To feel angry about maternity grants?

[HeffalumpTheFlump]

I am certified unfit to work due to health problems, but my partner works full time. Because my partner works for more than 24 hours a week (regardless of wage) I am no longer eligible for my employment and support allowance. This means no housing benefit or any other financial help, so things are really tight. Once rent, council tax and other bills are paid we have little to no disposable income. We recently found out im pregnant (very shocked as we had been v careful and I have PCOS), the timing isnt brilliant as we had really hoped I would be in better health, a better financial situation etc when we started a family. We are really struggling to find the money for the endless list of things needed for the baby, and so I looked to see if there was any help available. AIBU to be cross that the £500 maternity grant is only available to people if they are on benefits? I know people who are having a baby after being on jobseekers for years, never making any effort to find work and are now having the bulk of their baby things paid for by the benefits system. It seems unfair when my partner is working very long hours for a crappy wage, we are trying to get by on a single income due to my crappy health and there is no help whatsoever. AIBU?

It may be worth getting yourself to the CAB for a benefits check. Could you be entitled to DLA/PIP if you have a long standing condition?

Enormasnob No overtime because the factory were DH works is struggling, he is already working the maximum hours they will allow, despite having crohns disease and an injured back :( its all been pretty terrible timing but people keep telling me it must be meant to be lol.

Jacks365 thank you that's really helpful

I really wish I knew more about babies first hand so I could tell which of the products will actually be useful and which are just being made to look essential by the advertising!!

DON'T apply for the maternity grant until you have had the baby and have been awarded tax credits.

This was a few years ago now, but I was declined for it because I was still working and earning over the threshold. Once the babies were born, we were eligible.

Where are you? I have some stuff you can have

Ok, but perhaps go to your local council instead of the ESA to ask about housing benefit since it is them who would pay it not the ESA lot. Go to the CAB as TeWi says, they should be able to check it for you or do an online benefits calculator. Anyone can apply for housing benefit, and if your income is under a certain level they should be able to help, even just a little bit. It is very unlikely that you wouldn't qualify if you are on a low income.

As for what a newborn needs, if you want a comprehensive list I don't mind writing you one and I promise it will be short!!

New babies do need far less than you think. I had to get everything again for dd4 as i hadn't kept baby things basically i got to start with a pram £45 ebay you can get cheaper. Moses basket £10 ebay again clothes ie vests and babygros to start with cost me about £5 from local charity shop. I planned on breastfeeding ok i failed but started with a couple of bottles and a tupperware box to do cold water sterilization and then slowly added to. Once outgrown i sell clothes on ebay to help fund the next size again generally from charity shops.

Briget - thanks its really nice to have someone understand the pickle we are in. My mum is really involved in the church and they are starting up a warehouse thingy of second hand bits that are more affordable than places like British heart foundation etc so I'm really hoping to find bits like the cot there.

My list mainly consists of:

Cheap storage (1 bed flat, not much room lol)
Cot, mattress and bedding, blankets etc
Pram
Clothes
Breast pump + Bottles (am I wrong to feel a bit funny about having it second hand?)
Sterilising stuff
Nappies and other practicals
Changing bag
Baby bath

I think that's the main bits.

Sorry if I'm not keeping up with the replies lol!!

Basic list of essentials.

Clothing - some vests/sleepsuits
Somewhere for baby to sleep - often you can get cheap cots/cribs/moses baskets on ebay particularly in your local area for collection if you have a car or a friend who can pick up for you.
Bedding and sheets - often you can pick this up cheap at sales or cut down sheets to fit your crib.

Mattress - best to buy this new
Steriliser and bottles if you need to formula feed - I got an electric steriliser and a set of bottles on ebay for 7 pounds!
Again buggies can be picked up cheap on ebay although for the first few months a sling works just as well. These can be picked up secondhand.
car seat - mothercare do low price ones.

am sure other people will be along with more ideas!

If your partner is working 24 hours per week you meet the criteria for working tax credits (though you may not actually get any as the income thresholds pretty low) if you apply for these soon, once your baby is born you can just call to add them to your claim which might speed things up a bit.

I have to say I have been feeling I really should also have:

Changing mat
Baby towels
Moses basket
Healthcare kit
Baby monitor
and some other bits

But I'm trying to tell myself they aren't necessary!!

I am going to go to the CAB after what you have all said because I feel I may not have been given the correct information about some of the benefits. For example: I was told by the midwife about not being able to get the grant of you aren't getting benefits, nothing about tax credits making you eligible after the birth.

