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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think most people would assume you share tapas?

106 replies

AaDB · 02/05/2013 21:32

Why suggest going for tapas, take part in a discussion to ensure a good mix is ordered and then take your food and say you will not be sharing?

OP posts:
Pobblewhohasnotoes · 03/05/2013 07:41

The whole point of tapas is to share!

NettoSuperstar · 03/05/2013 07:54

I want tapas now.

zoobaby · 03/05/2013 08:07

I definitely need to establish some ground rules for sharing food (absolutely no double dipping, etc). Treating a shared plate as a serving platter with clearly defined serving utensils is perfectly acceptable but to actually eat off it using utensils that have been slobbered on? GAH! I feel physically ill. Have you seen how some people eat?

firesidechat · 03/05/2013 08:08

The sharing of Tapas; you are meant to go for the larger portions if you intend to share dishes. The typical small dishes are not really to be shared.

and

I love Tapas, but if you are in a group bigger than 3-4, it is not enjoyable IMO.

I sort of agree with Amberleaf about this. If I go for Tapas with my daughter or husband, we share, but larger groups would make me stressed. We have a friend who would be a nightmare in this situation. Quite frankly they are a greedy pig , with no concept of sharing. If I had to share a tapas with him I would have to have my own dishes or murder would be committed.

I don't think that YABU or YANBU. I think it depends. Didn't they share anything? That would be a bit a Hmm.

DoTheStrand · 03/05/2013 08:08

I have had exactly this problem and was amazed. I went out of dinner with a group of new mums just after DC1 was born (so at that stage where I didn't know them that well). We went to a tapas place, nobody shared and I ended up with potatoes and bread. I have ranted about discussed this a few times since in RL and have been v surprised how many people don't realise you share tapas. Maybe they think it's just food in little bowls.

Since then I have gone to great lengths to find a group of friends who will do what i say love tapas and also know to share.

limitedperiodonly · 03/05/2013 08:10

I hate tapas. Britain already had people who whipped out their calculators at the end of the meal and then we imported something to make it even more miserable.

firesidechat · 03/05/2013 08:13

Also this:

Tapas started as a morsel of food to go with a drink; so by that reckoning they are not for sharing.

The origins of tapas are not as a sharing thing.

Vatta · 03/05/2013 08:22

I think you have to agree before ordering whether you're getting a mix to share or not, I'd never assume that food somebody else ordered was available for the table! The idea of tapas is for each person to get 2 or 3 mini dishes so they can enjoy the variety, I've never seen Spanish people tuck into it like a sharing feast.

SacreBlue · 03/05/2013 08:26

Where you having lunch with Joey from Friends??

We share with close friends and family regardless of the type of food (mostly a 'taste' but my DS has been known to 'taste' his way through quite a lot on my plate if not stopped)

Agree that tapas are best as a wee accompaniment to your own glass but when out for a meal ordering up a tableful is one of the fun things you can do with tapas which you mightn't be able to with starters or main courses

  • unless you are with the DS and I as we frequently order lots of starters and one main course all at once then divvy up on the table :) it'll change your life as well as your waistline if you aren't careful!
Bananasinfadedpjs · 03/05/2013 08:33

I've often been out for tapas with people who don't share, I'd say it is about a 50/50 split among my friends and acquaintances, some share, some eat their own.

I personally think a sharing free for all with a big group doesn't work that well - much better for two or three or four people sitting next to each other to choose a range of dishes between them and just share those, rather than trying to eke out the dish round the whole table, if there are a lot of you.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 03/05/2013 08:40

ripishere papas is shortened for patatas. Not patas.

EmilyNugent · 03/05/2013 08:53

I've heard of tapas but no idea what it is/they are. Never had them. Therefore, I wouldn't know whether they were normally shared.

Trill · 03/05/2013 09:01

YANBU to think that sharing tapas is the norm.

If they didn't want to share food then they should have made that clear that the ordering stage.

Trinpy · 03/05/2013 09:11

This reminds me of one time dh went out for tapas, there was a middle aged couple on the table next to us who both ordered 1 meat dish and 2 veg dishes each then transferred it all to theif plates to eat like a 'proper' meal. Thus completely missing the whole point of tapas. It amused me because it is the kind of thing my parents would do (only people I know who eat pizza with a knife and fork).

Trinpy · 03/05/2013 09:12

dh and I

Original poster
AaDB · 03/05/2013 09:50

Confused just had a text from friend asking if we want to go to my fave tapas bar. She wants to bring partners and I don't think it's a good idea.
There are a few man mountains that could eat for England.

12 is too many for sharing.

I think we are better off going for a meal.
I think others have a different tapas manifesto.

OP posts:
badbride · 03/05/2013 10:00

May I direct readers and contributors of this thread to the #middleclassproblems hashtag on Twitter? Grin

GreenEggsAndNichts · 03/05/2013 10:02

Tapas are better as a bar snack than a meal. If I'm hungry and want a meal, tapas do not fit the bill. Certainly not in a group of 12. Shock

SantanaLopez · 03/05/2013 10:03

I really want tapas now.

Trill · 03/05/2013 10:05

12 is too many for sharing, I agree.

LadySlatternlysHoover · 03/05/2013 10:07

Yes, 12 is too big for tapas. There's never enough room to put all the dishes and then what you want is down the other end of the table.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 03/05/2013 10:20

Badbride - I follow that it's funny

GreenEggsAndNichts · 03/05/2013 10:46

oh and this thread reminds me. Almost 15 years ago, or whenever tapas were trendy in the US, I remember moving back to my hometown (DC) for a while. I had worked at a restaurant so I asked a friend if she wanted to go there for dinner. She said oh it's closed, it's a tapas bar now.

In our accent ofc, that sounds exactly like 'topless bar' now. And I was Shock at the neighbourhood taking such a turn. Grin

shall shut up now.

Original poster
AaDB · 03/05/2013 12:44

I've spoken to her. She is Laura Tribianni from now on. She likes the food and idea of mixing but does NOT LIKE SHARING with us. I have suggested a meal instead.

Badbride Grin - Spoiler Alert - my fave was 'a swan spat in my salsa'

OP posts:
Original poster
AaDB · 03/05/2013 23:44

Ffs MY oh has just let loose the bombshell they he wouldn't share with a " mixed group of randoms."

OP posts: