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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be disapointed in the human race :(

92 replies

HeffalumpTheFlump · 03/05/2013 09:31

I went to an appointment at the women's centre at the hospital yesterday. After booking in I was asked to go round to the waiting room which was packed. I'm currently 4 and a half months pregnant and have a bit of a bump. There were plenty of men in the waiting room along with lots of pregnant women. A few of the men near me looked at my bump but didn't offer me a seat. I was fine with that as im not heavily pregnant, I do faint if I stand up too long but they don't know that.

A little while later I managed to get a seat and was waiting for my name to be called. I then saw the most painfully pregnant looking woman (tiny tiny frame and a bump the size of a planet) walk in and I thought surely someone will offer this woman a seat. Nope, not one of the men stood up. As soon as I realised this I gave her mine and had a chat with her. Turns out she is two weeks from being induced with twins and had just walked to the hospital, no wonder she looked exhausted!!!

I'm really cross that not one person in the room cared enough about another human being to offer this lady a seat, it just makes me so sad :(

OP posts:
HeffalumpTheFlump · 03/05/2013 12:43

neunundneunzigluftballons - it's shocking that it needs to be said!!

OP posts:
ubik · 03/05/2013 13:16

Years ago I was sitting on the tube on the Central line when a very smartly dressed lady got in and announced to the carriage:"I am pregnant with twins and I need a seat please," and lo and behold someone got up and offered seat!

Takver · 03/05/2013 13:28

ubik - simple answer.

I think its very easy to stand and suffer & think 'society is terrible', which not only means you are uncomfortable, but also makes your life more unhappy.

In contrast thinking 'these people are distracted and not paying attention, I'll ask someone to help' generally means that you get the seat, and IMO taking that kind of attitude leads to a happier state of mind overall.

Of course, if they all then ignore you or say no, you are then quite justified in being peed off!

anklebitersmum · 03/05/2013 13:37

Oh Heffalump don't get me started...the i-phone tapping, eye rolling tutters giving it "Should be me by now innit" attitude in Accident and Emergency with a suspected splinter or a sore toe where they fell over wellied.

The clue as regards priority is in the title knobheads

I think the best example of manners under duress was the big guy who's dislocated shoulder got stuck in his ribs. Now there was a man who'd offer up his seat I'll bet.

HeffalumpTheFlump · 03/05/2013 13:50

Ubik - I see your point, but my issue is that it doesn't seem to occur to many people to offer without being asked. It takes quite a bit of guts to boldly ask if someone will give up their seat. I didn't feel confident enough to ask yesterday, even once i started to feel a bit wobbly. I was just grateful when someone went into their appointment and a seat became available.

Anklebitersmum - you've got it spot on. However I do play on my iPhone when waiting in a&e (my DH is v accident prone, been there a lot!) but I don't complain promise!!

OP posts:
HeffalumpTheFlump · 03/05/2013 13:51

Sorry that bit was to takver not ubik sorry!!

OP posts:
boxershorts · 03/05/2013 13:54

We have nothing to compare the human race so its illogical to be disappointed.

What we can say is we humans are survivors. Big time.

anklebitersmum · 03/05/2013 14:07

Heffalump i-phone use is forgivable as you are not the patient. Grin

Takver · 03/05/2013 14:37

Sorry to be dense, but why are you not allowed to use an i-phone in A&E Confused - dd has been twice with broken arms (obviously + us too!), and read a book while waiting both times, surely if she had been a few years older a phone/ipad would have been acceptable?

anklebitersmum · 03/05/2013 14:46

it was a reference to an earlier comment Takver Grin

Takver · 03/05/2013 14:50

Ah, did look but failed to find it

I am safe as my phone is a museum piece Grin

StuntGirl · 03/05/2013 18:35

Sorry binky, didn't mean to say you earlier, just got confused! A thousand apologies Grin

wigglesrock · 03/05/2013 18:45

Are you sure you definitely look pregnant? Four and a half months can be a bit of a pregnant or portly question? Of course that makes no difference to the woman who came in after you but maybe you don't look as pregnant as you think Grin I know I never did, I just looked like I enjoyed lots of cake.

SplitHeadGirl · 03/05/2013 20:07

My sister when heavily pregnant at the maternity outpatients couldn't get a seat, along with a few other women. The place was packed with men and women - eventually one of the nurses came out and said 'Would one of the pregnant men mind giving up their seat?' My sis said then and only then a few of the men got up.

Growlithe · 03/05/2013 20:56

Being the devil's advocate on this, I think some men in that environment feel very out of place and even embarrassed, kind of cling to their partner and avoid eye contact with anyone else, especially God forbid another pregnant woman. Shock

Or they might just be ignorant sods.

HeffalumpTheFlump · 03/05/2013 21:08

Wiggles rock, I'm well aware I'm in the is she fat or pregnant zone but I have to say I was pretty bloated yesterday and looked bigger than usual and was wearing a snug vest top so I think i did look pregnant. However I completely get that some might not notice and so I wasn't that fussed that I didn't get offered a seat. It was the poor lady who came along after me I was outraged for :)

OP posts:
petitfiloser · 03/05/2013 21:11

POOHHEAD!!

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