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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask how you plan to protect your children's inheritance

242 replies

OrangeMabel · 25/04/2013 14:19

DD only aged 10 but my main goal is to make sure she has a home for life; with us whilst she's young then a house for herself when she's an adult. So I eventually want to make provision to buy her a house that can't be touched to pay our care home fees, should we need them.

Anyone else got similar goals for their kids and, if so, how to you plan to achieve them?

OP posts:
PoohBearsHole · 25/04/2013 20:37

I dont see where the op has suggested she will rely on state care but give everything to her dd? If you do please point me to it!

Portofino · 25/04/2013 20:40

The idea of social security is to provide a safety net and minimum standard of living for those who need it. If you can support yourself, you don't need it. Bein supported by the state should be a fall back, not something to aspire to. And that goes equally for OAPs as it does for young families.

The fact that this message seems to have got lost somewhere over the last 20 odd years is why the country is currently fucked.

2rebecca · 25/04/2013 20:40

I would hope that my kids have the capacity to earn enough money to support themselves.
If my father's money all goes on cruises, sweeties or carers to keep him happy and comfortable in old age that's fine by me. It's his money, I think inheritence is an idea past its sell by date.
Each generation should be able to support itself. I'll help my kids whilst they are kids and students but hope that that is enough for them.

imour · 25/04/2013 20:40

oh we got nit pickers who only comment on what they want to read :) well id like to thank all you self funders , leaves a bit more in the coffers for the likes of me cheers everyone Wine see you at the singalong in the lounge .

overprotection · 25/04/2013 20:45

Quite frankly if your parenting skills are so inept that you feel that you have to provide for your child's every financial need via inheritance you really oughtn't to have had children in the first place.

Decent parents bring up children that can look after themselves.

PuggyMum · 25/04/2013 20:52

Both me and DH have worked for what we have with no help and I worry about the future too for us (care home fees) and future children (due our 1st in October). We plan to help our children with property / university and don't see it as not helping them learn to fend for themselves. We bought our first house when we were 20/23. What 20 year old can buy a house these days? We were both at the bottom of the ladder but were lucky to have both been savers and had a 5% deposit. Those days are long gone now and our kids will need a leg up. We'll make sure they're ready and won't fritter it away. They certainly won't know our plan.

YANBU

PoohBearsHole · 25/04/2013 20:54

Decent parents bring up children who look after themselves, yes, but some bring up children who expect to be looked after. That is the problem, regardless of income.

Original poster
OrangeMabel · 25/04/2013 20:54

I didn't say I wanted to provide for her every financial need.

Grin at being told I'm inept and shouldn't have had a child.

OP posts:
PoohBearsHole · 25/04/2013 20:56

Yes op yu are inept, you wan to look after yourselves but you also wan to loo after your dc. You stood be taken outside and shot for that very reason. How very dare you!

firesidechat · 25/04/2013 20:58

We plan to spend all of our money on enjoying ourselves and possibly paying for a top notch care home, therefore leaving no inheritance for the children.

Hopefully we've given them enough good grounding to make their own way in the world without relying on us.

crashdoll · 25/04/2013 20:58

I'd be right there with you if we could agree that people who have children when they need CB, tax credits, HB are also fucking morals to do what they want. Except those things are seen as legitimate entitlements by many on MN, which is fair enough, but you can't have it both ways.

It isn't comparable because the person is not deliberately 'getting rid' of their money and actually, the social care budget is the issue being discussed and it is a seperate pot of money. Do you know anything about social care? I take it that you don't because you would not be arguing for doing this if you did.

Bowlersarm · 25/04/2013 21:01

But she's not 'getting rid' of her money. She's choosing to buy her daughter a home to live in.

crashdoll · 25/04/2013 21:02

And then sponge off the state.....

Bowlersarm · 25/04/2013 21:06

a) only in the event she is unable to stay in her own home b)when all her money, separate to daughters house runs out

PuggyMum · 25/04/2013 21:06

OP would still have her own home though? That would go a long way towards care home fees if it came to it and I expect from the posts she has made there will be pensions too.... A decent company pension and the state pension go most of the way towards care home fees.

Arisbottle · 25/04/2013 21:08

I think if someone deliberately reduces their income to claim a benefit that is wrong . I thought the same about all the handwringing about child benefit and I feel the sans about hiding money to claim free care,

PuggyMum · 25/04/2013 21:08

I wonder if it would have been the same response if op hadn't mentioned care home fees and had said the idea was to stay under the IHT threshold?? IHT is a completely avoidable tax IMO with careful planning.....

CloudsAndTrees · 25/04/2013 21:08

But it's not deliberately getting rid of your money by spending it on what you want to spend it on either. Otherwise you could apply that to every luxury purchase someone makes.

The point is that not every elderly person needs social care. Money to pay care home fees might not be needed. We aren't obliged to save for it just in case in the same way as we should pay into a pension if we can.

I don't know a huge amount about social care, but I know that in the perfectly nice care home closest to my home has residents who are both state funded and self funded. The people who have self funded are no better off, and the people who are state funding are no worse off.

PoohBearsHole · 25/04/2013 21:08

So the point is, how does she do this? She is no sponging from anyone or the state she warns to have a good plan to set her daughter up!

CruCru · 25/04/2013 21:09

One option is to put some money aside into a junior Self Invested Pension Plan. I think the current maximum you can put in each year is £2,880 but the Government will make it up to £3,600. The earlier a pension is set up the more chance it has of earning investment returns is.

Also, do you contribute to a junior ISA? Most Americans I know set up a college fund as soon as their kids are born.

firesidechat · 25/04/2013 21:09

No way would I want to be reliant on the state for my care home if needed. There isn't enough money to pay for it all now, can you imagine what the standards of care will be by the time we are all old. I'm quite happy to pay for choice when I'm elderly.

crashdoll · 25/04/2013 21:09

"A decent company pension and the state pension go most of the way towards care home fees."

It won't even get close, especially not if someone were to need complex, specialist care.

crashdoll · 25/04/2013 21:11

The OP has admitted she wants to 'protect' her money and Clouds doesn't want the state to 'take it away'.

HollyBerryBush · 25/04/2013 21:13

Just for the hell of it, I'm going to throw a spanner in the Ops thinking. Because I can.

my main goal is to make sure she has a home for life; with us whilst she's young then a house for herself when she's an adult. So I eventually want to make provision to buy her a house that can't be touched to pay our care home fees, should we need them.

What if, thechild marries, divorces and has to give half theequity to theex partner? How are you protecting about that?

I've had serious chats with my boys about protecting their assets and tying assets up in trust so they cant be taken as divorce settle ment.

SuedeEffectPochette · 25/04/2013 21:16

yes, if you buy your child a house, and then they marry, and then they divorce, the ex will get half "your" house. not an obvious way round that one!

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