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AIBU?

16 children not going on year 6 residential

203 replies

Restorer · 04/05/2013 11:12

Out of a year group of 40ish.

School doesn't know "reasons" for them not going, but it's likely IMO that most is down to cost. Some will be because they/their parents didn't want to be away from home.

The yr6 teacher, who will be at school with the 16, is planning activities for the week. She feels sad that these children are missing out on "experiences" and wants to do something everyday for the week. So far has arranged for them to go swimming at the local comp (free) a day at an outdoor activity centre (£32 each, plus transport) bowling (£5?)and a session at the local Wildlife Trust reserve (£4.50 plus transport)

The parents haven't been told anything about this yet, but AIBU to think that if you'd had to say no to residential because of the (£230) cost, you'd be annoyed/upset at the request for money for all these activities while the others were away?

The teacher means well and I support entirely the desire to provide experiences and fun for these children who are missing out, but I don't think she has any idea just how much £50 is to some families.

If you agree, do you have any ideas for ways to provide fun and experiences more cheaply?

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matchpoint · 04/05/2013 19:31

I actually used to work at an outdoor activity centre that did school residentials, so I'm coming at it from a different perspective, but I strongly believe that these trips are incredibly valuable for children: they challenge themselves, learn new things, build relationships with peers and teachers, gain independence, and most importantly HAVE FUN!

It makes me sad that parents let their children stay away simply because the child doesn't want too! Well, if you're happy for your child to stay in their comfort zone for their entire life and never push themselves...it's certainly not something I want for my DDs.

Yonididnaedaethat · 04/05/2013 19:39

My Dd didn't go to her trip away not because of money but because she's a bed wetter

Restorer · 04/05/2013 19:47

That's a shame Yoni. If you'd spoken to the school, they would have got school nurse involved to try and solve the problem (apologies if you've already tried everything) and it that didn't help they would have taken steps to make sure she wasn't embarrassed by it while she was away. No-one needs to know if it's handled properly.

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matchpoint · 04/05/2013 19:48

Yonididnaedaethat we had so many children at the outdoor activity centre who were bedwetters, and obviously they (and their parents) were very concerned about how it would be managed. It can be dealt with discreetly, and the child can go on to have a great time (as I witnessed many times with my own eyes).

Seems a shame to deprive a child of a positive experience because they wet the bed-it can be dealt with successfully, with minimal embarassement.

infamouspoo · 04/05/2013 19:51

I am vaguely wondering how schools deal with children who have difficullties at night, like bed wetting or in ds's case, seizures, stopping breathing (he's on an O2 monitor) so will need night care. Plus he wakes 5 or 6 times a night and screams. Now for me it would be bliss to have him bog off for 6 nights but clearly a bit of an issue for classmates....

lljkk · 04/05/2013 19:53

One of DD's buddies not going, not because of money but rather she is a total homebird & cried herself to sleep last year, both nights, on the 2-nite local residential. The other girls mocked her for crying which Dd was incensed about; DD became her mate because DD told the other girls off.

The mate has had enough of comfort-zone pushing for now.

Another friend her DD not going because the girl's mother hugely dislikes one of the adults going; he publicly mocked the girl last year, by all accounts.

£200 for our trip, which includes an ice skating stop & ice creams out for all on last day, it is good value for money, they are doing loads & loads. Even DD's very skint friend is going (but no homesickness issues for her).

lljkk · 04/05/2013 19:54

Oh fig, this discussion is making me just remember, I have been asked to get travel sickness pills for DD! Never tried any before. Any suggestions?

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 04/05/2013 20:00

Our schools fundraise to make sure the trips can happen. They also ask parents if they would be willing to make a small extra donation to help pay for scholarships. The kids organised a halloween costume/old toys sale the month before Halloween to pay for their spring 5th grade trip. They made posters and advertised and ran the stall before and after school for a week.

DS went to his 5th grade camp and his 6th grade one (two different schools) but did not go to his 8th grade one (age 13) because he decided he wanted to do a different trip (for the sport he did) and we gave him the choice.

