Romance is dead. Dead as a very dead thing.

[AtYourCervix]

H. Going to bed.

Me: Kiss me. You never kiss me needy and demanding Occasionally even I need a bit if affection.

H: I let you cut my toenails earlier.

[sob]

These are cheering me up on a very trying work morning (quick coffee break). Unfortunately I have a toenail ripper-offer too. I sometimes find the bits of nail on his bedside table. Eugh. He used to bite his nails and drop them down the side of the settee, until I found a great load (doing some thorough cleaning for a change) and gave him a bollocking. Don't know where he puts them now!

Thurlow I would take disappointed if I died over DH's comment "It would be really good if you died because..."

I have no idea what joys my death might bring because he stopped speaking then and no amount of teasing would get him to explain.

But since we were discussing our life insurance at the time I suspect he has plans for a speedboat or some sort of fancy car once I am out of the way and have taken my mad ideas about needing to buy food or pay the mortgage with me.

Words are not my DH's forte either. Perhaps we are married to the same man.

In particular he tends to muddle up the words 'popular' and 'common' when he's speaking.

Which is why he once told a neighbour, while they were discussing two neighbours with the same illness, "having illness name is really popular right now" and then went on to say someone's child was "very common at school."

DS, who is going through a contrary stage of doing the opposite of what you want him to do, is "very controversial right now."

It's not dead in our house - I've been very romantically advised that I'm going to "get it tonight". My heart skipped a beat.

Someone actually sold a Mother's Day card with that printed on it?

Or did he write it himself? (Just choosing it would have been bad enough.)

I do take the point about the curry however.

Please tell me he's not a Mafia don, Niklepic.

You've been a great mum so far

Ok it's our 25th wedding anniversary very soon.

Me, ' what shall we do? You decide' ( hoping weekend away ha bloody ha)

Dh, ' well the garden needs sorting lets do that and maybe a drink in the evening'

Last night, dh, ' do I need to wash love or are you knackered'?

But I luffs him.

Ah yes, Body, the immortal romance of the words 'I've given it a bit of a wash...' [hopeful grin...]

at disappointed if you died

Me on Valentine's day,
should we do something romantic for a change
DH I've already cleaned your rubbish out of the car door for you
we may have been marking VD each year anyway...who knew?

and it made laugh that it's VD each(childish )

Snorting at these

Sadly DH has never reached the romantic heights of an ex who's seduction line was "Oy, you're overdressed"

It's dead here too

DH the other day - 'you don't look bad for 37'

Umm...thanks

At the weekend when the kids were both away at sleepovers

DH - 'let's go out for dinner, we haven't been out on our own for ages'
Me - picturing the chance to get dressed up and go somewhere children are not usually welcome 'ok, where do you want to go'
DH - 'Pizza Hut, I've got a half price voucher which runs out on Sunday'

DH eats his toenails.
And then wonders why his arse gets clogged up and he spends half an hour sounding like he's giving birth in the loo...

Romance isn't dead in this house, just in a coma. On our last wedding anniversary he text me to ask if I needed anything from the shop in his way home from work. I sent him a list, he brings the stuff home, we have a nice normal night in. We both bloody forgot until the next day when his Mum phoned and apologised for not sending us a card!
It was our 10th as well...

Pfft, just to give this thread a bit of balance, it's not just men!

The other day we had the following conversation in the morning whilst we were getting ready for work:

Me: "You look nice!"
Her: "I'm going for a poo"

He wrote that himself. He honestly thought it was a nice message

Freddie, that's brilliant!

Oh my. Those curries would need to be darned good!

Romance is alive and well

ex-p 'of course I love you, I shag you don't I?'

Well nice guy it's keeping you informed of her movements!!!

Toe nail eater, oh dear, fantastic thread so funny.

Thurlow's DH should work for Hallmark

"you've been a great mum so far" - Mothers' Day
"I still think you're okay" - Valentines' Day
"you don't look as old as you could do" - Birthday

'I've seen uglier'
'Your arse isn't that big'
'I like you more than I like a lot of other people'

Absy, he did manage the other day to tell me that I looked as though I was dressed as a teenager - which I thought was bad enough until he looked at me again and said, "but I don't think you could pass as a teenager anymore. It's the eyes..."

He is lovely, really. He just doesn't engage his brain before he speaks. I'm eternally fascinated that he's in a customer facing job!

(I always wonder how comments like some of those on this thread would look if you posted them in Relationships )

Ex-p trying to be encouraging and confidence-boosting: 'that's great! See? Not all your ideas are bad'

He works with customers?

For how long?

Gummy -

He's in the emergency services. I can just see him now: "look, it's not that bad, I mean if you think about it you only need one arm to do most things..."