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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask how you plan to protect your children's inheritance

242 replies

OrangeMabel · 25/04/2013 14:19

DD only aged 10 but my main goal is to make sure she has a home for life; with us whilst she's young then a house for herself when she's an adult. So I eventually want to make provision to buy her a house that can't be touched to pay our care home fees, should we need them.

Anyone else got similar goals for their kids and, if so, how to you plan to achieve them?

OP posts:
PuggyMum · 25/04/2013 21:17

A client of mine has his wife in a care home with dementia. Its a very nice one and costs £600 per week.... He came in to see me fretting their life savings would be eaten up within months. Between both company and state pensions the care home fees were well covered and his own living costs very low as no mortgage. I agree if someone needs more specialist care of course the cost would ramp up but that's the extreme. I've only known my clients go into care homes for the usual reasons. Should someone really plan to that degree?

firesidechat · 25/04/2013 21:17

crashdoll, that is very true.

My MIL is in a specialist care home and costs are approx £2,000 a month. Not many pensions would cover that.

CloudsAndTrees · 25/04/2013 21:20

It's not really that I 'don't want it taken away' its more that I don't want to pay for something that others who live a similar life to mine get for free.

And more to the point, I want to help my children. That is more important to me than the type of care home I might have to live in for a few years. I'd rather take the chance that I might need state funded care than take the certainty that my children won't ever be able to own a home or that they will have to rent and claim benefits to do so.

Original poster
OrangeMabel · 25/04/2013 21:20

But I wouldn't want to live if I was so old and frail and ill. I want to enjoy life now with DH and DD, hopefully have some retirement time and then if I do end up in a care home, pay my way for a while and then pop my clogs. But the NHS will probably insist on keeping me alive whilst the care home bleeds me dry! I'd rather buy DD a house than line the pockets of a care home owner whilst living in ill health.

OP posts:
overprotection · 25/04/2013 21:24

It's not really that I 'don't want it taken away' its more that I don't want to pay for something that others who live a similar life to mine get for free.

And more to the point, I want to help my children.

Or to rephrase this line of argument, you want the taxpayer to pay your children an inheritance.

PuggyMum · 25/04/2013 21:25

Operative words were decent pension and go most of the way.... But its all semantics. A sizeable savings pot and a property in the background won't be decimated as rapidly as people often expect.

I won't lose sleep that the op is planning to be a drain on the system in her old age.

crashdoll · 25/04/2013 21:28

"Its more that I don't want to pay for something that others who live a similar life to mine get for free."

Breathtakingly entitled and selfishness in one sentence.

crashdoll · 25/04/2013 21:30

Clouds Do you think a younger adult who suddenly finds themselves in need residential care should not contribute to their care if they have £50K in the bank then?

DontmindifIdo · 25/04/2013 21:30

well then, as I said, unless you're an old parent, the chances are you'd be looking to buy your DD a house when she was in her 20s, and then not be looking at care homes for yourself for another 20 years - the whole 'disposal of assets' thing really won't be looking at gifts made 20 years earlier.

the issue of how you deal with the chances of an exH taking half of that asset depends on how much you see your money being a way of buying control over her adult life. You can insist she gets legal advice, but you will need to accept that she might make bad relationship choices that leads to her losing that house. Of couse, she might also make bad choices like borrow against the value of the house to invest in a business that goes under, or sells the one you bought her, buys something much larger using that money as a deposit and then ends up not being able to pay that mortgage etc. There's lots of ways in which your adult DD might not make the most of your gift - that's not a reason not to give it, and you can't insist on micromanaging her life choices to avoid her not losing "your" money once you've given it.

serin · 25/04/2013 21:33

Our care in future old age may not look anything at all like the model in place today.

In a world where food and natural resources are at a premium future generations may well see fit to introduce euthanasia. Or it may be the "done thing" to take oneself off to the equivalent of dignitas at the first sign of mental or physical deterioration.

We have fucked our kids world up, and its a terrifying idea but who could blame them really?

Our personal plan is to sell the house, buy a smaller house, buy a camper van and travel.

CloudsAndTrees · 25/04/2013 21:33

Or to rephrase this line of argument, you want the taxpayer to pay your children an inheritance.

Well, no. That's just pure bollocks really isn't it?

