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AIBU?

16 children not going on year 6 residential

203 replies

Restorer · 04/05/2013 11:12

Out of a year group of 40ish.

School doesn't know "reasons" for them not going, but it's likely IMO that most is down to cost. Some will be because they/their parents didn't want to be away from home.

The yr6 teacher, who will be at school with the 16, is planning activities for the week. She feels sad that these children are missing out on "experiences" and wants to do something everyday for the week. So far has arranged for them to go swimming at the local comp (free) a day at an outdoor activity centre (£32 each, plus transport) bowling (£5?)and a session at the local Wildlife Trust reserve (£4.50 plus transport)

The parents haven't been told anything about this yet, but AIBU to think that if you'd had to say no to residential because of the (£230) cost, you'd be annoyed/upset at the request for money for all these activities while the others were away?

The teacher means well and I support entirely the desire to provide experiences and fun for these children who are missing out, but I don't think she has any idea just how much £50 is to some families.

If you agree, do you have any ideas for ways to provide fun and experiences more cheaply?

OP posts:

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YoniOrNotYoni · 05/05/2013 11:21

Sorry, got side tracked and ranty...
Op, yanbu, the teacher their clearly means well, but needs to consider cheaper options. Plenty of fun stuff (putting on a play, making a video or newspaper about school...) can be done for free in school while the others are away.

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KatieScarlett2833 · 05/05/2013 11:26

Mine have been to every residential going. Are they interested in any of the activities they learned now? That would be a big fat no.

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musu · 05/05/2013 11:27

I'd be surprised if all 16 not going is down to cost, particularly when they have had a long time to pay. A fair few may be down to children not wanting to go or parents not wanting them to go.

My dn had a residential trip at that age and the only way my SIL would allow her to go was if she (SIL) and the rest of the family went too (stayed at the same place as well).

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Fairenuff · 05/05/2013 11:29

It's not just a question of cost though. It's a choice. If the children don't want to go or their parents don't want them to go, then that's their choice. No-one has to go.

Even if parents can afford it, they might prefer to spend the money on something else. It will depend not only on finances but also who wants to go where and when and who with, family or friends. All families will be different and they will vary year to year and child to child.

There should be alternative activities arranged for those who don't want to/can't go and these should be affordable and accessible to all.

So your teacher is right, imo, to make sure that those not going still have a fun, bonding, team building, physically and mentally challenging experience but it should also be either free for all or very low cost.

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musu · 05/05/2013 11:30

I wanted to go on the school ski trip. It was £450 in 1979. I didn't even dare ask my parents if I could as it just sounded like such a huge amount of money. Fortunately the education I had means I can afford to pay £1400 for ds to go on his school ski trip despite being a single parent without any support from ds's father. Ski trips are nice but not compulsory, not educational and there is no stigma attached to those children who don't go.

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Fairenuff · 05/05/2013 11:36

I work as a TA and refuse to go on residential trips. My work time is work and my home time is home.

On residentials I would have to work in an extra 12 hours a day - getting up at 6am, no meal breaks (eat with and supervise children at the same time), no evening time, late nights (sometimes up til midnight), disturbed sleep (nightmares, bedwetters, homesickness, falling out with friends). Basically I would be on duty 24 hours a day.

And I would not get paid for this.

As a TA I can turn down the offer but Teachers can't. They have to go and they make the best of it but they are exhausted by the end.

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littleducks · 05/05/2013 12:32

I didn't go on the year six residential, because I didn't really have any close friends going and didn't fancy it. I went away with Brownies and guides quite happily.

I don't think my kids will go as and stay overnight. The school has just changed to a closer venue where children can go just for the day as well. I think this would work better for them.

I don't have a close relationship with the school and don't trust them as much as I do her Brown Owl and others.

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Hulababy · 05/05/2013 13:09

Do people really think teachers should pay to go on these trips?!!!

Teachers give up their time to run these trips - on duty for several hours in addition to their normal working week. No extra pay given but 'at work' all day and into the evening and 'on call' all night. And that doesn't include the extra time spent in planning the trip, organising it and all the prep.

Mind you as some people think thy shouldn't exit full stop maybe that's what they'd prefer. For all teachers to have to pay and then for all trips to stop.

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exoticfruits · 05/05/2013 13:11

Some people think teachers are robots-they should live in a cupboard at school and not have a life-and then they would still complain.

