to think most people would assume you share tapas?

[AaDB]

Why suggest going for tapas, take part in a discussion to ensure a good mix is ordered and then take your food and say you will not be sharing?

The whole point of tapas is to share!

I want tapas now.

I definitely need to establish some ground rules for sharing food (absolutely no double dipping, etc). Treating a shared plate as a serving platter with clearly defined serving utensils is perfectly acceptable but to actually eat off it using utensils that have been slobbered on? GAH! I feel physically ill. Have you seen how some people eat?

The sharing of Tapas; you are meant to go for the larger portions if you intend to share dishes. The typical small dishes are not really to be shared.

and

I love Tapas, but if you are in a group bigger than 3-4, it is not enjoyable IMO.

I sort of agree with Amberleaf about this. If I go for Tapas with my daughter or husband, we share, but larger groups would make me stressed. We have a friend who would be a nightmare in this situation. Quite frankly they are a greedy pig , with no concept of sharing. If I had to share a tapas with him I would have to have my own dishes or murder would be committed.

I don't think that YABU or YANBU. I think it depends. Didn't they share anything? That would be a bit a .

I have had exactly this problem and was amazed. I went out of dinner with a group of new mums just after DC1 was born (so at that stage where I didn't know them that well). We went to a tapas place, nobody shared and I ended up with potatoes and bread. I have ranted about discussed this a few times since in RL and have been v surprised how many people don't realise you share tapas. Maybe they think it's just food in little bowls.

Since then I have gone to great lengths to find a group of friends who will do what i say love tapas and also know to share.

I hate tapas. Britain already had people who whipped out their calculators at the end of the meal and then we imported something to make it even more miserable.

Also this:

Tapas started as a morsel of food to go with a drink; so by that reckoning they are not for sharing.

The origins of tapas are not as a sharing thing.

I think you have to agree before ordering whether you're getting a mix to share or not, I'd never assume that food somebody else ordered was available for the table! The idea of tapas is for each person to get 2 or 3 mini dishes so they can enjoy the variety, I've never seen Spanish people tuck into it like a sharing feast.

Where you having lunch with Joey from Friends??

We share with close friends and family regardless of the type of food (mostly a 'taste' but my DS has been known to 'taste' his way through quite a lot on my plate if not stopped)

Agree that tapas are best as a wee accompaniment to your own glass but when out for a meal ordering up a tableful is one of the fun things you can do with tapas which you mightn't be able to with starters or main courses

• unless you are with the DS and I as we frequently order lots of starters and one main course all at once then divvy up on the table :) it'll change your life as well as your waistline if you aren't careful!

I've often been out for tapas with people who don't share, I'd say it is about a 50/50 split among my friends and acquaintances, some share, some eat their own.

I personally think a sharing free for all with a big group doesn't work that well - much better for two or three or four people sitting next to each other to choose a range of dishes between them and just share those, rather than trying to eke out the dish round the whole table, if there are a lot of you.

ripishere papas is shortened for patatas. Not patas.

I've heard of tapas but no idea what it is/they are. Never had them. Therefore, I wouldn't know whether they were normally shared.

YANBU to think that sharing tapas is the norm.

If they didn't want to share food then they should have made that clear that the ordering stage.

This reminds me of one time dh went out for tapas, there was a middle aged couple on the table next to us who both ordered 1 meat dish and 2 veg dishes each then transferred it all to theif plates to eat like a 'proper' meal. Thus completely missing the whole point of tapas. It amused me because it is the kind of thing my parents would do (only people I know who eat pizza with a knife and fork).

dh and I

just had a text from friend asking if we want to go to my fave tapas bar. She wants to bring partners and I don't think it's a good idea.
There are a few man mountains that could eat for England.

12 is too many for sharing.

I think we are better off going for a meal.
I think others have a different tapas manifesto.

May I direct readers and contributors of this thread to the #middleclassproblems hashtag on Twitter?

Tapas are better as a bar snack than a meal. If I'm hungry and want a meal, tapas do not fit the bill. Certainly not in a group of 12.

I really want tapas now.

12 is too many for sharing, I agree.

Yes, 12 is too big for tapas. There's never enough room to put all the dishes and then what you want is down the other end of the table.

Badbride - I follow that it's funny

oh and this thread reminds me. Almost 15 years ago, or whenever tapas were trendy in the US, I remember moving back to my hometown (DC) for a while. I had worked at a restaurant so I asked a friend if she wanted to go there for dinner. She said oh it's closed, it's a tapas bar now.

In our accent ofc, that sounds exactly like 'topless bar' now. And I was at the neighbourhood taking such a turn.

shall shut up now.

I've spoken to her. She is Laura Tribianni from now on. She likes the food and idea of mixing but does NOT LIKE SHARING with us. I have suggested a meal instead.

Badbride - Spoiler Alert - my fave was 'a swan spat in my salsa'

Ffs MY oh has just let loose the bombshell they he wouldn't share with a " mixed group of randoms."