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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have taken my baby into an outpatients waiting room?

126 replies

FannysYourAunt · 09/05/2013 18:12

DH had an appointment at the ENT department of our nearest hospital, around an hour away from us.

He doesnt drive so I picked him up from work and took him to the hospital with our dd, 12 months. When we got there the waiting room was packed full so we took a seat. Dd is very ahem, vocal at the minute so was doing a LOT of loud babbling, not crying or shouting just baby chatter.

The amount of dirty looks and tuts I got were unbelieveable, I could help but wished I had stayed in the car.

Was I being unreasonable.. Is it the done thing notto take young babies to these places or was these people being grumpy?

Grateful for any replies as DH has a few of these appointments in the near future..

OP posts:

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 09/05/2013 21:51

Why did you have to sit there with your DH? Did he need his hand holding? I would have left with the baby...gone to the cafe or for a walk.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 09/05/2013 21:52

Why shouldnt she sit with her DH?

BackforGood · 09/05/2013 21:53

I don't think it was ideal for your dd or the patients in the waiting room. I would have looked into other options - maybe train or bus for dh ? or maybe someone to look after your dd for a few hours ? or maybe you dropping him off and going out with her for an hour ? or maybe someone else driving him to the appt ? In an emergency situation, then sometimes you have to do what you have to do, but with an appt, you have notice, so it would make more sense to look for an alternative.

Bogeyface · 09/05/2013 21:55

I had to take DS to ENT appointments and had no choice but to take baby DD with me. Should I have left him, aged 6 on his own and taken her to the cafe?

My father has serious hearing problems and with his old aids in he had big problems with noises like that, so he would turn them off. Not ideal but then dragging a pissed of baby to yet another ENT clinic isnt ideal either.

No one is there because they want to be, we just have to accept that sometimes we may have to put up with things that we would rather not.

poppycock6 · 09/05/2013 22:10

It's what you expect in a busy outpatients clinic and whether you feel unwell or not, people do have to bring their kids sometimes as there's no alternative. No point getting grumpy about it.
Don't worry about it OP. If your baby gets loud next time, you could wander outside for a bit.

fallon8 · 09/05/2013 22:15

I would be worried the child could have picked up an infection.
Tbh..I wouldn't have wanted a "vocal" child near me..wouldn't it have been more sensible to him out for a walk and get your husband to phone you? I love children,,but not necessarily yours!

maddening · 09/05/2013 22:22

of course you can take your dc with you - a) I am sure dc have to see ent RSS so from the people giving you evil looks pov your dc may have been a patient for all they knew. B) what if you are the patient and have no one to look after the dc.
I realise that the op fits neither scenario but the other patients giving her evil stares didn't know that so they were bu to do so.

sashh · 10/05/2013 01:14

If people want/insist? on silence they can go private,its a public place,they cannot be so ill if a child's natter bugs them!

Yes actually you can, you can feel that 'natter' as piercing ear ache.

Thumbwitch · 10/05/2013 01:20

I think you were unlucky that it was an ENT appt, where it's likely people might have been caused pain by the noise of your DD. Normally people can cope with baby chatter, and if they can't it's likely they're just being grumpy - but in ENT, it's a bit different.
I used to have to take DS1 to the anti-coagulant clinic with me when I went in the UK - he was a tiny baby (

WouldBeHarrietVane · 10/05/2013 01:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MidniteScribbler · 10/05/2013 02:49

I'd find something else to do with her, because I don't think waiting rooms are the best of places for children when you can avoid it anyway. Better to find somewhere she can run/crawl around and not pick up any bugs.

But then, I'm still jaded from the times I had to sit in an IVF waiting room and someone would bring their children along and think it was just adorable as they ran around getting the faces of women with fertility problems.

Mutley77 · 10/05/2013 04:01

If a child needed to be there fair enough and people just have to cope (i.e. if it was your appointment and you didn't have anyone to look after her)! But otherwise agree with most others - wouldn't take them to sit with my DH while waiting and "impose" them on a whole waiting room full unnecessarily.

I find it a total pain having to entertain a child in that kind of set up anyway so I wouldn't have chosen to do so - never understand why 2 parents go to things like baby ultrasounds/appointments with their toddler - just leave the toddler at home with partner and go on your own .