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clam · 05/05/2013 13:12

"I do sometimes wonder whether some schools and teachers fully understand the financial difficulties facing millions of families"

Yeah, right, because teachers don't live in the real world with families of their own and a mortgage/rent to pay. Rolling in money, all of them.

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exoticfruits · 05/05/2013 13:13

Every single time there is a thread like this someone thinks that the teacher should pay for the 'jolly'-clearly someone who has never gone away with a large group of someone else's children!

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SirChenjin · 05/05/2013 13:25

I have no doubt that teachers are not rolling in it - but honestly, someone who thinks that £32 for a day trip (without any consultation with the parents) is reasonable really has no idea of affordability.

That isn't to say that I think she should pay for the pupils - I made that clear in the rest of my post - but can you honestly, hand on heart, say that £32 (plus spending money I would imagine) for a day trip is a reasonable amount to ask parents to cough up?

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YummyCalpol · 05/05/2013 13:36

Midnitescribbler, what a completely vile post!

Of course people think about these things before they 'reproduce' but people's circumstances change. Some families have NO spare cash, ever. Regardless of whether they've had 10 days or 10 years so save for a trip!

My friend and her DH were very comfortably off when they 'reproduced' but due to her husband dying very suddenly finances have been extremely tight for them in recent years.

You might have a cushy life but not everyone has the same luck!

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KatyDid02 · 05/05/2013 13:39

We get told the cost a year before the trip is scheduled and can pay monthly in instalments.

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SirChenjin · 05/05/2013 13:39

I hadn't seen that post by Midnite - what a lot of cack. Ignore ignore ignore.

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YoniOrNotYoni · 05/05/2013 13:49

SirChenjin I dont think anyone here has said that £32 is reasonable for a day trip. What we have done though is answered your question and asked you some in return: why do you wonder if teachers pay for themselves on trips/residentials? Do you think they should?

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infamouspoo · 05/05/2013 13:49

load of cack midnite. When i started 'reproducing' I had never heard of 'residential trips'. They certainly never did such things when I was at school. One trip a year to Avebury or London or something. None in secondary school.
And people dont plan redundancies, disability, sickness, boiler breaking etc. sheesh

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soverylucky · 05/05/2013 13:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenaiMorris · 05/05/2013 13:59

In the seven years ds spent at primary, I only heard of one child who didn't go on the Y6 residential. Obviously there could've been more, but it caused enough of a stir when that one didn't go (her mum wouldn't let her stay away from home) that I believe it was pretty much unique.

The school discreetly helped those who couldn't afford it, plus aunties, grandparents, friends chipped in.

It seems such a shame to miss out - I hope this year is a one off, OP.

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lljkk · 05/05/2013 14:26

If DD misbehaves I have promised to travel half way across England to collect her.

There is NO Way DS2 is going .

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alpinemeadow · 05/05/2013 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin · 05/05/2013 14:31

Why do I wonder if teachers pay for themselves? I just do, it's been one of those things I've often wondered. Do I think they should? No I don't - please see my previous post.

I'm afraid I do think that schools often misjudge the financial implications that school trips have for parents though - as the OP shows. We have been asked for eye-watering amounts over the years throughout the DCs primary education. I don't know if it's different in England, but in Scotland it's not a voluntary contribution, so if you don't pay your child stays in school and joins another class - which happened one year when we were asked for £200 for a residential trip and £85 for ski lessons in the space of 3 months. They had ski lessons the previous year, so we felt that 2 years in a row was too much. DS was one of the very few who didn't go (because we couldn't afford it) and had to stay behind and do lessons with another class. He didn't enjoy the experience, and felt quite embarrassed, which was horrible as a parent.

High School is certainly much easier - trips are much more inclusive and there is more choice. It's obviously not done on a class-wide basis, so no need for children to feel they are the odd one out. Fortunately the trips and activities do seem to have been scaled back/downsized recently in the primary school, so I suspect there has probably been quite a few phone calls and letters from parents behind the scenes.

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SirChenjin · 05/05/2013 14:32

Stay behind from the ski lessons that is, we scraped the cost of the residential trip together

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MamaMumra · 05/05/2013 14:52

MidniteScribbler
If you had spent just 5 minutes a week on self improvement, you would have learned some act and compassion by now.

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MamaMumra · 05/05/2013 14:52

Tact that is. And I forgot I add - how charming a statement.

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