Kfc the reason you were ok is tax credits already had your cb ref number but that is needed to claim so it slips things down for a first child.

Heffalump, are you anywhere near East Lancashire, I have a Moses basket & newborn / 0-3 month clothes that I was going to put on freecycle. If you can make use of them, you're more than welcome to them. Most of them were 2nd hand to me as there was no way I was buying new for such a short time.

OP, I know what you mean about being funny about second hand breast pump but if you can find one cheap or free second hand you can often buy a new cup bit (the bit that actually touches the breast)

Make sure you sign up to the baby websites like Emma's Diary - you'll get free packs with various vouchers etc. I got 50% off a pack of Aldi nappies and wipes vouchers in mine. Ended up with 4 vouchers so will use them for 4 packs. It all helps.

Go on freecycle and put requests in for any baby things. I bet you'll get offers of things that people can't be bothered selling so are happy to give away. If you find out what sex the baby is, you can often buy bundles of baby clothes from eBay. The bundles tend to be really reasonably priced.

Go to your local car boot sale - I bet these have loads of baby things which will be loads cheaper than charity shops.

Changing mat - used a towel to start with.
Bath towels - think i got a free one in bounty pack but other than that used ours.
Healthcare kit - don't have i've survived 18 months without
Monitor - never had for any

i Got a Moses basket because it was cheaper than a cot but if you are anywhere near me i have a pram with carrycot you could have.

You can get a new breast pump quite cheap from amazon but that is actually not something I would buy straight away until you are sure you will use it if that makes any sense. I never used a baby bath, the sink was fine for the first wee while and after that the bath. As long as you buy a new mattress (for safety reasons) a second hand cot will be fine. Bedding can be picked up cheap on ebay. Sterilising bits- we have self sterilising bottles but you can just use a plastic box and sterilising tablets which are v cheap. My handbag is my change bag- a nice big one from primark cost me £6. Own brand nappies are around £2.50-£3 and wipes are often on offer usually cost less than £1 per pack. Other toiletries can be bought in home bargains or supermarket own. Clothing is easily picked up v cheap- our local baby selling pages on fb are fab for that, maybe search for your local one? Pram as well can be v cheap if you look around. Storage can probably be bought off fb, there are always drawers etc on my local sites. You honestly don't need any more than that.

Artemis sorry I'm nowhere near :(

We find out in 4 weeks if baby is boy or girl so I will be really stepping up the search then. I was a bit hesitant to join Emma's diary because they have been caught selling people's details on which doesn't sound good! But will start signing up to others, I wasnt aware they did offers/vouchers etc!

KFC yes please to the list!

Thanks thingiebob for urs :)

What you need:

• Nappies (could also consider reusable as might be cheaper?). Don't bother with brand names, all do the same thing
• Vests/babygros/couple of hats from any of the big supermarkets. Good cotton, nice designs but v inexpensive. Likely friends/family will buy loads of clothes as gifts
• pound shop for cotton wool/few muslins and other toiletries
• second hand moses basket/cot and pram (tons and tons of these about at NCT nearly new sales, eBay etc.)
• use a pillow case for a moses basket sheet, don't be bothering with special bedding
• bottles and some formula if not BFeeding

Done

Since baby is here decide later if you want a bouncer etc. Again, you're talking a couple of quid for a second hand one.

I have disposable income and didn't spend that much as its just not necessary. I buy and sell stuff on Gumtree all the time as its just a waste otherwise.

Where are you jacks365?

You don't need a baby bath. You can wash baby in the sink or just use a container

You don't need a changing bag - any bag will do.

As for sterilising - you can use a packet of milton tablets and a large plastic ice cream container.

You may not require a breast pump. As for bottles, you could always get them second hand and buy the teats new. Look on ebay. Often there will be starter kits that people don't want selling for half the price.

What do you think is your budget?

Where are you op?

I have a baby bath here.

I second(or third) contacting cab, if you are unable to work you should be entitled to incapacity benefit or possibly dla

Oh and I also have a Medela breast pump you can have, I could post it to you. In sure you could replace the actual breast cup bit and buy a couple of bottles.

Feel free to pm me if needed x

I agree with jacks that you don't need baby towels (you can honestly only use them a couple months as they are so small) or a healthcare kit and if you live in a small flat you probably won't need monitors. Changing mat is also not very important. In fact, I don't own one