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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To regret booking this holiday? (intense dread)

111 replies

MarmaladeTwatkins · 24/04/2013 12:41

Basically, we've booked up to go to Florida with some friends for 10 days in September. We booked it last September.

My friends have three DCs, 12, 7 and 3... and since we booked up, the three year old has become really horrible. I know it's bad form to slate kids off on MN but I find him really unbearable. He comes to my house quite often and trashes the place. Crisps stamped into carpets, drinks thrown around, pulling cat's tail, hitting me, hitting his mum, helping himself to food... I know that this could be typical toddler behaviour but my friends just let him do these things. No parenting, no discipline given. They'll happily sit and watch as I am on hands and knees picking up soggy cakes from under sofa or trying to get him to stop tormenting the cat.

I don't think that we are in for a relaxing ten days. I am starting to wish we'd never booked up. Is there a way we can get out of it? AIBU?

OP posts:
Bobyan · 24/04/2013 17:27

I have a friend who's DS age five, tantrums, spits, kicks and is a total pain.

However I have over time taught him to behave for me, by never giving in. I've been very clear to my friend that in my house its my rules or don't bother coming over. He's an angel at my house because he knows the punishment if he isn't. You need to start "training" him when he visits you house now

BellaVita · 24/04/2013 17:31

ENorma - I snorted at your suggestion Grin

specialsubject · 24/04/2013 17:32

tell them that sorry, but he's not welcome in your house until this 'phase' is over.

kids behave like kids, not animals.

Toasttoppers · 24/04/2013 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnscentedStillRomantic · 24/04/2013 18:23

I think you'll have to say anything to get out of this one. Maybe you could develop a terrible allergy to Mickey Mouse?

Don't worry about upsetting them. It's a case of getting on the wrong side of them now by bailing out or deferring it for the holiday where you'll inevitably fall out anyway over the awful kid.

At least the cat will get a break from himGrin

(Omg imagine the long flight, encased in a plane with himShock)

mrsjay · 24/04/2013 18:33

what is SC ?

mrsjay · 24/04/2013 18:34

oh self catering it just clicked Grin you can eat out it is really cheap plan to do things alone -asmuch as you can

Original poster
MarmaladeTwatkins · 24/04/2013 19:09

Am snorting at femur breaking, Escape to Victory and allergy to Mickey Mouse Grin

OP posts:
mrsjay · 24/04/2013 19:59

just wanted to say my parents and little sister and aunt and uncle went when sister was 13 they didnt speak for 2 months when they got back apparently my uncle hated disney world and huffed all the time they were there Shock

EricIsMine · 24/04/2013 21:25

Is there no way you can swap the big villa for two smaller ones (and two hire cars!) ... Possibly fabricating some story about "double booking"? Florida is not a chill out holiday, we have no kids and with just the two of us it was go go go! Overtiredness from theme park overload would not be helped by a pain in the ass child I would suspect Wink

Also, depending where you are staying it may be in a remote housing estate so nowhere to escape to without a car per family! Maybe you can book separate accommodation in the next town helpful

SugarPasteGreyhound · 24/04/2013 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFogsGettingThicker · 24/04/2013 22:06

If he stamps cake into the carpets and otherwise trashes the place - you will all lose the security deposits for cleaning.

Might be worth telling your friends?

Frankly I'd be livid. Can't stand it when children are allowed to trash other people's property.

TheRealFellatio · 25/04/2013 04:14

Yes I was going to say be careful about any damage to the house - make sure if he does anything you point out immediately to the mother that if there is a loss to the deposit it is her problem, not yours! Don't sit back and say nothing or she'll try to say 'how do you know it was my boy and not yours?'

Dubjackeen · 25/04/2013 08:49

Agree re damages/ deposit.That is another reason why I think it is better to start making it clear now that you don't tolerate his behaviour. Better to have this sorted before the holiday.

mrsjay · 25/04/2013 08:57

It is ok to tell him off you know his mum might be really miffed about it but you can say stop or no to him

firesidechat · 25/04/2013 09:03

My daughter and her husband went on holiday to Florida with friends. My daughter has no children and the other couple had one. Lets just say that they are no longer friends.

sandyballs · 25/04/2013 09:18

God what a nightmare, lets hope he changes a bit by then!

We went away with friends with similar aged kids to ours a few years ago. It was stressful to say the least just due to different expectations and ways of parenting. Their kids were hugely embarrassing in restaurants, allowed to get up and down from the table, charge about, occasionally running back to grab a handful of food Hmm. Then they'd sit under the table, these weren't tiny kids either, prob about 7 or 8. Their parents just used to smile and say what a lovely time their kids were having, implying mine weren't because I made them stay sitting at the table.

Never again, we are still friends but have never been away again.

sandyballs · 25/04/2013 09:22

God what a nightmare, lets hope he changes a bit by then!

We went away with friends with similar aged kids to ours a few years ago. It was stressful to say the least just due to different expectations and ways of parenting. Their kids were hugely embarrassing in restaurants, allowed to get up and down from the table, charge about, occasionally running back to grab a handful of food Hmm. Then they'd sit under the table, these weren't tiny kids either, prob about 7 or 8. Their parents just used to smile and say what a lovely time their kids were having, implying mine weren't because I made them stay sitting at the table.

Never again, we are still friends but have never been away again.

sandyballs · 25/04/2013 09:23

Whoops

WillYouDoTheFandango · 25/04/2013 09:48

You have my sympathies, I second the separate cars. DP and I went SC in a villa 3 years ago with another couple before any of us had kids. Having one car and being out in the sticks meant that when they argued all day every fucking day we couldn't escape as they'd come with us and argue in the confined space of the car. Never ever again

mrsjay · 25/04/2013 09:49

oh god will that must have been a tad awkward Shock

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 25/04/2013 10:00

Good old Marmalade let's go to her house I can relax whilst the kids can trash the place while we sit back and watch.

Good old Marmalade let's go with her on holiday I can relax whilst the kids can trash the place while we sit back and watch.

Some parents just have a convenient parenting off switch whether it's visiting family or friends or actually on holiday. Someone else will see to their bratty kids. Romping unchecked through the airport or ferry terminal, haring across busy roads, running beside the pool when they can't swim, leaning out of moving car windows unfettered by seatbelts, nothing's going to happen, we're on holiday, wheeee!

I second trying to establish some kind of new rules before you go away and do your utmost to sit elsewhere on the plane. Wave goodbye to the accommodation deposit because you won't see it again. Prepare your liver for the anaesthetising barrage of alcohol.

WillYouDoTheFandango · 25/04/2013 10:16

Yep it was indeed MrsJay DP and I plastered on smiles for a fortnight and talked incessantly to try to stop them arguing. They couldn't let a single thing go and constantly point scored. They get married this year Confused

mrsjay · 25/04/2013 10:17

they are getting married jeez Hmm

OhLori · 25/04/2013 12:16

I hope you can extricate yourself from this one OP, another vote for cancelling or re-arranging things.