Hulababy · 04/05/2013 20:07

You can't cancel the big trip for the 24 children who are going and who are looking forward to it. That's still 60% after all and it would definitely be unfair on those children to have their expectations dashed!

Hulababy · 04/05/2013 20:09

DD's school does a residential every year from Y3. They have had children who wet the bed. The teachers always mentioned it in the initially parent's meeting, before letters go out, and how they manage it - incase any parents are concerned about it. They are very discreet.

Picturesinthefirelight · 04/05/2013 20:18

I didn't go on my high school outdoor activity centre week. It sounded like my idea if hell - still does

I'm happy in my comfort zone thanks.

LillyPickle · 04/05/2013 20:21

Restorer, we managed to get a grant from a charity towards our Y6 residential course - would you like me to DM you the details so you can try for it next year? It was very generous.

Restorer · 04/05/2013 20:25

That would be great Lilly, thank you. I spent ages researching and really negotiating hard to get the costs as low as they are and it is a real shame that some still can't manage it.

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SirChenjin · 04/05/2013 20:31

It is a shame, but that's the reality for many, many parents. £230 is a heck of a lot of money, and that's before spending money and buying outdoor kit - even if it's from ebay or gumtree. I know you said they've been paying in installments since Sept, but that's £30 a month with Christmas and Easter in the middle of all that - families really are struggling these days.

ryanboy · 04/05/2013 20:32

My DS had a school trip which was arranged at very short notice .You had 2 weeks notice (in December) to fing £450.He was the only one who didn't go and the subject teacher went too.So not only was he stuck at school. he missed out on the lessons in that subject 3 months before A2s

Panzee · 04/05/2013 20:35

I took some children on an activity day once, and got to join in the activities too. I had an ok time but could have lived without it. And that was as an adult.
I'm glad I never did it as a child. It would have been hell on earth. I don't get why people assume that abseiling or getting wet is automatically fun for everyone. I was a bit Wednesday Addams too. :o

Yonididnaedaethat · 04/05/2013 20:39

Thanks to the replies about bed wetting, my DS is also a bed wetter and I was starting to worry about him going too but after reading the messages I'm feeling better about it.....even tho it won't be until next year it's still a weight off my mind

SirChenjin · 04/05/2013 20:41

Bit of a thread hijack here - sorry OP! - but do teachers have to pay to go on trips out of their own pockets or does the school pay? Always wondered that...

SuffolkNWhat · 04/05/2013 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Restorer · 04/05/2013 20:46

The school pays SirChenjin. Sometimes the cost is covered by the children who are going, but it's not supposed to be and our school never does that. The residential centres often provide 1 free place per so many children, but we usually send a few extra adults too.

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bubbles1231 · 04/05/2013 20:47

At our school all children entitled to free school meals have their trip fully funded by PTA.

Restorer · 04/05/2013 20:49

That's nice bubbles, but we have c. 50% FSM and as I said earlier, the children who aren't going are (mostly) not on FSM.

Also, in poor/high FSM areas, you really struggle to get a PTA going anyway.

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BegoniaBampot · 04/05/2013 20:50

so much for a great experience - my 10 yr old has already been in tears and he hasn't even been yet. teachers have left it to the kids to arrange who shares and it's turned into a big popularity contest with the popular kids picking and choosing and then changing their mind while the quieter kids are desperately trying to find someone to share with. Is this the normal way?

SirChenjin · 04/05/2013 20:52

Thanks Suffolk and Restorer . Do you know if that's the case with trips abroad at High School level too?

Restorer · 04/05/2013 20:53

Ah that's really sad and not on Begonia.

We get all the children to write three names on a secret piece of paper. Then the rooms are arranged so everyone shares with at least one person they asked for. The children aren't told which room they'll be in until they get there, which means there's no interference from parents and the children are always happy with what's been decided and don't have time to worry about it anyway.

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