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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think we should be really freaked out,by all the arrests for sexual abuse of children????

143 replies

Isiolo · 02/05/2013 15:34

Firstly, I am not a 'paedophile on every corner' type of person. But I am wondering if actually, I should be??

Its a bit old news now, but more and more high profile celebs are being arrested for paedophilia in the 60s and 70s.

SO many people got away with it...for so long...Isnt this a sign that it is very widespread? and that it is pretty institutionalised??

Are celebreties more likely to be paedophiles than the rest of the population????

There doesnt seem to be much freaking out or outrage going on...I feel like there should be more

OP posts:
lolaflores · 02/05/2013 18:11

infamouspoo that is an interesting question. Would a charge have to brought by the person involved before anything would go to the police? Also, was he having sex with her at 13 or is that me being really naive?
Mind you, she hasn't been well over the years mentally and physically. Though, it sounded to me that her mum was almost pimping her out.

GladbagsGold · 02/05/2013 18:15

It is scary stuff. I suppose there will always be the same percentage of abusers but I'd like to think it is tackled better these days.

When I was a child we had a 'pervy' teacher, who did get investigated at one point, but we all covered up for him because we thought we would get in trouble for disrespecting a teacher.

It is different now - my primary aged children have lessons about staying safe and they are explicitly told clear messages eg

Its not ok to keep secrets
If I don't feel safe I will tell a trusted person
I will keep telling until I feel safe
My body belongs to me

Plus they learn terms like penis, vagina, anus etc. So should anyone ever try anything inappropriate they have the tools to say 'mr/s x touched my penis' rather than umming and ahhing about 'the special secret game mr/s x played with their tinkle'.

Maryz · 02/05/2013 18:24

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Maryz · 02/05/2013 18:26

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aldiwhore · 02/05/2013 18:46

Why is Steve Tyler still so adored? Why aren't her parents prosecuted? He openly admits it happened. But he's not as ugly as Gary Glitter I guess. Hmm

I hope this introduces an new era of zero tolerance, anonymity (sp) respect for everyone.

But I do think there will be victims created as there will be (hopefully) victims acknowledged.

lotsofdogshere · 02/05/2013 19:26

I'm relieved that the subject of sexual abuse of children is being discussed more openly. Attitudes are changing, I agree, but alongside that we have sexualisation of little girls and a large section of the press that implies there are more false allegations than in reality. When our children were at primary school, historical allegations were made by teenagers, about abuse by a member of staff when they were 7 or 8. The response of the majority of parents was to tell their children the member of staff was off school because some very naughty girls had made up stories about him. Sadly, he wasn't prosecuted because of the likelihood of a middle class man being believed over teens who had their difficulties. This is such a common scenario, and no wonder children find it very hard to tell. At least the press coverage of so many tv personalities will mean many families find themselves talking about this compacted stuff. I do hope children will be growing up with a stronger belief that adults will believe and support them, as this is so hard for children who have been victimised to believe.

MrsMelons · 02/05/2013 20:09

I don't think there is any reason to freak out any more than we were before all this.

JS was most definitely a paedophile and completely abused his position, as is Stuart Hall.

The other cases are all very different, Rolf Harris for example was apparently fairly young himself and was in a relationship with a 15 year old girl, yes still illegal and he should have known better but not in any way similar to JS.

William Roache has been charged with rape of a 15 year old girl, again a different case.

I was having consensual sex at 15, my boyfriend was 21 but I never considered it was wrong at the time (I would be mortified if either of my DSs were in a relationship with a 15 at 21 BTW) I certainly do not think he was a paedophile - just very immature (we split up as I found him too childish).

My brothers wife was a month off her 16th birthday when they met, he was 19 but was definitely a very young 19 and not an 'older man' as such, he was a boy (not all 19 YOs are reall), still at college. They are still together 12 years later.

MrsDeVere · 02/05/2013 20:19

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MrsDeVere · 02/05/2013 20:20

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MrsMelons · 02/05/2013 20:25

According to the reports WR's case was rape so no different other than the age. I was just stating that they were all different charges - not that any were better/worse than others. JS case is at the extremes of awfulness though, we are talking about 9 or 10 YOs who were vulnerable, terminally ill, in hospital etc. I know someone working on the case (very high up) they of course wouldn't discuss specifics but said it was much much worse than what has actually been reported.