What I want is to spend the money we (dh and I) have in our lifetimes on helping our children get set up in their lives, and spend whatever we have left over on whatever we need to be relatively comfortable in old age.

Oddly enough, I'm not planning to need residential care in my old age.

I don't want my children to have an inheritance at all. I had my children young, so if we all live to a reasonable life expectancy, they will be well past needing, or even wanting, an inheritance by the time I die.

Takingbackmonday · 25/04/2013 21:36

7 year transfers, decent accountant

CloudsAndTrees · 25/04/2013 21:36

Do you think a younger adult who suddenly finds themselves in need residential care should not contribute to their care if they have £50K in the bank then?

No, I don't. £50k is nothing in terms of a residential care home bill. I'd rather that money was spent on making a younger adult be able to have some quality of life. The basics should be provided by the state when a person can't work.

Takingbackmonday · 25/04/2013 21:37

Death taxes are disgusting

crashdoll · 25/04/2013 21:38

Clouds You are no different to the person claiming benefits, (not that there is anything wrong with legitimately claiming your entitlement) yet you seem to think you are in a different class of person.

PoohBearsHole · 25/04/2013 21:41

Whole different thread I am sure but if a young person needing care has 50k and that lasts 2 years what happens then? They have paid and not relied on anything for perhaps 2 years do they then get thrown out as theyndont have none to pay? Or do the signings the have to fund themselves and their families too as well as the young person?

PuggyMum · 25/04/2013 21:41

Nothing wrong with legitimately claiming your entitlement to benefits just like there is nothing wrong with planning your finances to the benefit of yourself and your family as long as it is with the parameters of the law / tax legislation.

overprotection · 25/04/2013 21:43

Well, no. That's just pure bollocks really isn't it?

Nope.

You want to give you children £x, so the government to pay £x for your care. Or to cut out the middleman, you want the government to give your children £x.

Now fair enough if you personally aren't going to go out of your way to avoid care home fees, but my more general point is that the argument "why should I pay X when others don't have to, I should be able to give the money to my children and the state can pay for me", boils down to the above.

CloudsAndTrees · 25/04/2013 21:44

People claiming benefits aren't one homogenous group. There are people that claim benefits because of circumstances beyond their control, and there are people claiming benefits because they chose to have children they can't afford, or because they are unemployable.

There is nothing wrong with claiming benefits because you have to as a result of circumstances you couldn't control and couldn't reasonably foresee. Same as there is nothing wrong with helping your children with the money for a deposit on a house, or helping them with university costs just because you might end up needing care when you are old 30+ years down the line.

crashdoll · 25/04/2013 21:47

"People claiming benefits aren't one homogenous group."

I'm only repeating what you said.

There is a distinct difference between supporting your children throughout their lifespan and purposely signing over your house to them as you approach old age to purposely avoid care home fees. Anyway, if things in social care continue as they are, it might come to bite you on the backside one day. :)

ivykaty44 · 25/04/2013 21:48

Thing is Orange - what happens if you give your money to your dc and they spend it all - will that be ok? or if they get married and then they get divorced and the spouse walks away with half - which they can do? How are you going to plan for that?

Takingbackmonday · 25/04/2013 21:49

Inheritance is POST TAX income. inheritance tax is wrong

PuggyMum · 25/04/2013 21:49

Exactly clouds... Where would people draw the line? Sorry kids, I can't pay for your driving lessons / first car / uni / wedding in case I need that money for my care home fees! Its ridiculous. People are free to spend their money on whatever they choose. Some people in state funded care homes have spent the equivalent of a house on fags over their lifetime!

CloudsAndTrees · 25/04/2013 21:51

overprotection, I see it completely differently. I pay tax and contribute financially to society, therefore if (and its a big if) I need it, I don't see anything wrong with expecting society to be there for me in return. It works two ways.

If you want to be as ridiculous as to say that anyone who spends their own money on their children is expecting the government to give them an inheritance, then you may as well say that anyone who uses state education when they could afford a couple of years of private education is doing the same.

Is anyone that could afford to pay for a private GP appointment expecting the taxpayer to give their children an inheritance if they pop along to their local GP instead?

No, of course not. That's just silly.

Glittertwins · 25/04/2013 21:52

Asset protection clause and trust written into our wills which kick in now that we have severed the joint tenancy on the house and are tenants in common. The house cannot be sold to pay for care home fees as one half will belong to a trust.

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