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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

not an AIBU but an update (aibu to be suspicious of landlord MIL)

116 replies

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 06/05/2013 15:40

I promised I would update so here it is.

original thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a1545014-to-be-a-little-suspicious-of-landlord-MIL

Readers digest version. MIL is our landlord, really rubbish one who breaks the law by not maintaining the boiler at all. We had a sort of agreement to buy this house from her when we could afford to but when we got to that point she kept putting off, making excuses.

We've bought a house, moving this weekend. When DH told MIL she had another screaming tantrum and could not believe what we're doing to her. She's currently not speaking to us.

MoreBeta nailed the situation in his first post of that thread. The mortgage on this house is large, none of the capital has been paid off and she did expect us to take on responsibility for her debts of which this house has seen absolutely no benefit from.

OP posts:
Kundry · 06/05/2013 17:00

Congratulations on your new house and baby - and standing up to your MIL. A huge thing for your DH, he must be so sad. He's lucky to have you.

Bobyan · 06/05/2013 17:06

You dodged that bullet!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 06/05/2013 17:07

She's not speaking to you?

Result!

I am very glad you are out of there.

Don't let her make her debts your problem.

travailtotravel · 06/05/2013 17:13

Ah superb! I am glad you updated. How did you survive the winter in the other house with the dodgy boiler or did you move out?

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 06/05/2013 17:15

Apparently she's going to sell it and keep all the money from the sale. Because obviously people are going to pay full market value for a house that needs a new central heating system, kitchen, bathroom, windows etc Hmm

OP posts:
RandomMess · 06/05/2013 17:21

Glad to hear the good news - all of it Wink

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 06/05/2013 17:21

We survived the winter.

We didn't move out, haven't yet, will have on Saturday.

OP posts:
Inertia · 06/05/2013 17:26

So glad there's a happy ending- thanks for the update and congrats on your new baby, new house and DH who was able to see sense!

Xiaoxiong · 06/05/2013 17:33

Smells I'm not surprised. When DH went through something with FIL, with similar emotional fallout, he actually posted on MN in his own right and got great advice and also went to talk to a counsellor (through work). Just one session was enough, but it helped him massively. He said MN was really helpful as it was neutral (I couldn't talk about it without getting angry, his family and friends were useless as they tried to be peacemakers). I hope he'll consider it Flowers

pickledginger · 06/05/2013 17:33

I remember. I'm so happy for you. You'll have your own home and be beholden to no-one. Except the bank Grin, but they're legally obliged to stick to your agreement.

Good luck with the move.

SquinkiesRule · 06/05/2013 18:24

Well done on getting your own place. Congrats on the new baby.
Let her strop. She acted shamefully.

SugarPasteGreyhound · 06/05/2013 18:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

inabeautifulplace · 06/05/2013 18:40

Congrats for your little boy and for sorting out your own home. Within months, your MIL will be spending piles of cash on that house. Guaranteed :(

redexpat · 06/05/2013 18:41

I remember the orignal thread! Well done OP. Thanks for updating. And congratulations Thanks

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 06/05/2013 18:48

thank you :) I'm sure we will be happy.

inabeautifulplace, I wouldn't be surprised if she did that. She has other rental homes, she must have money put aside for repairs.

OP posts:
MousyMouse · 06/05/2013 18:52

congrats!
all the best, hope you have a smooth move!

AwkwardSquad · 06/05/2013 18:56

I remember your thread too, I was aghast. Well done to you and your DH for getting yourselves out of a horrible situation.

Jux · 06/05/2013 19:21

Yes, I remember too.

Congrats on the boy as well! Thanks

glad you're going to be warm next winter.

ChasedByBees · 06/05/2013 20:19

Fantastic news! Hope the winter wasn't too difficult.

DontmindifIdo · 06/05/2013 20:26

oh I remember you too. Yes, she was always going to find the money in order to get market value/rent it out again. She always could have done this for you, but because you didn't make her, she was happy to not do. She saw you as tenants she could screw over because you're family - she really didn't care about your physical safety, so don't care about her financial situation.

and if she really thought she could get full value without spending any money on it then she wouldn't be angry, she'd just sell it - she's only angry because she knows it's not worth it.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 06/05/2013 20:29

Do see if you can get a gas engineer to condemn the boiler, Friday would be a good day. Force her hand a little.

claudedebussy · 06/05/2013 21:00

she'll have to sell. she won't be able to rent it out in that condition.

well done for having the balls to stand up to her. unbelievable!!

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii · 06/05/2013 21:12

Thank you so so much for updating. You are a gold star MumsNetter. Thanks Thanks. We LOVE UPDATES Grin

I clearly remember your thread - i posted on it I can't believe you started it last August! It was memorable because of how receptive you were to everyone's advice and also because you sounded so sensible and rational despite the crazy frootloop MIL

I am really pleased that you finally are getting your own home.

Hopefully, things will settle down between you MIL and DH.

EglantinePrice · 06/05/2013 21:12

Congratulations! I remember your OP.

Enjoy your new home (so glad you moved out)

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 06/05/2013 21:45

oldladyknowsnothing, that's the plan Grin

thank you iiiiiiiiiiiii Blush

OP posts: