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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think most people would assume you share tapas?

106 replies

AaDB · 02/05/2013 21:32

Why suggest going for tapas, take part in a discussion to ensure a good mix is ordered and then take your food and say you will not be sharing?

OP posts:
plantsitter · 02/05/2013 23:08

I only go for Tapas with people I know well enough to say things like 'oi! Stop eating all the pimentos!'. Otherwise the silent tension of desperately wanting the last garlic mushroom yet being too polite to eat it or watching as someone else pops it down their neck is too much for me.

whois · 02/05/2013 23:25

I only go for Tapas with people I know well enough to say things like 'oi! Stop eating all the pimentos!'

^This

Or to places where you order a couple of dishes at a time ad jus keep on going, ordering more of the same if required. Tapas with more than 4 people is always a disaster tho.

starfishmummy · 02/05/2013 23:31

Tapas started as a morsel of food to go with a drink; so by that reckoning they are not for sharing.

Nagoo · 02/05/2013 23:40

When I've been in a big group we've tended to split into little factions and order a few dishes between each pair/ threesome.

I usually only go with DH.

I love tapas. Almost as much as I love the complicated and correct post about the little kebabs Grin

nobeer · 02/05/2013 23:42

Sorry Catgirl, totally disagree. The idea of tapas is so that you can have a try 2 or 3 different things yourself, not necessarily share a small dish with half a dozen others. Now if there's a big group of you, and you all want a tapa in common, then fine, ask for a plate of meatballs or whatever instead of a tapa and share to your hearts content.

Binkybix · 02/05/2013 23:47

I can't relax when having tapas in a group unless it's close friends and we can explicitly agree how many prawns each etc etc.

GladbagsGold · 02/05/2013 23:49

We once went for tapas with what turned out to be a non-sharing couple. It was not fun. It's tapas. The LAW is you share!!!

Only exception is Joey Tribiani.

CoffeeChocolateWine · 02/05/2013 23:58

This reminds me of an occasion years ago when I worked as a team secretary at a company. I was arranging a team lunch for about 8 of us and asked everyone how they would feel about tapas for a change. No complaints so I booked.

So we're at the tapas restaurant and I suggest (obviously) that we choose a load of dishes and share them. One person pipes up that they're just going to order something for themselves and didn't want to share. Then another says they're not sharing either and so it goes on. EVERYBODY ends up ordering their own food and doesn't want to share!!?? Then when the food turns up they just looked at it as if to say "what the f**k is this? This isn't a meal!" and blame me for clearly booking a bit of a crap restaurant! I couldn't believe how ignorant these people were!! Everyone knows what tapas are don't they and the point of them??

I was gobsmacked and I felt sooooooooooooo embarassed for the waiter as all these twats people I worked with started commenting on the pokey portion sizes. I still cringe just thinking about it...

CoffeeChocolateWine · 03/05/2013 00:02

I learnt from this that as some posters have already said, only go with people you know well! For some reason I thought it could be a nice team bonding type of lunch! WRONG!

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 03/05/2013 00:02

Yes, to not share is to fundamentally not understand tapas

There are rules and everything.

GreenEggsAndNichts · 03/05/2013 00:02

I don't like tapas for this reason. Grin I could share with one other person, no problem, but once there are 3-4-more, forget it. Too many people ordering what they want and probably not what I want. It goes from me knowing I'll like at least 50% of the offerings to possibly only liking 25%.

I fret over these things.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 03/05/2013 00:03

Maggie

You are soo losing out though. One tapas dish is boooring.

IMO

IneedAsockamnesty · 03/05/2013 00:07

The place I like just has a counter full and everybody just helps themselves and they keep track with different types of cocktail sticks.

So it is sharing but its not

MidniteScribbler · 03/05/2013 00:14

It depends on the group. My family and some friends are absolutely no problem. They share. But there are a few groups that I wouldn't go near tapas without a ruler to slap their hands. I had to go to a work thing at tapas once and it was a nightmare. "Oh lets all order two plates and then share" turned out to be me sitting there with no food because as soon as it arrived, they were like vultures, scooping half the dish of food on to their plates. It was really quite gross seeing grown adults acting like that over food. I had to stop at McDonalds on the way home. Now, I just say I'm busy and can't go.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 03/05/2013 00:15

I don't assume sharing - just get a bit if what I like.
And a pata is a hoof or paw. It's papas bravas if you are looking for a shortened word for potato.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 03/05/2013 03:38

03:33am, night feed. no tapas.....buggrit Sad

Mmmmmm meatballs....Mmmmmm patas whatsits...Mmmmmm food

Eastpoint · 03/05/2013 03:48

GladBagsGold If I could go for tapas with Joey Tribbiani I'd let him break all the sharing rules.

ripsishere · 03/05/2013 03:57

I went for tapas with my DD a couple of weeks ago. It cost a fortune and was minting. She had baby squid (they were minuscule) in batter. They were so teeny it could just have been batter TBH.
I had papas bravas (although they were advertised as patata).
My top tip is don't eat Spanish food in Penang. It doesn't travel.

ripsishere · 03/05/2013 03:57

it was actually minging.

MusicalEndorphins · 03/05/2013 05:05

Are Tapa's appetizers?

MusicalEndorphins · 03/05/2013 05:11

Ok, I googled them. I never realized there were such cultural differences between Canada and the UK. I have learned many new things on mumsnet! Grin It is not uncommon when out with friends or whom ever to order several appetizers to share for lunch or with drinks in the evening. The only time I see people not share was when it was ordered with a meal, as their appetizer.

TheRealFellatio · 03/05/2013 05:55

I am a sharer and a tryer, but it's easy for me because I like most things. People who want their own and no-one else's are usually fussy types. But tapas portions are very small, it's not hard to have your own order and still have a variety as well, without sharing. Probably best if you want to make sure you get some of the thing you really like to just order three or four things for yourself each. maybe keep two and share two. That was everyone gets a decent selection of the things they actually want to try.

that is my logical and well thought out Tapas manifesto. Grin

TheRealFellatio · 03/05/2013 05:56

I don't like tapas for this reason. I could share with one other person, no problem, but once there are 3-4-more, forget it. Too many people ordering what they want and probably not what I want. It goes from me knowing I'll like at least 50% of the offerings to possibly only liking 25%.

I fret over these things. Oh yes, so do I. Grin

Isiolo · 03/05/2013 06:22

Hahahahahahaha! This has got to be a British thing?! Look at you mentalers completely ruining the whole lovely idea of tapas!

Why on earth go for tapas if you don't like sharing food? That's the whole
point

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 03/05/2013 07:30

Isiolo, I think the non-sharers are in the minority, judging by the amount of tapas restaurants about I'd say, as a nation, we've embraced the sharing. It is just a few mentallers Grin who can't grasp the notion !

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