disturb others? It just doesnt make sense.

Bunbaker · 10/05/2013 17:43

"But why should children be quiet?"

Because people who aren't their parents aren't oblivious to the noise they make.

"Everyone should be quiet in a hospital waiting room, not just children. Its about basic consideration for others, especially as hospitals come with alsorts of worry and pain for people."

"Its not about being second class citizen though. NOBODY should be so loud in a clinic that they disturb others."

I agree with both

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/05/2013 17:49

Me too Bunbaker

This thread has moved from the particular situation in the OP to general claims about unfairnesses to babies and children

The OP can avoid waiting in a busy waiting room with ill people and a noisy baby, so she should. It's not an infringement of anyone's Civil Rights ....

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/05/2013 17:51

"Surely there is not right or wrong answer to this and it is just a case of looking around and being aware, considerate and respectful of other people?"

That about sums it up.

OP has acknowledged there were issues she hadn't thought about, and now she has.

Xmasbaby11 · 10/05/2013 17:59

I'm really surprised by this thread. I have always been tolerant towards children in public places, and now I have children I expect the same tolerance, as long as they are well behaved. We can't alway make small children stay quiet. I'm shocked this would be an issue!

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/05/2013 18:01

Xmas

I agree.

But in a hospital, tolerance is a bit stretched.

Sirzy · 10/05/2013 18:06

xmas, it has to be a 2 way thing and parents have to show some respect to others who may not want to hear their child screaming/babbling loudly

Also, with a hopsital you have to remember you don't know what is going on. When DS was 8 weeks old he was in HDU and it was touch or go if he would survive. During that time I developed an ear infection and was sent by the staff to go down to OOH GP based in the hospital, there was someone with their "happily giggling" baby around 4 months old in the waiting room and for me at that point it was the worst noise ever. Thankfully the OOH were great and rushed me through but at that point I didn't have much tolerance for anyone!

Sirzy · 10/05/2013 18:06

(of course I am not saying that parent shouldn't have had their child there, just explaining that its not always easy to smile at a baby!)

wannabedomesticgoddess · 10/05/2013 18:13

Theres a difference between not smiling at a baby and giving someone dirty looks though.

Should all parents keep their children locked away incase someone is having a bad time?

Sirzy · 10/05/2013 18:31

No parents should try to minimise the distruption their children cause. Surely that is something every parent does as stanard?

wannabedomesticgoddess · 10/05/2013 18:32

Yes. But when the child is too young to understand why does the tolerance of others get removed?

Sirzy · 10/05/2013 18:35

The child is too young to understand not the parents. In the case of the OP the parent could have removed the child from the situation and should have out of respect for others who had to be there.

If you have no choice but to be there then you should do everything you can to entertain the child in a quiet way

Bunbaker · 10/05/2013 18:40

"Yes. But when the child is too young to understand why does the tolerance of others get removed?"

The child might be too young but its parents aren't. I think other people mind less about babies/toddlers being noisy as long as it looks like the parents are trying to calm them down. It gets really annoying when parents seem oblivious to their children causing problems for everyone else.

Xmasbaby11 · 10/05/2013 18:48

Yes, I do see the point about people being vulnerable. I suppose I was thinking more of a doctor's waiting room which seems very family friendly where I am, but of course, hospital patients are potentially suffering a lot more.

Xmasbaby11 · 10/05/2013 18:50

I was thinking OP could go to the canteen until DH is called, but often mobiles don't work in hospitals so I'm not sure that would work.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 10/05/2013 18:50

I still dont think that a parent should leave though. They and their child have as much right to be there.

I agree that it is annoying when the parents dont try to amuse the child, instead letting it run riot. But that does not mean that all children are banned from a waiting room because they might be a bit noisy.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/05/2013 19:28

wannabe

no I don't believe dirty looks are necessary, but then nor was it necessary to bring a noisy baby into a place where people's ears are hurting.

It's not about rights it is about the consideration of one person towards the few.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/05/2013 19:29

sorry

few should read many

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/05/2013 19:30

Stop trying to make this about children needing to be seen and not heard. It's not about that. It's a bout a specific scenario

wannabedomesticgoddess · 10/05/2013 19:34

So should buses stop running?

Should roadworks stop?

Everytime soneone has an ear problem should the world stop turning?

Its a fact of life that there are children who make noise. Just as there are adults who talk painfully loudly (like in my dentist the other day) or machinery that creates a racket.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/05/2013 19:36

No

those are unavoidable.

OP waiting in another place is not

wannabedomesticgoddess · 10/05/2013 19:41

Well I would not expect anyone to leave a waiting room on my account.

I am just confused as to why we are supposed to be tolerating others but that doesnt extend to children in a waiting room.