My friend was 19 when he was charged for having sex with a 15 year old girl, he met her in a pub where she was drinking, she said she was 18 and they had a one night stand. It is on his record but I don't consider it similar to JS.

MrsMelons · 02/05/2013 20:26

Yes MrsDeVere - I realise that but I wasn't saying it was ok in anyway, rape is never ok.

LunaticFringe · 02/05/2013 20:46

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crypes · 02/05/2013 20:55

Yea I completely agree with people who can remember the Dirty old men hanging around the community in the 70's, so obviously there was lots of Dirty Old Men hanging around the BBC and show business. Children didn't report it in those days and now as adults they can which is a good thing. I was wondering today about the Street cleaner and the stalker in the park of my childhood and if anything happened to those Dirty Old Men, did they ever get reported.

Maryz · 02/05/2013 20:57

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ComposHat · 02/05/2013 20:59

With the exception of Stuart Hall who entered a guilty plea, we don't know anything more about the other cases, so it would be hasty to judge people until some evidence presented. I think some comments on this thread are pressuming guilt before a trial date has even been set.

So far one person has been convicted.

LunaticFringe · 02/05/2013 21:27

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LaGuardia · 02/05/2013 21:37

At the very least, these cases are out in the open. I don't know what is wrong with these men (and it is always men) but I know what I would like to do to them.

Maryz · 02/05/2013 22:03

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ComposHat · 02/05/2013 22:08

don't know what is wrong with these men (and it is always men) but I know what I would like to do to them

I worked for social services and I can assure you that sexual abuse isn't exclusively a male preserve. I have worked with some people who were sexually abused by their own mothers, others who were pimped out by their mothers.

Original poster
Isiolo · 02/05/2013 22:19

In the vast majority of cases, it is men

OP posts:
ComposHat · 02/05/2013 22:27

It is Isiolo but I'd take an educated guess that there is a small but not insignficant 'dark figure' of female child abusers and a number more who either facilitate it or turn a blind eye to it.

I think there is also a difference in the manner in which female and male sex offenders are presented. When you hear about a female teacher in her 30s having sex with a 14/15 male pupil, it is treated as titilation by the press. If the gender roles are reversed the male teacher is an evil peado who needs to be strung up from the nearest lampost.

I'm not condoning either reaction, but both are child sex abuse comitted by a person in a position of trust, but are portrayed in the same manner.

WMittens · 02/05/2013 22:36

I know sexism was more rife and acceptable...but PAEDOPHILIA????

That has never been acceptable

You'd be surprised (although I am talking several hundred years ago).

ImperialBlether · 02/05/2013 22:37

Someone mentioned Samantha Fox - her own father was her manager and pimped her out for photographs.

slhilly · 02/05/2013 22:58

LRDtheFeministDragon - I don't want to appear to be having an argy-bargy with you. I'm just not sure that a stance of "never choose to fight back" is the best advice.

It may make sense to fight back if:

  • you're trained (which, pace, lola, involves training to overcome the natural tendency to freeze. This happens in serious martial arts training)
  • you believe you risk a worse outcome if you don't do anything
  • your ability to flee is limited
These are fairly limited circumstances, but they do exist, and women do fight back successfully from time to time.

The motive I'm ascribing to the police, incidentally, is one of paternalistic superiority "let us deal with it dear, don't try to get involved, you'll only make things worse". I think that is sadly an all too common motivation and the police are all too willing to delude themselves as to what kind of practical help they are able to provide.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 02/05/2013 23:01

I'm only saying what I've been told - I was trying to explain before that I am not in the police, I really am not any kind of expert. I'm not sure what else to say.

I don't agree it'd ever make sense for a child to be taught to fight back against an adult, but if you believe that, it's certainly not my business.

I can see the police might be being paternalistic, but to be fair to them, I haven't heard it put like that, the focus was definitely on the risk of someone maybe having a hidden weapon.