Romance is dead. Dead as a very dead thing.

[AtYourCervix]

H. Going to bed.

Me: Kiss me. You never kiss me needy and demanding Occasionally even I need a bit if affection.

H: I let you cut my toenails earlier.

[sob]

My husband bites his toenails.

I mean, he's nearly 50 so I'm impressed he's that bendy, but still...

Spam fritters it is then

DH rips his toenails off in bed, and then scrapes me with the scratchy toes :( I don't know where the leavings get left

cailin do you mind if I tell you where you went wrong?

No spaghetti hoops with his spam fritters, what man can possibly live without them?

I'm going up.

Do you think we'll make tender, passionate love, the fall asleep entwined in each other?

Or will he be there, snoring, with a cat on his chest? And I'll need to fight for the duvet, and wear 4 layers of deeply saggy and unattractive clothes?

Spaghetti hoops? Who knew?

Nagoo, are you me? There can't be two men out there with horrible torn-off toe-nails who like to spike their wives out of deep sleep by accidentally stretching a foot into them when they were relaxed and off their guard, can there?

Your love is dooomed
Your love is dead

Chirruped my 5 yr old (circa gnomeo and Juliet)

My dh and I looked at each other and giggled

That's romance

When DD had some CBT the therapist asked us how often we had 'couple time'.

We fell about laughing and it has become a bit of a standing joke.

Although he won 2 main courses at a pub on a raffle recently so I suppose we'll have a 'date night'. Ew.

I can beat all of you in the unromantic stakes. ALL. OF. YOU.

Last night, DP got up after DP and I had exercised our rights as a couple. He then looks back at me and says, in a very casual tone, "you know, you really do have a gorgeous pussy."

He then walked off without another word! I was utterly bemused!

YANBU - either romance is dead or men are idiots!

I hope they have hoosps onthe menu.

The only pussy in this bed is lying on his chest purring and dribbling.

I miss my pussy

I think you should kill him. Just in case.

Thurlow are you sure he didn't say he'd be disappointed in you if you died? 'you've let me down, you've let the kids down and worst of all you've let yourself down'.

I'm really sorry to derail such a serious thread but you have all made me chuckle out loud especially Waffly and Magrat. The cat is not amused that I disturbed her sleep.

LOL at Waffly.

The other night DH gave me such a withering look of contempt (after I forgot to lock the side gate on the house and suddenly at 9pm we had a guy in the back garden trying to deliver an indian take away - we have a weird address and live next to a block of flats) I suddenly realised what his ex-wife must have gone through in the years leading up to their nasty divorce.

I thought fuck 'im and went to bed. He asked me in the morning if I was still not talking to him which of course I wasn't. He apologised but suddenly I've seen him in a whole new light.

I'd say romance is over rated.

Waffly

It felt as though he has just put so much damned work in to me, it would be such an arse to go through it all again...

I still can't stop chortling over the 'disappointed'. I mean - I'm sorry if that's heartless of me and all Thurlow but really..................!

Romance does not appear to be dead in my neighbours house, we can hear their romance through the walls!

Ah, Maghag . It's probably fair to say that when you start to feel empathy for his ex-wife that all is not well. Hope he doesn't do it again, and your disillusionment (if that's the right word) doesn't get worse.

Maghag

Yes... Romance over rated.

Not heartless at all! He's very good at comments like that. I love him dearly, but other classics include this year's Mother's Day card (given on Monday, not Sunday) which said You've been a great mum so far

Words are not this man's forte. Making curry, on the other hand...