I am not sure if my wedding plans are unreasonable or not. I think they are probably unreasonable and I don't want to cause offence so I feel like it is probably best not to get married at all.
Me and DP got engaged last year and plan to get married next summer, we have a ds who is 4.5 months and not a huge amount of spare money.
Both me and DP have huge families, if we invited just our parents and siblings (+kids) it would be close to 50 people. We live in DP's home country my family are in the UK, we would have the wedding in the country where we live now.
My plan is to hire the local barn, it is converted into a party location and it has seating for 200 people (along with plates, glasses etc) we would have the ceromony in the gardens of our apartment complex.
We were thinking of saying to the guests that instead of bringing a gift could they bring a dish of food, nothing fancy just a salad or a few muffins, we would buy some basic foods and basic alcohol. We wouldn't ask the UK guests to bring any food as they would have the aditional cost of travel/hotels.
We would make it clear that we would not be offended if our guests were unable to bring anything.
The other option would be to wait but my grandfather is well and able to travel now but he has an illness which makes it unlikely that he will be able to travel in 3-5 years time (the time it would realistically take for us to save up the money to have a wedding meal for the hoards entire family)
There are no legal reasons to get married, we live in a country where the majority of couples get married when their children are a little older.
I wouldn't be flouncing around in a 3 grand dress whilst eating food that our guests had provided everything would very much be done on a tight budget.
Is this a very rude idea?