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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

about wanting to get DS a toy pushchair?

76 replies

ShadowStorm · 07/05/2013 19:13

DS is 21 months, and I'm currently pregnant with DC2.

I've been thinking about getting DS a toy pushchair and doll so that he can play at looking after a baby - sort of practice for being a big brother, IYSWIM. DS also likes playing with pushchairs at playgroups and round friend's houses.

I mentioned this pushchair buying plan to DH, and he looked a bit and said that he thought I shouldn't do this as we don't have room for a toy pushchair (Not strictly true, as we can easily make room for one if we wanted to).
Anyway, I said, well, I'll just get him a doll for now then, and we can get a toy pushchair later.

Turns out DH's real objection wasn't about space. He thinks that DS shouldn't get a doll and pushchair because it would be freaky for DS to play with such a girly toy and pretend to look after a baby. I pointed out that DH himself looks after DS - including when DS was a baby - so DS would be copying his daddy as much as he'd be copying me - but somehow this is different because DS is a real child.

I still think that there'd be nothing wrong with buying DS a pushchair and doll to play with. AIBU?

OP posts:

MortifiedAdams · 07/05/2013 19:41

unisex doll

StuntGirl · 07/05/2013 19:41

Your husband is quite clearly being an unreasonable knob. Buy the pram.

fuzzpig · 07/05/2013 19:42

I've never noticed any negative looks or comments when we've been out BTW.

It does make me sad, though, that I've read heaps of similar threads (usually about buggies or toy kitchens) where a MNer is posting because a DP or parent says it is "wrong" :(

Areyoumadorisitme · 07/05/2013 19:43

ELC do a blue pushchair or used to and I got DS2 a baby boy doll with boy bits from the local department store. He loved that baby!! And the pushchair was one of the best £5 toys we ever had.

YANBU at all.

Knittingnovice · 07/05/2013 19:45

YANBU, we bought DS a pushchair just before DD1's first birthday as we had got her one and did not want fighting. DS would have been 2y8m
When we went to scout camp later that year they loved running round the field with their zingzillas in them.
DS is now in YR and DD2 is 3 weeks old, when I asked him who he played with at school today, he named 5 girls that he played babies and mummies and daddies with. Lots of the boys in YR can be seen zooming around the playground with the pushchairs.
I love that he see's nothing wrong with playing with the babies and would have words with DH if he tried to influence him or discourage him.

QuietNinjaTardis · 07/05/2013 19:46

Ds has got a little blue pushchair, he's never had a doll but he pushes a teddy round in it. Or once when we went for a walk a rugby ball
Your dh is being stupid. Tell him mumsnet says so.

Loulybelle · 07/05/2013 19:46

Buy it, its really cute watching little boys and girls play with pushchairs and stuff, its only imagination play, and imo, imagination play is very important to both girls and boys.

Springforward · 07/05/2013 19:48

This reminds me - at the weekend I bought a little girl we know a present, and as I loved Lego at her age still do I bought her what I thought was a pretty gender neutral set, when it went through the till it flashed up "boy's toys".

I was a little bit sad to be honest. The pink stuff they sell now just looks a bit rubbish by comparison to the primary colours original, IMHO.

Sokmonsta · 07/05/2013 19:50

every day my ds1 walks to school pushing a pink pram. Usually with a car and Thomas toy in but still...

Your Dh will find it less of a problem if DC2 turns out to be a girl. I guess that's where we are lucky (!) dd1 was our first child. We then had ds1 and dts dd2 and ds2. So ds1 naturally played with whatever dd was.

If anyone comments to me negatively I just reply with Daddy pushes the pushchair so why shouldn't the dc. Mostly everyone thinks its sweet.

The only problem we have is ds seems to have picked up ankle hacking when people don't move fast enough for him.

shelli135 · 07/05/2013 19:51

My son (2.6) has got a doll and a pram (both blue). He loves both , goes to sleep with his baby he takes him everywhere.

Iv had some comments and my reply has been something along the lines of 'it's 2013 not 1913, hes my son and if he enjoys playing with a doll I do not have a problem, so you shouldn't either'

Great idea we are expecting our second son in 2 weeks and feel it has helped him understand a little bit more.