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 10/05/2013 07:49

wannabe well for one thing hospitals are not ideal places for babies because they are full of germs....that's from my friend who is an ITU nurse. Another, it's not somewhere where everyone is in the best of moods...some people may have had bad news...

wonkylegs · 10/05/2013 07:59

I am a regular hospital goer (musculo-skeletal unit) and I like having baby/ kids babbling away. Often we are waiting an age for appointments or due to the nature of the department you are in and out of dr/x-ray/blood/nurse so you can be in half a day - which is deadly boring. The majority of patients are older due to the diseases being treated but occasionally there are kids and it brightens the wait.
I've only taken DS rarely as since he got bigger he freaks out whenever they do my blood tests and he wants to protect me. Which is funny because he's not bothered when he's had them

Bunbaker · 10/05/2013 08:14

"If people want/insist? on silence they can go private,its a public place,they cannot be so ill if a child's natter bugs them!"

I can't believe the sense of entitlement and selfishness of some of the responses on here. Isn't being in a public place all about being considerate towards other people?

IMO hospital waiting rooms aren't the best places for babies and toddlers unless they have to be there for an appointment. I suspect a lot of patients will be feeling stressed, anxious or unwell and don't need the extra annoyance of a noisy child.

GibberTheMonkey · 10/05/2013 08:23

Never understand why two parents go to ultrasounds?
Um because it's both their babies and they want to know everything is ok. And just possibly because if there is worrying/bad news they can be there to support each other?

TeWiSavesTheDay · 10/05/2013 08:30

Seriously Mutely? Ultrasound are not 'routine' wave at the baby sessions for everyone, if you're going to be told your baby has a health problem or has died most people would want their partner there.

5madthings · 10/05/2013 08:48

Sometimes these things cant be avoided and thats life. I try to avoid taking kids if i can but you cant always and tbh the op and her dh have every right to take their child with them.

midnight re the ivf clinic i donated eggs last year and that meant going to yhe ivf/infertility clinic three/four times a week for scans etc and for some of those app i had to travel over two hours away. I got as much childcare as i could but for some of the app i had to take ds4 and dd who were 4 and 1. I didmt particularly enjoy getting the rush hour train to london and having to dash across london to get to the app with two small children in tow but lots of the app times were given with less than 24hrs notice etc. I did feel.comfortable sat in the waiting rooms with my children but there wasnt much i could do about it and the hospital ataff said it was fine and they were understanding of childcare issues. I actually spoke to a few couples whilst there as they chatted to my toddler. I apologised for taking them with me (couple had no children ans were going through ivf for second time) and explained i was donating eggs. They told me not to be daft i was a patient at the hospital like them and if i needed to take my children with me so be it.

There are often reasons for people to take children, lack.of childcare is an issue for lots of people. Partners may need support etc. Most parents dont like taking their children to these things and arent doing it for fun.

megandraper · 10/05/2013 08:50

YANBU!

People are being absolutely ridiculous on this thread. Of course you can take your baby or child to an ENT waiting room. Not many germs there either, I shouldn't have thought, not like an acute ward.

I attend regular ENT and other hospital appointments and usually have a baby/child with me. It is absolutely fine. No reason at all that you need to take your baby elsewhere - of course if you/baby get bored, it's fine to take them for a walk/to the cafe/playroom as well.

Babies are a fact of life! You don't need to hide one away. For everyone who is grumpy, there'll be someone else cheered by seeing one, and about 20 other people who don't really care either way, because it's just normal, frankly.

Might as well say that no one attending a hospital appointment is allowed to bring a friend/partner/supporter into the waiting room, and they're not allowed to speak, cough, etc.

5madthings · 10/05/2013 08:51

Yeah i am massively fucking entitled bunbaker how dare i donate my eggs to.help a childless couple, put mysrlf through invasive medical treatment AND have the audacity to take my children to some of the appointments....

valiumredhead · 10/05/2013 09:23

Were you parenting loudly OP?

wannabedomesticgoddess · 10/05/2013 09:47

I can't believe the sense of entitlement and selfishness of some of the responses on here. Isn't being in a public place all about being considerate towards other people?

Why were the grumpy people not more considerate to the OP then? It works both ways. And I dont feel its being at all entitled to expect to be able to take your children to a waiting room.

Whoever made the comment about going alone to ultrasounds, you are being absolutely ridiculous.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 10/05/2013 09:47

I don't think you did anything wrong OP. But given that you do have an alternative of taking your DD to cafe or out for a walk I think it is probably easier to do this.

Sirzy · 10/05/2013 09:48

To be fair you if you are feeling ill and worried your consideration for other peoples "loud" children is going to be minimum.

I don't see why it has to be an issue it seems simple to me. If you can avoid taking a child to a hospital appointment with you (as the OP could have) then you do. If you have no choice then you have to do it but you have to make every effort to keep the child entertained and quiet.

jellybeans · 10/05/2013 09:50

I always took my DC so YANBU. However if they got noisy I would walk them about or find a play area and tell receptionist where we were.

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