We need a "proper" reality cooking show

[IsItMeOr]

Where you realise that the pan you need is dirty from the other day, DC want to "help" and/or the cbeebies programme they're watching runs out before you've finished.

And you haven't got all the ingredients.

And you are SURE you had that worcestershire sauce/mustard/cumin/ whatever. Taking most of cupboard contents out, and thinking god I really need to stiry.....Oh bugger, what am I going to use instead, moment. In between the kids killing eachother and shouting, will you two just stop .....

I told the dcs because we'd never heard it before. They apparently prefer the term noodles!

And when you are trying to cut up a butternut squash, your Mr Bloom's Veggies-loving children shout in unison, 'Nooooo! Don't kill Raymond!'

And the carrots you were banking on being OK had turned to liquid in the bottom of your fridge, so you had to fish some frozen peas out.

I'm never impressed by TV recipes for some "quick" 20 minute meal where it seems to take 20 minutes to chop everything up before you even start cooking because you don't have a home economist doing all the food prep into nice little bowls and quirky jars for you (which they also wash up out of sight, as you finish with them, so you never have a mess in your kitchen)

And have a round with who can be the first to realise they hadn't put water in the carrots before turning on. Double points if only half the judges comment on the smoky flavour.

Oh yes.... or the Temperamental Cooker that only lights sometimes.

or the oven where the dial and the actual oven temperature are only loosely connected.

And managing the fight between DC as to who is going to help pour/stir/measure/taste whatever it is you are doing, first...

Everytime you cook ANYTHING

This shows needs an obstacle course. DC pattering around at your feet taking pots and spoons out the drawers, leaving them open so you walk into them, abandoning half said pots on the floor and taking the ones you actually want on a quest around the house and garden?

Oh yes. Make it a real challenge tv producers.

Oh yes, a dc on a ride-on car underfoot.

Ooooh, can we add in a toddler who sneaks into the chicken and turns the hob/oven dials up or down at random?

There has to be an obstacle course round featuring cars, hobby horses, hulking great labradors and booby trapped tupperware cupboards, accompanied by the obligatory toddler tugging on skirt/shirt/apron whingeing about how hungry they are.

Bollocks, just saw TeWi's post. Sorry

Great minds Leo!

not forgetting small child wrapped round your leg.

i actually can't watch cooking programmes as i am too jealous of all their lovely bowls of beautifully cut vegetables - everything weighed, so civilised and proper.

Can we add the item with the lose lid so when you pick it up it goes everywhere apart from in the cooking?

Or the Chilli flakes pot that you shake into the pot and the lid comes off with all the contents!

Sounds amazing! Come on BBC let's see you rise to the challenge with MumsNet being Technical Advisers!

All recipes must be entitled "chicken-something" or "sausage-something" (even if it's lamb or beef or pork or fish) because those are the only meats that the DCs judges will eat.

There needs to be an entire programme devoted to sweetcorn-based recipes, for the same reason.

Having a severe flashback now - I'd completely forgotten the phase when DS used to randomly alter the temp on the oven, and you could never be sure quite when he had done it, so how much correction was needed...

I actually quite like Gordon Ramsey, but I'm not sure the NSPCC would allow us to include him in the programme if real live toddlers were going to be deployed.

Great idea, could throw in different challenges.....dh is late, dh said he would be in early to do BBQ. yes you Dh hence....indoor meat fest.

Oh and Dcs trying to squeeze into tiny kitchen to get a snack...I'm making dinner....OUT

In the middle of making the gravy your Dh comes in with the ladder to change the florescent bulbs that went out. so you only have 6 inches of space for the whole time. Then he announces it's his fasting day, so don't do him anything. Head banging on walls should get extra points in this reality show.

OMG Poppywearer that made me laugh, I'd forgotten my oldest only ate "meat" no matter what it actually was, if any one dared say it was pork or chicken he'd refuse to eat it as it wasn't "meat"