WhispersOfWickedness · 07/05/2013 19:51

I have a ds and a dd. We have one toy buggy and two dolls in our house. The buggy and one of the dolls belong to ds! He picked the buggy out himself with his birthday money when he was 3

needaholidaynow · 07/05/2013 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jellybeans · 07/05/2013 19:57

YANBU My son had a pink pushchair and a baby doll and loved it. It's silly how some toys are 'boys' and some 'girls' yet most kids enjoy playing with all toys.

DewDr0p · 07/05/2013 19:58

YANBU!

I did similar for ds when pg with dc2, it worked really well. He was naturally so interested in the new baby (he esp like carrying his doll around in the baby bjorn lol) Later on, Dc2 used to read the "baby" bedtime stories, it was so cute.

sapphirestar · 07/05/2013 19:58

YANBU, my dd got a toy pushchair for christmas age 1.3 and my nephew aged 1 kept pinching it off her to have a go. We all said he should have one too!

Jojay · 07/05/2013 20:01

YANBU. I bought a lovely pink buggy for Ds1 and he adored it, as did Ds1 when he came along. We now have b/g g twins and we had to get another one as they fight over it otherwise

Buy a blue one i it makes DH feel better.

PoppyWearer · 07/05/2013 20:10

YANBU. My 20mo DS was forever playing with his big sister's toy pushchair and baby, so we got him a toy pushchair of his own and now Thomas the Tank Engine/a random handful of plastic dinosaurs are regularly taken for walks around in it (he has no interest in the baby dolls).

needaholidaynow · 07/05/2013 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lovethesea · 07/05/2013 20:14

My DS has a sister 18 months older so we got her a elc fold up pushchair (in blue as I hate all pink) when he arrived. He plays with it lots and is 3 next month. Mostly his teddy or his car collection get taken for walks in it.

It's a toy symbolising something hugely important in their day to day lives for at least the first 2 or 3 years (more if younger siblings) - of course it is brilliant for modelling behaviour and learning.

stopgap · 07/05/2013 20:30

My 20-month-old DS loves pushing his toy pushchair around the park. We don't have a doll, and alternate between a Gruffalo and a toy panda.

He also has a kitchen at home, and whenever we're at play centres, he overlooks the slides and toy cars and makes a beeline for the replica kitchens and fridges. Oh, and his favourite thing at home is the broom.

DeskPlanner · 07/05/2013 20:35

Really ???? This again. Why are some men so bloody stupid.

Buy your son, a doll and a pushchair, he will love them. Ignore your husband. Unless your husband is one of those men who won't push his own ds in the buggy and won't be pushing future dc , his argument really is rubbish. And if he Is one of those men who won't push a buggy, then you have bigger problems.

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 07/05/2013 20:40

We had a fold up one too and a boy cabbage patch kid doll my friend gave him. DH is being silly. My boy is now 17 and is a big sweaty athlete type who likes girls fine despite having a doll, toy kitchen and a dollhouse and his own dust buster . To be frank he used the pushchair mostly for sitting in (get a sturdy one), carting around tonka trucks and ramming things with (his BF had one too and they cackled loudly as they crashed their toy pushchairs together). He loved it.

Eggsbon · 07/05/2013 20:55

YANBU! I bought our DS a doll and a pushchair when he was 21 months and I was pregnant with DD, much to the horror of my DH. DS had absolutely no interest in the doll though and would throw it on the floor if we put it in the pushchair. Whilst DH was a little reluctant at first, his opinion changed almost immediately when he saw how cute he looked pushing it down the road...within a day or two DH was proudly taking DS to the local shop just so DS could push the milk home in the pushchair.

Original poster

ShadowStorm · 07/05/2013 20:55

Sounds pretty unanimous then!

Thanks for the above suggestions of where to find ones that aren't pink. I've had a quick look at some in passing when out shopping, and so far all the ones I've spotted have been pink or pink & purple. I'd prefer to get one that's a gender neutral colour if possible.

And yes, DH does push DS in the buggy, as well doing his fair share of other childcare tasks when he's not at work.

OP posts:

Stubbed56 · 07/05/2013 21:07

My husband was exactly the same when I suggested a doll for our 16 month old last night (I'm pregnant). I am looking for a doll + toy car seat though, if anyone can tell me where to get one. I'm just going to ignore DH and I bet our little boy loves it

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